


Heartstrings

by girlwithpassion



Series: Matters of the Hearts [2]
Category: Bollywood RPF, Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Bollywood, Concerts, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Flashbacks, M/M, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, friendships, heartaches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwithpassion/pseuds/girlwithpassion
Summary: This is the sequel to 'Midnight Rendition' and second edition to my 'Matters of the Hearts' series. This is Jitushmann fiction moving forward, exploring their friendship and journey after the Shubh Mangal Zayda Saavdhan release. Jitu develops crush on Ayushmann during SMZS, which he has hidden it pretty well. Exploring what happens to them, their friendship after SMZS is done and they both move on. But can they?
Relationships: Ayushmann Khurrana/Jitendra Kumar, Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi - Mentioned
Series: Matters of the Hearts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662574
Comments: 276
Kudos: 207





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [3amDebs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amDebs/gifts).



> It's a sequel to Midnight Rendition OS, yes, it's a Jitushmann story; it's just a story so treat it like one. It will a be proper story with multiple chapters. This was just born from this idea of my OS, what if it didn't end where I ended up and while writing down just an idea, didn't know when it turned into outline for a full story. I am posting this and dedicating this entire story to my dearest without whom the idea would have never turned into a story. My Debo! Thank you for your love, support, motivation and kindness; this one is for you.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

It's the buzzing on his phone that brings Jitu back into the world of living, waking him up from his slumber. Opening only one eye he looks at the clock on his side table and it is flashing 09.19 am, groaning he closes his eye again not wanting to wake up just now. Buzz, then another buzz. Sighing and still half asleep he picks up the phone from side table to check what the hell is causing so much buzzing this morning. As he unlocks the phone screen and sees notification his eyes wide open and sleeping finally leaving his eyes.

**5 messages - Ayushmann**

Jitu wonders why would he message him and that so early? Well, it's early for him, so. His mind is going in all directions and before it drives him crazy Jitu opens the messages sent by Ayushmann.

 ** _'So... enjoyed the little concert last night?'_** His mind goes back to the Instagram live Ayushmann did last night, practising for the upcoming concert in Chandigarh. The concert even he was invited and he had declined; stupid move for sure or a wise one his mind still debating on that.

_**'Acha laga tha dekh kar ke tumne bhi live dekha. Mujhe toh laga soh gaye hoge.'** (I was glad you watched the live too. I thought you went to sleep.)_

**_'Sorry, tumhari request dekhi thi par play nahi kar saka. Reharsals thi toh list already prepared thi. Jukebox hota toh tumhari request toh sar ankhon par.'_ **Said the third text message and Jitu blinks in surprise. Yes, he did sent in a request but it wasn't a big deal he didn't even think Ayushmann would notice it but seems like he noticed and noticed a lot. _(Sorry, I couldn't fulfil your request. We were rehearsing so the list was already prepared. If I was a jukebox then your wish would be my command.)_

 ** _'Raat ko request nahi poori hoyi toh yeh lo ab poori karta hon.'_ **Jitu scrolls to next message curiously to find it as an audio message. 'He didn't,' goes through his head and his finger almost shakes as he clicks play. (I couldn't fulfil your request last night so here it is, I am fulfilling it now.)

Yes, this amazing man gone ahead and sung **'Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho'** just for Jitu and sent him in voice recording. He can detect the sleepiness in Ayushmann's voice as he is singing, it means he just sent this as soon he woke up. 'Pagal, bilkul hi pagal ho.' He does not stop the smile spreading across his face. He lies in his bed for a long time just replaying that recording over and over again. Somehow, this version just became his favourite. Because Ayushmann sung this just for him. He keeps smiling and listening to the audio that he forgets to reply.

 **'Kaisa laga? Ab khush?'** He receives another message and he realises he didn't even message him back. His fingers start moving even before he knows what to reply. (Did you like it? Happy now?)

 **'Bohut hi khush hon. Itna pyaara surprise. Thank you so much, Ayushmann.'** He replies back. _(I am so happy. What a lovely surprise. Thank you so much, Ayushmann.)_

 ** _'Perfect. :) It would have been nice if you could come for concert too, I know you would have enjoyed it. Anyways, good luck with you meeting.'_** The smile on Jitu's lips vanishes as he reads the text. **_'Meeting? What meeting?'_ **Did he forgot something before he can panic, he remembers he lied to Ayushmann when he had personally invited Jitu to come to Chanidargh for concert and Jitu had apologised his way out of it saying he had important meeting for his next project.

'Damn it.' He curses at himself just because panic rising within him due to his increasingly crush on Ayushmann, Jitu wanted some break from the man to sort out the mess he was finding himself. Now, he cannot stop thinking about the damn concert. Jitu spends most of the day working through his routine with the concert still in back of his mind.

When he finally lies down to sleep after finishing for the day the sleep does not come instead his mind keep going back to Ayushmann and the concert. He wants to go there, he wants to see Ayushmann again. He plays the voice note once again and hearing it makes him miss him more. They haven't seen each other for over a week since they finished the promotions as Ayushmann got busy with concert and Jitu took a bit of time to relax before starting his next project - on Kota Factory's Season 2 script.

It's his impulse that's make him do it. He had made up his mind and he was going to stick to it he had decided until he wakes up almost 3am and books the flight to Chandigarh. He only managed to get the flight that will get him there by 5pm, giving him enough time to make it to the concert. Jitu does not think he just does it and then goes back to sleep. He does not think when he prepares to leave for the airport, he does not think about his rash decision when he is on the plane; only when plane has landed in Chandigarh then Jitu realises what he has done but it is too late to turn back now. Jitu manages to make it to the concert just as it begins with Ayushmann already on the stage, he manages to get to the backstage thanks to Ayushmann's manager who is also surprised but happy to see him.

"Ayushmann ne bataya hi nahi tum arahe ho." That's when Jitu realises in his impulsive decision making he actually forgot to mention to Ayushmann he would be coming after all. _(Ayushmann did tell me you were coming.)_

"Woh... surprise hai." _(It's a surprise.)_

"Oh acha. Aao." He takes Jitu through backstage on the first floor balcony where Jitu can watch Ayushmann performing. Jitu is captivated by Ayushmann's performance and the response by the fan is overwhelming. He feels so happy and proud for his friend, not many are able accomplish what Ayushmann has been able to in last few years. The love and admiration keeps on growing for Ayushmann in hearts of fans and Jitu is his number one fan. The crowd's energy is increasing with each song, Ayushmann is setting the stage on fire with his performance. Then a surprise, Aparshakti, takes everyone by surprise when he joins his brother on stage, causing fans to go wild. Both of the brothers have a lot of fun with fans and perform for them for a bit and then Ayushmann has stage once more to himself. _(Oh okay. Come.)_

"Oh hey, Jitu!" Jitu turns to find himself face to face with Aparshakti.

"What a lovely surprise." They hug each other and Jitu smiles. "Haan... bas..." _(Yea.. actually...)_

"Acha howa agaye, bhai will be so happy to see you." Aparshakti cuts him, energy still radiating off him. Jitu almost blushes at this not knowing what to say to it. Thankfully he is saved from saying anything as just then Ayushmann's next song starts. _(It's good you came, bhai will be so happy to see you.)_

Aparshakti is in and out of green room but Jitu stays there enjoying the concert, his eyes not leaving Ayushmann for even a minute. He watches Ayushmann interacting with the fans in crowd with admiration. He has ability to make anyone feel so special just by even sending that lovely smile their way. No wonder group of fans go wild when he fixes his gaze, his smile on them.

Hours later finally concert is comes to end. Fans get sad when Ayushmann announces it's last song for the evening, they all once again get lost in his beautiful voice and when finally song ends, Ayushmann bids goodbye on stage, the fans still are not done, keep chanting ' _one more_ ,' and Jitu completely agrees with fans. He is also not ready for this beautiful evening to end. Sadly, it comes to an end when Ayushmann and entire band takes a bow, bidding a final goodbye they all leave the stage.

Jitu stands there a bit longer watching the crowd slowly starting to disappear after Ayushmann left the stage. He hears Ayushmann before he sees him; his laughter echoing through the narrow passage as he is making his way to his green room. Jitu doesn't even have time to prepare what he will say when Ayushmann barges in as he spots Jitu, Ayushmann's face goes through shock to confusion before settling with happiness.

"Jitu!"

"Hi." He manages to say before Ayushmann runs forward to hug him, Jitu closes his arms around him to hug him back unable to hold back the smile.

"Tum kab aye?" Ayushmann asks when they break apart. _(When did you come?)_

"Bas concert shuru hote hi." _(As soon the concert start.)_

"Bataya kyun nahi?" ( _Why didn't you tell me?)_

"Suprise." Jitu manages to say as he looks down and Ayushmann lets out a chuckle.

"So... enjoy kiya?" _(So... did you enjoy?)_

"Bohut zayada. You were perfect out there." Ayushmann blushes still reeling from the excitement of the concert. Ayushmann asks him about any plans for the night and Jitu shakes his head. They decide to go back to hotel once he is done from here to have dinner and catch up as Ayushmann's flight is early in the morning back to Mumbai. _(A lot. You were perfect out there.)_


	2. Chapter 2

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

**Chapter 2**

They go back to the hotel and Aparshakti, Ayushmann and Jitu along with the rest of their team get together for the dinner at the hotel restaurant. It is an quite an affair with everyone sharing their experience but also they were exhausted from the concert. After the dinner, everyone started to disappear to their rooms one by one leaving Jitu and Ayushmann at the dinner table.

"Kab flight hai tumhari?" Jitu asks Ayushmann. _(When is your flight?)_

"Subah hai 9am." _(In morning, 9am.)_

"Kaafi jaldi hai." _(It's quite soon.)_

"Haan... ghar jaane ki jaldi hai." Jitu smiles at this. Once dinner is out of the way, Ayushmann calls Jitu to join him back in his room to catch up for a while and Jitu happily accepts it. _(Yes, I am in hurry to go home.)_

"Tumhe toh araam karna chahiye, itne thak gaye ho." Jitu tells him despite accepting his invitation. _(You should rest, you must be quite tired.)_

"Koi baat nahi, araam bhi hojayega par humara catch up bhi zaroori hai. Itne dino se baat hi nahi hoyi." Jitu laughs at Ayushmann when he makes a pout at the end of this sentence. _(No worries, I can rest later, our catch up is more important. We haven't spoken in days.)_

"Arre... phone pe toh hoyi thi." _(Hey... we spoke on phone.)_

"Woh nahi, jaise hi film promotions khatam howe aik dum se sab aise busy howe ke hume toh milne ka bhi mauqa nahi mila." _(That doesn't count. As soon promotions were done, everyone got so busy that we didn't even had time to properly hang out.)_

"Haan woh toh hai. Bas promotions aur movie release sab kuch bohut..." Jitu tries to find right words but is unable to and Ayushmann gets it. _(Yea, I know. Movie release and promotions, everything was just...)_

"It was becoming too much. I know." Ayushmann finishes his sentence with a tired smile.

"Go freshen up first." Jitu tells Ayushmann who complies leaving Jitu to get comfortable on sofa trying to understand how the hell he ended up here. An hour later both of them are comfortably sitting on sofa and sharing with each other some of best fans responses they received over social media. The responses keep coming in such an overwhelming number taking both of them by surprise.

"Unbelievable. Socha nahi tha ke itna acha response milega aur itna zayada." Jitu is in awe causing Ayushmann to smile at Jitu. _(Unbelievable. Didn't thought, we'll get such a good response and so much.)_

"Mujhe pata tha." Jitu looks at Ayushmann who is looking at him with dreamy expression causing Jitu's heart to skip beat or two. _(I knew it.)_

"Kya pata tha?" _(What did you know?)_

"Ke aisa response milega. It is high time for Bollywood to actually include LGBTQ in the movies." _(That'll we'll get this response. It is high time in Bollywood to actually include LGBTQ in their movies.)_

"Har koi tumhari tarhan brave nahi hota." _(No one is brave like you.)_

"Aur tumhari tarhan." Ayushmann reminds Jitu without a moment of hesitation and Jitu blushes at that. _(And like you.)_

"Seriously, jo himmat tumne ki hai woh kisi aur mein nahi hai." Jitu's blush deepens and he looks away from Ayushmann not wanting the other man to see him like this. _(Seriously, the courage you have shown not everyone has that.)_

"Himmat bhi toh tumse ayi hai." Jitu mutters this more to himself than to other man but it clearly gets his attention. _(I got it from you.)_

"Hmm? Kaise?" _(Hmm.. how?)_

"Tumhare career graph itna inspirational hai toh of course, jab samne wala itni himmat wala ho toh himmat aa hi jaati hai." Now it's Ayushmann's turn to blush. He is used to all kinds of praises and most of them are just phrases but hearing from someone as honest as Jitu really makes him blush. _(Your career graph is quite inspirational so of course, when you are brave it gives me courage too just looking at you.)_

They continue discussing about the movie, the press and the promotions which caused Jitu to finally take sometime off and away from limelight, almost gone back to hiding in his cave.

"It was just too much too handle." Jitu remembers the promotion tours being more hectic and difficult than shooting the actual film.

"Main janta hon ke waqai hi tumhare liye kaafi mushkil hogaya hoga." _(I know that it must have been difficult for you.)_

"Toh kya tumhare liye yeh sab normal tha? Jo bhi press mein ho raha tha, promotions ke time? Woh log humesha se hi itne ignorant hain? Mujhe laga ke es subject pe honge." _(So what, it was all normal for you? Whatever was happening in press during promotions? Are they always this ignorant? I thought it was due to the nature of this subject.)_

"Haan usually aise hi ignorant hote hain lekin es bar es subject ko lekar toh aur bhi hogaye thay. Bas sabko spicy headline chahiye thi more than the content." Jitu remembers looking through some of their promotional interviews and could not even watch due to cringe, especially some had posted vidoes, interviews with click baiting titles. _(Yes, they usually ignorant but this time due to subject it seems they were being more ignorant. Everyone was after the spicy headline rather than the content.)_

"I am not happy with how promotions went." Ayushmann sighs as he remembers trying hard to fight over promotions but they had less say in what and how they can promote so they had to go with their contracts. Press tour was different but the extra promotions were too much.

"Mujhe yaad hai kitni baar tumne apna gussa control kiya howa tha." Jitu almost laughs remember few incidents where Ayushmann was ready to burst in anger due to person opposite them being complete ignorant about the subject. Jitu himself been on verge of loosing his cool few times but he maintained his calm as it was his first movie promotion so he let Ayushmann, Neena ji and Gajrao ji take the lead but the more promotions they did back to back the more tiresome it was becoming for him and he could see Ayushmann getting tired too. The repetition of their stories was getting too much, a lot of things were filtered. _(I remember how many times you had to control your anger.)_

"I know ke jaise chahte thay promotions waise nahi howay par dekho... logon ka response dekho." Ayushman gives a tired smile to Jitu and nods. Yes, the promotions didn't go as he wanted to but still the response has been so overwhelmingly positive so far. Ayushmann even wanted to have global reach for the promotions but a lot of people involved in the project did not wanted to take a risk with Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan with doing the global promotions and in the end, they did their best in their home promotions. Then getting the news about their film not be to released in UAE was really a disappointment for them. But this is the sad reality they live in and this is what Ayushmann was hoping to change. He might be a dreamer but he is also a realist; even Rome wasn't built in a day.

_(I know we weren't able to do promotions as want but still... look at people's response.)_

"Haan... par kash hum aur kar patay." This is exactly who Ayushmann is and one of the reasons Jitu couldn't help but to develop crush over him. Always wanting to do more, always giving his 300%, giving his heart, soul into his work that is helping bring a change. He wants to change the world for a better. First, Jitu had almost laughed but then he couldn't help himself from admiring this man for this. Industry is filled with awestruck and talent people yet this man sitting in front of him, this is the man who has started to break the stereotypes in the Bollywood Cinema. _(Yes, but I wish we could do more.)_

Jitu does what usually Ayushmann does when Jitu would be down or would need assurances. Jitu pulls Ayushmann in a side hug.

"Jo tumne kiya hai woh aur koi nahi kar paaya aajtak aur yeh bohut hi badi baat hai." Jitu tells Ayushmann with a soft smile on his face which is reflecting in his tone. "Theek hai promotions ne raita phila diya par movie toh bohut hi kuhbsooraat bani hai, haina?" Ayushmann let's out a chuckle at Jitu's response. Indeed, some promotions did more damage than good or as Jitu said 'raita phila diya' but in the end, they created something beautiful and it is being appreciated. They have a long road ahead but it's a good start. _(What you did no one has been able to do it till now and this is huge achievement for you. Okay, promotions were a mess but movie turned out beautifully, right?)_

Ayushmann sighs as he rests his head on Jitu's shoulder and let the tension bleed away from him meanwhile Jitu runs his hands through Ayushmann's back in circular motion to ease him.

"Thank you." Ayushmann tells him after the break apart.

"Soh jao." Ayushmann sees Jitu looking at him, really looking at him trying to read something through his face, his eyes. _(Get some sleep.)_

"Plane mein soh jaonga, abhi neend nahi ayi." Ayushmann replies as he holds Jitu's gaze bit longer than intended with lazy smile dancing on his lips. _(I'll sleep on plane, not sleepy right now.)_

Ayushmann does not go to sleep nor does Jitu as they continue to talk to each other throughout the night from jumping one topic to another, sharing laughs and then sharing their silences. The morning comes way too early for their liking but what can they do; they cannot control time especially when having such a wonderful time. Ayushmann gets ready for his flight while Jitu also freshens up and they have breakfast together before Ayushmann has to go and catch his flight.

They had such a wonderful time together and Ayushmann had missed that with Jitu. Jitu, his co-lead and now his one of closet friends and Ayushmann doesn't have many close friends but Jitu quickly won over him and Ayushmann couldn't be happier. Now as their time together is over for now, Ayushmann feels sad that morning came too early, silently wishing that had more time together. He knows that they will see each other again and soon but he wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet, not even knowing why.

"Tumhari flight kab hai?" Ayushmann doesn't remember Jitu telling him about his return. Jitu looks a bit taken aback at his enquiry. _(When is your flight?)_

"Woh... shaam ki hai." _(It's in evening.)_

"Shaam? Tum aaj Chindargh mein ho?" _(Evening? So you staying here?)_

"Haan, kuch kaam hai yahan." _(Yes, I have some work to do.)_

"Oh." A thought of missing a flight also crosses his mind but he quickly banishes it from his head but it unsettles him. But then Ayushmann hugs him tightly taking Jitu by surprise who happily returns the hug before he goes to board the plane.

Once settled on plane he still does not get wink of sleep as his mind goes back to last night. The promotions really did a toll on him and finally able to talk to Jitu and discuss everything has finally made him feel better than before. Jitu had quickly vanished as soon the promotions ended because he needed some time to get through this and Ayushmann can understand it completely but still he missed him and seeing him on concert last night made him beyond happy. He remembers Jitu's smiling face, his support and words make him realise that he needs this man in his life, his friendship means a lot.

A thought occurs to him, how Jitu attended the concert at the last minute. He had no idea or indication from Jitu that he would be attending even though Ayushmann had invited him but Jitu had declined because he had that weekend busy. 'What happened then? Why sudden change of plans.' He only remembers two nights ago when he was Instagram live and Jitu had commented asking him to play 'Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho.' He couldn't do it during the live and Jitu hadn't said anything but it kept bugging him until he finally sung it for him in the morning in a voice note and sent it to him. That was last their interaction and still Jitu hadn't said anything about attending the concert. 'Was he really trying to surprise me or was it a last minute decision?' Even though it's not a big deal and Ayushmann is truly happy that Jitu was there but the thought bugs him for the rest of his way home.

On the other side, Jitu gets back to his hotel to get some sleep but it does not come to him yet again, not surprising at all. Jitu wishes if they could get more time together but how to explain his selfish heart he already took a big risk coming to see Ayushmann here and he needs this man in his life, his friendship is way more precious than his stupid heart's wish. Jitu acted on impulse and that resulted in getting to spend time with Ayushmann between just the two of them and it seemed Ayushmann really needed that as they hadn't properly spoken since Jitu took off after the last promotions were done. His feelings, the promotions, media attentions, all were getting too much so he decided to get away for a bit and it helped until now.

All this time he spent with Ayushmann and all the time he spent away from him has made him realise one thing; his feelings are running deeper than a crush for his dear friend. And that's a revelation in itself and shocks Jitu to core, he decides there and then, this cannot go on any further. He needs to put a stop to this nonsense so he does what any sane person would do, or so, he thought. He decides to distance himself from Ayushmann for good.


	3. Chapter 3

**HEARTSTRINGS: Jitu/Ayushmann**

Ayushmann is finally home; his home sweet home. He literally sweeps his lovely wife off her feet hugging her tightly.

"Welcome home, hubby dearest."

"Thank you, my wifey." He pecks her on lips before setting her down once more.

"Concert kaisa tha?" _(How was the concert?)_

"Bohut hi zabardast, bohut hi maza aya tha." _(It was amazing, we had loads of fun.)_

"Haan, tumhare Insta se pata lag raha tha ke tumne aur Aparshakti ne jo dhoom maccha di." Ayushmann laughs at this. _(Yes, I could see that through your Insta how much you and Aparshakti were having fun.)_

"Jealous?" Ayushmann lifts her eyebrow up with smirk on his face.

"Hah! You wish. I can get private concert anytime I want." She winks right back making Ayushmann laugh meanwhile she looks at him closely.

"Your eyes are damn red, soye nahi?" Ayushmann shakes his head. _(Your eyes are damn red, haven't slept?)_

"Kyun?" _(Why?)_

"Arre, kal aik aur suprise mila." _(Hey, I got another surprise yesterday.)_

"Kaisa surprise?" _(What surprise?)_

"Guess what, Jitu aya tha concert pe." Ayushmann tells her excitedly. _(Guess what, Jitu came for the concert yesterday.)_

"What? Really? Par woh toh..." _(What? Really? But I thought he...)_

"Haan, even I was surprised. Mujhe concert ke baad pata chala, woh aya tha, greenroom se concert enjoy kiya." Tahira can see how suddenly he is excited and she smiles. _(Yes, even I was surprised. I got to know after the concert that he was there and saw the concert from the greenroom.)_

"That's really good. I know you were missing him, acha howa he came." _(That's really good. I know you were missing him. It's good he came.)_

"Haan bilkul, promotions ke baad toh aise bhaag gaya ke jaise ab nahi milega. Kal phir uske saath catch up karte karte time ka pata hi nahi chala." Tahira has a knowing smile on her face.

_(Yes absolutely, he vanished after the promotions. Then yesterday we spent time catching up and didn't realise the time passing so quickly.)_

"Kya?" _(What?)_

"Kuch nahi... jakar rest karlo warna thori hi dair mein vampire lagne lagoge." Hearing that Ayushmann turns his face to mimic vampire as he proceeds towards her and she just laughs and let herself pulled into hug. _(Nothing... go get some rest or else, you will look like a vampire in no time.)_

"Go get some sleep." She pecks him on his lips as she pulls away and pushing Ayushmann towards the bedroom. As he walks away Tahira can see how much lighter Ayushmann currently feels, it seems like a certain burden has been lifted. She knew how close Ayushmann got to Jitu during SMZS and she was glad Ayushmann had someone like Jitu on whom he could count on. Ayushmann didn't had many true friends but Jitu seemed the changed that. Then Jitu getting away from them as soon as promotions were done had kind of made Ayushmann feel bit upset but they gave him space because she can imagine how much it was for Jitu as well.

The promotions took toll on all of them but especially on Ayushmann and Jitu and she knew her husband had been carrying that burden but not today. It seems like seeing Jitu finally helped Ayushmann unload that burden and for that she is thankful for Jitu. But deep down she has this strange feeling that promotions were not the only reason due to which Jitu distanced himself, there is something else and she has an inclination what that could be.

That evening Jitu is back in Mumbai with the decision to maintain his distance from Ayushmann's life and focus on his future, his career. He has decided not to give into his impulsive behaviour and locking away his feelings for Ayushmann deep down so maybe he can forget about them. Jitu jumps into his next project, his baby - Kota Factory. He starts to draw outline for the season 2 script, this is the best time. Jitu isolates himself as he becomes to plan the season 2 because that's how he works best when it comes to writing - isolation.

On the other hand Ayushmann takes some time off to spend at home with his family as he has been away for quite sometime during Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan. But he doesn't get much time off as he already got few scripts on his table and another project starting soon. He let those scripts sit on his table for bit longer and continues to enjoy quiet days at home.

Ayushmann sends message to Jitu checking up on him as before but he doesn't receive response like before. In last 2 weeks since their meeting in Chanfigarh Jitu had seem to vanish back into his cave, not even being too active on social media and his responses are minimal too which caused Ayushmann worry but he just gives it time thinking maybe Jitu is busy. Ayushmann does not let it affect him but it surely sticks with him, making him wonder why would Jitu all of sudden reacting like this.

Jitu's decision to maintain distance from Ayushmann almost crumbles as soon he gets first text from the man yet he is determined so he keeps his replies to short. But Ayushmann's messages do keep coming in every other day to check up on him, sometimes just a link about movie, some days a quick how are you? And Jitu's replies are still short but now he does not respond quickly and eagerly even though his fingers almost moving on their own accord but he stops himself on time. He would reply after sometime a short fine or a smiley face.

Even though Jitu has isolated himself to work on Kota Factory script but he keeps in touch with Gajraj Rao and Maanvi from time to time. But mostly staying put and working and when he isn't working his mind is occupied with Ayushmann - he is always at the back of his mind even maintaining his distance isn't helping Jitu especially when he has social media to stalk Ayushmann Khuranna. He is not stalking, nope, he is more like keeping up to date with Ayushmann and seeing him happy and all the appreciation he is getting makes Jitu so happy and proud of him.

Many times he would feel an impulse to just pick up the phone and call him but he doesn't. Trying not to think about him does the opposite. It seems that Ayushmann has permanently has found his place in Jitu's mind and heart that's why he is always there.

One evening Jitu is sitting comfortably on his desk working on Kota Factory script, it is finally getting somewhere, last few weeks have been struggle but he is finally getting through somewhere. His phone rings as he is reading his draft so he does not pay attention but it does not stop ringing and it is annoying him so he picks it up without looking who is calling.

"Hello?" Jitu says bit loudly.

"Wow, finally, zinda ho." He would recognise this voice anywhere. _(Wow, finally, you're alive.)_

"Ayush..."

"Mann.." "Ayush... yeh acha hai." Jitu doesn't even know when his mind started to call Ayushmann as Ayush and now he just said that out loud for the first time to the same man. Ayushmann starts laughing lighly and Jitu wants to hang up in embarrassment. _(Ayush... this is nice.)_

"Lagta hai dihaan kahin aur hai." _(Seems like your mind is somewhere else.)_

"Haan woh Kota Factory ki script pe kaam kar raha hon." _(Yes, I am working on Kota Factory's script.)_

"Oh. Toh shayad ghalat waqt pe phone karliya. Main rakhta h.." _(Oh. Then maybe I called at wrong time. I'll hang up...)_

"Nahi!" Jitu exclaims bit loudly and further embarrassing himself but he cannot let him hang up now he has heard the voice he was longing to hear for sometime. "Mera matlab koi nahi, baat karte hain."

_(No! I didn't mean that, we can talk.)_

"Acha yaani ab baat karni hai tumhe?" Accusation in his tone is clear and Jitu wants to pretend that he doesn't know what Ayushmann means but he knows. The other man is talking about Jitu purposely ignoring Ayushmann since the concert. "Too busy" to return texts or calls which he has missed on purpose and later replied with an apology. _(Okay, so now you want to talk?)_

"Kaise ho?" Jitu asks diverting the question trying to pretend once more but seems like it doesn't do well with the other man as he meets with long silence and Jitu's heart sinks thinking Ayushmann hung up on him. _(How are you?)_

"Hello?"

"Haan.. theek hon. Tu suna kaisa hai? Kahan gayab hai?" He is relieved that Ayushmann didn't hung up but again he throws in the question and Jitu knows he will need to answer him eventually. He tries to keep his heart steady. _(Yea.. I am fine. You tell how are you? Where did you vanish?)_

"Haan... theek hon. Bas kaafi busy hon woh..." (Yea... I'm okay. It's just been quite busy...) 

"Haan ji, ab Jitu ji toh humare liye bhi bohut busy hogayein hain." _(Yes of course, now Jitu ji is too busy for us.)_

"Aisi baat nahi hai, yaar. Bas woh Kota Factory pe kaam chal raha hai, kaafi pressure bhi hai toh esi liye... I'm sorry." Jitu feels bad for his behaviour and he is sincerely sorry but he doesn't know how to explain to other man that how important it is for all of them that Jitu keeps his distance. _(It's not like this, yaar. It's just working on Kota Factory's script, I'm under a lot of pressure that's why... I am sorry.)_

"Chal chod. Hojata hai aise. Mujhe laga ke..." _(Forget it. It happens. I just thought...)_

"Kya laga?" _(What?)_

"Mujhe laga ke shayad film khatam toh... dosti bhi." Ayushmann adds reluctantly after pausing for a moment. (I just thought maybe that now film is over so... maybe our friendship is over too.)

"Dimaag kharab hai kya tera?" Jitu is too shocked and is unable to hold back his anger. He doesn't know whether to be angry at Ayush for even thinking that or be angry at himself for causing this man to think that Jitu would take advantage of him like this. In that moment he makes a vow to himself, he will never let Ayush feel this way ever again, he will endure heartache but cannot see this man like this. _(Are you out of your mind?)_

"Dobara aisa socha bhi na toh..." Ayush stays silent but Jitu doesn't miss a sigh of relief. _(Don't you even dare to think like this again.)_

"I'm genuinely sorry, Ayushmann. Kaam mein aisa busy howa, pata hai na jab writing process mein hota hon toh aik aur hi zone hota hai. Dobara aisa nahi hoga." _(I'm genuinely sorry, Ayushmann. I was busy with work, you know once in writing process I'm in different zone. It'll not happen again.)_

"Theek hai, yaar. I'm sorry too, pata nahi mujhe kya hogaya tha jo aise socha. Jaanta hon tu aise nahi hai." Jitu knows the harsh reality of their industry it's not hidden from anyone but realising that Ayushmann been through that cycle is really hurting Jitu and he wants to do nothing but run to him and hold him tightly in his arms and keep him there until he assures the other man thoroughly that he will never hurt him or ever let anyone hurt him like this again. _(It's okay, yaar. I'm sorry too, I don't know what came over me that I thought like this. I know you are not like this.)_

Sensing conversation turning into more serious side, Ayushmann tries to change the subject. Jitu wants to ask him more as he can sense something is more going on but he lets it slide and goes into details about his upcoming season on Kota Factory. Once he narrates it to Ayushmann who listens to him attentively.

"Wow... eska matlab bohut hi zabardast hone wala hai yeh season." Ayushmann says in awe. _(Wow, it means the next season will be awesome.)_

"Kya zabardast abhi toh script pe kaam bohut baaki hai." _(What awesome? The script is still incomplete.)_

"Toh kya howa. Itna hogaya hai toh khatam bhi hojayega." He assures Jitu who feels bit more confident and motivated and then a thought hits him. _(So what? you have come this far, you'll get to end too.)_

"Wait... tune Kota Factory dekha hai?" Ayushmann lets out a chuckle at Jitu's question. _(Wait... you have seen Kota Factory?)_

"Of course."

"Kab?" There is a silence for a minute. _(When?)_

"Aajkal thora free tha toh dekh liya." Ayushmann replies sheepishly and Jitu can feel the butterflies fluttering in his stomach. "Mera aik bohut favourite character hai usme." _(I had bit of time on my hands recently so I saw it. I have a favourite character in it.)_

"Konsa?" Jitu's excitement is so audible it makes Ayushmann almost burst into laughter but he holds it in and pretends to think. _(Which one?)_

"Hmm..."

"Ayush... yaar." Ayush, there it is again and it feels that Jitu doesn't even realise he is doing that, like it's a habit of him to call Ayushmann as Ayush and of course Ayushmann is intrigued by it.

"Jeetu bhaiya." He finally replies after he is sure that Jitu is dying to hear it and he is right because the next moment Jitu goes quite and Ayushmann can feel his blush through the phone. He knows Jitu wouldn't believe him so he goes into great detail telling him why 'Jeetu bhaiya' is his favourite character and everything else he enjoyed about Kota Factory. From there, Jitu continues to tell him how it all begun and Ayushmann stays there listening to Jitu talking passionately talk about Kota Factory and feels so proud of him. They carry on back and fourth discussing on upcoming projects without realising they have been chatting for almost 2 hours. Finally, Ayushmann has to go and Jitu bids goodbye with a smile and a promise to stay in touch regularly and this time meaning it.

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I hope you'll enjoyed it. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texts, phone calls, SMZS discussion.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Since that phone call there is a shift in their routine now. Both stay in touch regularly despite the fact both of them live in same city but on other side so they are not able to meet as often. Also maybe because both of them are starting to get busy with next project. But, those days are gone where Jitu was trying to distance himself from Ayushmann. Since the last call he realised how much his action had hurt the other man who considers him a dear friend Jitu makes sure to stay in touch regularly and not to hurt Ayushmann yet again. He is glad Ayushmann did not press him further on his cold behaviour he just forgave and carried on like nothing happened.

It does not help Jitu with his feelings towards Ayushmann rather they are getting more deeper but he decides to stay mum about it and carry on being the friend Ayushmann needs and deserves. He rather have him as a dear friend than not having him in his life at all. That is something Jitu will not be able to live with, he needs this man in his life and there is that. The text changes were part of their daily routines and then there would be calls from time to time lasting between few minutes to sometimes lasting for hours where they would end up talking about nothing and everything.

Ayushmann finally starts going the scripts sitting on his desk for weeks meanwhile his next movie is going into post-production phase and he knows that'll be keeping him busy for sometime. There are quite few scripts but not many of them are as interesting as he wants but then, he finally finds it, his next role, next challenge which came his way, the next daring role; he finally found it. As soon he finishes the script he makes the call to say yes to the role.

After the call he also sends the quick text to Jitu knowing very well he must be sleeping but that does not stop him from sending him text at this hour.

' **Finally mil gayi.** ' _(Finally found it.)_

' **Kya gum gaya jo ab mila?'** Ayushmann snorts knowing that Jitu must be half sleep and still can't resist teasing him. ( _What did you lost that you finally found it?)_

' **Kya yaar... script mil gayi hai.** ' _(What yaar... I found the script.)_

' **Wow, congratulations!'** Ayushmann smiles.

**'Thank you.'**

' **Now let me sleep you owl,'** is the next text from Jitu that he receives.

 **'Good night, good dreams.'** He sends another text unable to resist teasing Jitu once more.

'Let me sleep!' He gets another reply and Ayushmann laughs and finally decides that he had enough so he lets Jitu sleep and finally heading to bed where Tahira was sleeping. He has the urge to wake her up to tell her about the script but as he sees her sleeping so peacefully he lets her sleep and settles himself around her and goes to sleep.

Life goes on with Jitu almost finishing his script for Kota Factory and Ayushmann getting busy with current project while preparing for next project despite their lives being busy again they still do not lose contact in fact the frequency of their calls increase and texts are must in their daily routine at least one text to check up on each other.

Meanwhile, Jitu was getting some roles offered but they were not that great so he gave them up and continued to work on TVF. But deep down the lingering fear of being type cast was not leaving him. But then Ayushmann is there to assure him.

"Aisa nahi hai Jitu, dekhna bohut hi achi script ayegi tumhari taraf bas thora patient raho." _(It's not like that, Jitu, just wait and watch a good script will come your way just be patient.)_

"Jaanta hon par aik darr bhi hai." _(I know but I still have that fear.)_

"Main jaanta hon, samajhta hon kyunki main bhi guzar chuka hon esay esi liye keh raha hon." _(I know and I understand because I have been through this phase before and that's why I am telling you.)_

"Aisa nahi hai ke kaam nahi hai woh toh kaafi hai lekin..." _(It's not like I don't have work, but... )_

"I know yeh phase thora depressing hota hai par yeh bhi guzar jayega dekhna." Ayushmann's positive words help calm down Jitu a bit. _(I know this phase is depressing but this will pass too.)_

At the same time the love and appreciation for Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan does not stop pouring in. Every time Jitu hears how that movie helped someone, he would tear up. He can see the personal growth he had since the movie. It was a big move to accept the role of Aman Tripathi but when he got the script Jitu knew deep down he will not be able to say no to this, especially when Ayushmann Khuranna is playing Kartik Singh opposite him. From saying yes till the movie release Jitu always had a fear about how film will do but he kept faith in the team and in Ayushmann and he is glad to see that has proven right. The movie is still doing quite well and there are loud and proud demands for a sequel or prequel, fans don't mind as long 'Jitushmann' would grace their screens once again.

Once Jitu gets this idea he is unable to shake it off from his mind about the second part to their movie. He thinks about it and decides to discuss with Ayushmann and see what he thinks about it. So during their next phone call, Jitu shares this with Ayushmann who tells him that he also have been getting similar requests from the fans all over.

"Toh phir? Tujhe kya lagta hai? Kya Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan sequel possible hai?" Jitu asks him in a hopeful voice. _(Then? What you think? Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan will have a sequel?)_

"Yaar, maine Hitesh se poocha tha aur filhaal toh uska kehna hai ke agar kuch acha idea mile toh shayad sequel nahi par prequel toh ban hi sakta hai." Jitu feels giddy hearing this but he controls himself. _(Yaar, I have spoken to Hiten and so far he is saying there isn't a plan for it yet, if he gets a good idea then maybe a prequel is possible rather than a sequel.)_

"Agar prequel hai toh phir toh idea already hai na?" _(If it's a prequel then we already have an idea.)_

"Konsa idea?" _(Which idea?)_

"Arre, Kartik aur Aman ki story, unki back story, unki love story." A blush rises through him as he thinks about their, not their but Aman and Kartik's possible story. _(Kartik & Aman's story, their back story, their love story.)_

"Haan woh toh hai..." Ayushmann replies slowly. _(Yes, this is true.)_

"Toh?" _(Then?)_

"Toh kya, sab Hitesh pe depend karta hai." Ayushmann replies slightly dejected. _(Then what, it all depends on Hitesh.)_

"Haan, soh toh hai." Jitu sighs. _(Yes, you are right.)_

"Aur waise bhi abhi toh film ayi hai aur hum dono ke aurr bhi projects hain, dekhte hain saal do saal mein." Jitu feels heart tightening in his chest hearing about a possibility which might or might not happen, that too would take years. (And the film just release and we both have other projects to occupy us currently, let's just wait and see what happens in a year or two.)

After that conversation they don't discuss about SMZS's sequel or prequel but still that conversation leaves a mark on them. Ayushmann was surprised when Jitu brought it up and to be honest, he was himself has been pondering over it and of course, with such an overwhelming response he did want to do another movie and he did discuss with Hitesh about it but Hitesh not had any plans for it yet and somehow it caused unease for Ayushmann knowing there is no possibility but then Hitesh indicated there might be a possibility for a prequel but not anytime soon, not unless they have a really good idea for it.

Even though they had backstory for Kartik and Aman but still needed a fresh idea for it. He was surprised when Jitu mentioned about it, Ayushmann was happy that Jitu wants it as much as he wants it but sadly they need to wait for it. He does want to work with Jitu again, he misses working with him. They had a different level of comfort and understanding which you rarely get. Like he had with Bhumi and now Jitu, but it's still different when it comes to Jitu. Maybe, he can find a way for them to work in different project, at least he hopes so.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short chapter but I am gearing up for some interesting stuff for upcoming chapters... I hope you'll still enjoyed it. I know it's a bit filler chapter but... it's going to get interesting. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan's success party! Meetings, confrontations!

So here's the next chapter and gosh... almost 3000 words! Enjoy you all. It's going to be an interesting ride moving forward. Also, Added English translations to previous chapters as well.

* * *

**Heartstrings::Jitu/Ayushmann**

A month after Ayushmann said yes to his next script the preparations begins for his next project and Gulaabo Sitabo's post-production is nearing towards the end and he is gearing up for the promotions once again. Amongst this busy time he is surprised to get invitation by Neena Gupta gathering team of Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan to celebrate the success for the movie.

"Kaise ho, Ayushmann?" _(How are you, Ayushmann?)_

"Main theek hon, aap kaisi hain, Neena ji?" _(I'm good, how are you, Neena Ji?)_

"Bohut achi, as always." Ayushmann chuckles at this. _(I'm great, as always.)_

"Acha jis liye phone kiya hai woh toh bata don." _(Okay so I have called with for something important.)_

"Ji." _(Yes.)_

"Maine Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan ki success party host ki hai apne ghar. Zayada log nahi bas apni hi team hai, itne time se sab mile nahi toh socha yeh acha mauqa hai. Saturday ko hai shaam mein." _(I am hosting success party for Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan and invited our team. We haven't got together for quite sometime so thought this is a good opportunity. It's on Saturday evening.)_

"That's great, Neena ji, par..." _(That's great, Neena ji, but...)_

"Dekho yeh par var mere saath mat karo." _(Look, I will not hear ifs and buts.)_

"Neena ji aap toh jaanti hain ke Gulaabo Sitabo ki promotion start ho rahi hai aur next project bhi." _(Neena ji, you know that Gulaabo Sitabo's promotions are starting and I'm also starting work on next project.)_

"Ayushmann... tumhare bina..." _(Ayushmann, with you...)_

"Main jaanta hon par..." _(I know but...)_

"Chalo theek hai." Neena sighs and Ayushmann knows she is disappointed which he did not want her to. _(Okay, that's alright.)_

"Main koshish zaroor karonga par waada nahi kar sakta." _(I'll try my best but I can't promise.)_

"Theek hai." She smiles at this, even though she is disappointed a bit but also understands the pressure of work on Ayushmann, so she says he will have to make up for it and he agrees for sure before they bid goodbye. _(That's okay.)_

Jitu is finally feeling relaxed in a while as he looks at his first completed draft of Kota Factory S2. It's finally done and he can finally breathe. He has meeting with the team soon to finally get the S2 of Kota Factory on floor soon. He gets surprised when he gets call from Neena Gupta, for the invitation of the party.

"Main na ayon aisa kaise ho sakta hai, Neena ji." _(How is it possible that I don't come, Neena ji?)_

"Chalo at least humara 1 beta toh hoga." _(That's good, at least 1 of our son will be there.)_

"Matlab? Ayush...mann nahi aaraha?" During the movie they all became like a family and Neena would treat both of them as her sons just like in the movie, well, not exactly like the movie but still; that's why Jitu knows instantly who she is talking about. _(Meaning? Ayush...mann isn't coming?)_

"Nahi, lagta nahi hai, kyunki uski next film ki promotions shuru hone wali hai na." _(No, it does not seem like he will come as his film's promotions are starting.)_

"Oh. Haan uske liye toh kaafi busy time hoga." He can see Neena ji is sad over this and so is Jitu. When he heard about the party, he just hoped this will be another chance to meet Ayushmann and everyone else too but he feels disappointment seeping in when he hears he will not be there. _(Oh. Then indeed it must be quite the busy time for him.)_

"Koi baat nahi, main hon na. Dekhna bohut hungama kareinge aur baad mein usko jealous kareinge." He is successful in making Neena laugh at this finally bit of sadness fading away. After they hang up, Jitu is actually excited to see their Zyada Saavdhan family once again. _(No worries, i'm here. Just wait and watch, we will have so much fun and we will make him jealous.)_

On the day when party is held, Ayushmann's mind keeps going on to the party as he is busy with work but his heart is not fully into it. It shouldn't be a big deal but somehow missing out on this party is hurting him more than he imagined and he has no idea why but he knows he really wants to meet the gang again. His phone's notifications keep blowing up as the time for party is near with everyone updating him about the party making him feel more sad for missing out, he really wants to go there instead of sitting in the a damn room working on promotions. For the first time, he is feeling low with his heart not there at all.

"Tumhe kisi ne nahi roka, chale jao na party par." Tahira tells him when he speaks to her for 5th time in a day and whole day she has been hearing about the party and sensing how much he wants to be there. _(No one is stopping you, go to the party.)_

"Par kaam..." _(But work...)_

"Kal bhi ho sakta." A bit of encouragement from Tahira helps him and finally he decides that enough of mopping around and time to take action. He reschedules after literally requesting everyone, for tomorrow early morning before heading home to get ready for party on the way he lets Tahira knows about the plans and asks her if she is in mood for party as well and she is happy to go with him even she was missing the gang. _(It can be done tomorrow as well.)_

Once they get to the party, Ayushmann finds almost everyone has gathered there. He feels so good to be reunited with team once again.

They all welcome him and are so happy to see him and Tahira. Neena ji pulls his ears for his dramatics but then hugs him tightly. One by one he manages to find everyone from the team greeting them so happily.

"Finally mehfil mein rang jamane wala agaya." Chadha teases Ayushmann who blushes at that. _(Finally the life of party is here.)_

"Toh kya hum kam hai kya?" Gajraj ji replies to Chadha and they all share a good laugh. Meanwhile, Ayushmann keeps looking around trying to find someone but is not able to see him. _(So we are not enough?)_

"Kisse dhoond rahe ho?" Gajraj ji asks him. _(Who are you looking for?)_

"Jitu nahi aya?" _(Jitu didn't come?)_

"Arre aya hai na... abhi toh yahin tha." Gajraj sir replies looking around and then suddenly calls Neena. _(Yes, he did come... he was just here.)_

"Neena ji, Jitu kahan hai?" Ayushmann almost winces, he didn't wanted to draw attention to it. "Woh shayad terrace pe gaya hai phone call receive karna." Receiving his answer, Ayushmann quietly slips away to find Jitu. _(Neena ji, where is Jitu?) (He's probably on terrace receiving a phone call.)_

Jitu was on the phone when Ayushmann finally found him on terrace as soon Jitu feels someone feels behind him, he turns and is frozen in his place. Ayushmann is right in front of him, looking at beautiful and hot as ever. He is smiling at him and Jitu's heart almost stomach, Ayushmann doesn't say anything but he gestures towards him. Jitu looks closely and remembers he is on the phone and Ayushmann is reminding him of that. Recovering, he hangs up saying 'I'll call you back later.' As soon he hangs up, Ayushmann moves forward and wraps him in his arms, hugging him tightly. Jitu's hands freeze as he tries to remember how to respond and finally his arms moves on his back and hugs him back tightly. He just melts into this hug. He missed this, hugging Ayushmann, seeing him there, feeling him; not really wanting to but they break away from hug.

"Kaisa hai?" _(How are you?)_

"Tu toh nahi anay wala tha?" _(I thought you weren't coming?)_

They both speak at the same time and Jitu feels his cheeks warming as blush spreads his face. He didn't meant to but this was first thing on his mind. Because he was highly disappointed when he heard Ayushmann wouldn't be able to make it but now seeing him here, Jitu cannot believe it. Ayushmann laughs at his question, eyes dancing mischievously.

"Dukhi hogaya ke main agaya?" _(You are sad that I am here?)_

"Arre nahi... pagal hai kya? Main toh..." _(Of course not... are you mad? I was just...)_

"Pichli baar tumne surprise de diya toh maine socha es bar main surprise kardon sabko." Jitu's blush deepens when Ayushmann reminds him about the concert, they never brought it up in their phone calls or messages, ever. There seemed to be an unspoken rule about not talking about Chandigarh. _(Last time you surprised me so I thought t surprise you this time.)_

"Chal bata... kaisa hai?" Ayushmann stirs conversation to safe side seeing Jitu zoning away. _(Anyways tell me, how are you?)_

"Haan theek hon.. tum kaise ho?" _(Yes, I am okay... how are you?)_

"Acha hon par abhi bohut thaka hon." Jitu just looks at him with amused expressions. _(I'm okay but very tired.)_

"Arre wah... yeh toh rhyme hai. Kya thought hai." Ayushmann says as his hands mimic 'wah wah', they both laugh at this and just like that they fall into their routine how they used to be on set together. _(Wow, this rhymes. What a thought.)_

The party goes on and everyone is having a blast and then Jitu meets with Tahira when she finally corners him pulling him in a hug.

"Kahan gayab ho?" _(Where did you vanish off to?)_

"Nahi... toh bas woh main." He almost stutters trying to understand what she is talking about and Tahira chuckles at him. _(No... I was just...)_

"Jabse movie promotions hogaye tum toh gayab hi hogaye. Aao, kabhi ghar bhi ayo." _(Since the promotions you have been vanished. Come, to our house as well someday.)_

"Nahi woh, bas Kota Factory ki script pe kaam kar raha tha toh kaafi busy tha." _(It's not like that, I have been busy with Kota Factory's script.)_

"Haan Ayushmann bata rahe thay. Bohut miss karte hain tumhe." Jitu's heart almost stops at this, he isn't sure whether Tahira is genuinely saying this or is she testing him. He looks at her and manages to smile not knowing what to say to the wife of man he has harbouring feelings for. (Yes, Ayushmann was telling me about it. He misses you a lot.)

"Waise Chindagrh tak jaa sakte ho aur ik hi shehr mein hote howe ghar nahi aa sakte." Jitu's face almost loses colour at this. _(By the way you can go all the way to Chindigarh to see him and despite being in same city can't come to our home.)_

"I am really sorry," slips from his tongue.

"For what? Main toh itna hi keh rahi hon ke Ayushmann ke liye tum bohut special ho aur bohut time baad aik aisa dost mila hai unhe. He cares a lot about you, so please don't hurt him. Okay?" With this she goes back to her husband leaving Jitu in shock as he processes Tahira's words not knowing what to make of them. 'Does she know?' The thought almost gives him a heart attack right there but he manages to stay on his feet as he tries to rationalise it. _(For what? I am just saying you are quite special for Ayushmann, after quite a long time he has found a friend like you. He cares a lot about you, so please don't hurt him.)_

He knows and seen Ayushmann and Tahira's relationship, how close they are and how open they are with each other which is admirable. Of course, Tahira knows him being in Chandigarh, she knows how much he and Ayushmann stay in contact yet her words feel genuine and just worried about her husband getting hurt. But by what? Him? He will never hurt Ayushmann; he cannot imagine to do that rather he stay quiet and burn with his own feelings than open up about them. Or maybe she had seen when he had distanced himself from them after the movie and was talking about that.

During the movie they all became so good friends and Jitu leaving them as soon promotions were done would of course cause an alarm. He has been more in touch with Gajraj ji and Maanvi of course as they are also TVF family but with others he does feel guilty about not keeping in touch a lot, apart from Ayushmann. His head is spinning with everything going through his mind making him feel so uncertain about everything.

"Kya dukhi ghazal wala expression lekar baitha hai... party hai, kuch toh enjoy kar." When he comes back realises that Maanvi has joined him. _(Why are you sitting here with sad song's expressions... it's a party, let's enjoy it.)_

"Kuch nahi, yaar." _(It's nothing, yaar.)_

"Nahi.. koi bahana nahi aur sad hona toh not allowed hai." Saying this Maanvi drags Jitu to life of party, on dance floor. _(Nope... no excuse and you are not allowed to be sad.)_

"Make space everyone... ab humare beech Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan ke sabse best dancer arahe hain apna jalwa dikhane." Jitu just wants ground to open up and swallow him up. _(Make some space everyone... now we have between us the best dancer of Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan who will take the floor.)_

"Kya kar rahi hai?" Jitu whispers trying to get away from dance floor but as he turns, Ayushmann standing in front of him with his trademark smile. _(What are you doing?)_

"Aik dance to h banta hi hai, Jitu ji..." _(You owe us at least one dance, Jitu ji.)_

"I'll kill you." He mouths to Ayushmann who laughs loudly and drags him back on dance floor.

Jitu tries hard to get out of dance but between Maanvi and Ayushmann he is trapped and soon everyone starts cheering for Jitu.

"Come on." Ayushmann gestures him but Jitu is reluctant but then cheering gets louder and suddenly 'Array Pyaar Karle' song starts to play and Ayushmann and Maanvi cheer. In the end, Jitu gives in and Ayushmann joins him on the dance floor and they do their iconic steps on the song.

At some point Hitesh also makes speech thanking everyone getting involve in this project and making it what it is today. They all talk about all the love and appreciation they are still getting over the movie and feel thankful to be part of project. Rest of night is spent enjoying the party at some point people start leaving. When Jitu tries to slip away bit goodbye, Ayushmann catches him.

"Abhi jaa rahe ho?" _(You are leaving now?)_

"Haan kaafi late hogaya hai aur..." _(It's very late and...)_

"Kya yaar, itni jaldi." Ayushmann whines and Jitu looks at his watch, it's almost 4 in the morning. _(What yaar, so soon?)_

"Subah ke 4 baje jaldi hain?" Ayushmann rolls his eyes. _(4am in the morning is soon?)_

"Aur tumhe bhi toh promotions ke liye jana hai. Bhool gaye?" It seems he almost did forgot because as it hits him, Ayushmann face palms himself and Jitu laughs. _(And you have promotions in the morning. You forgot?)_

"Itna enjoy kar raha tha ke yaad hi nahi raha." Ayushmann has this look on his face and Jitu is sure his face is mirroring that look. _(I was enjoying so much that it slipped out of my mind.)_

Haan, enjoy toh bohut kiya. Acha laga... hum sab phirse aik saath howe. Miss kar raha tha bohut." _(Yes, I have enjoyed a lot. It felt good... that we all got together once again. I was missing it.)_

"Main bhi." Jitu heart skips a beat as Ayushmann whispers lightly somehow this confession seems private. _(Me too.)_

"I'm glad you came." The words fall from Jitu's mouth before he can filter them, he doesn't know why he is unable to control himself in front of this man.

"Me too." Ayushmann unaware of inner battle going on within Jitu whispers yet again with a pure heart warming smile.

"Chal... phir mileinge." Jitu wants to leave before he can cause anymore damage. _(Come on... we will meet again.)_

"Haan... phir mileinge." Ayushmann replies and this time Jitu initiates the hug. They hold onto each other just a second longer before breaking away, bidding goodbye, Jitu finally leaves. _(Yes... we will meet again.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how was it? ;) Just a teaser about next chapter, it's going to be very interesting with bit of flashbacks. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath, thoughts, first meetings.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Jitu gets home completely drained yet still buzzing with the happiness and excitement of the party. Ayushmann being there was a surprise but what a wonderful surprise it was. Seeing him yet again after the concert had really made Jitu so happy he could not explain. But then he remembers his encounter with Tahira in the party which left him unsettled. He just cannot shake off the feeling that Tahira knows and that is making him want to be swallowed whole by earth. Of course, he is not sure, it is possible he is overreacting but the way Tahira confronted him he just felt that she knew something but then the way she has been towards him, friendly and so happy seeing him Ayushmann happy, Jitu does not know what to think of it.

His mind once again goes back to Ayushmann and how much fun they had, he is indeed the life of the party. The way he lights up entire room by just his presence and Jitu craves to be under those lit eyes so full of life and love. They danced together once again and Jitu is unable to get that out of his head. Jitu knows he isn't the good dancer out there or barely a dancer but still how Ayushmann manages to make him dance to his tune with just one look he will not be able to understand it.

Shaking off all other thoughts he just remembers Ayushmann's smiling face as he closes him eyes to get some sleep.

"Bohut hi maza aya aaj." Ayushmann is still vibrating with excitement as they reach home from party almost at 6 am, after Jitu left they also didn't stay for long finally bidding goodbyes they leave. _(Had so much fun today.)_

"Haan itna maza kiya hai ab thora araam bhi karlo. Warna promotions ka kya hoga jo kuch hi ghanton mein hain." Tahira reminds him and Ayushmann's face falls thinking about it. _(Yes, you had too much fun now it's time to rest. Or else what will happen to you during promotions in few hours.)_

"Kya yaar, itna acha mood tha..." _(What yaar, I was in such a good mood...)_

"Mood toh tha aur ab araam ki baari." _(Yes, the good mood was there now time to rest.)_

"Bohut maza aya sabse milkar bohut hi acha laga." (It was so much fun, felt good seeing everyone.)

"Haan jaanti hon dekh rahi thi ke bohut enjoy kiya party mein." _(Yes, I know... I could see how much you enjoyed there.)_

"Haan of course, aur Jitu ko dekha tha? Jo aag laga di dance floor pe." He laughs at remembering their shenanigans at dance floor. Once Maanvi and Ayushmann literally dragged Jitu at dance floor and when he finally danced with Ayushmann on 'Are pyaar kar le' after that Ayushmann and Maavi did not let him go that easily. _(Yes, of course, and did you see Jitu? He set dance floor on fire.)_

"Haan Jitu se bhi finally baat hoyi meri." He looks at Tahira who has a curious look on her face. _(Yes, I finally spoke to Jitu as well.)_

"Kya baat?" She laughs at his expression which changed from laughter to serious in mili second. _(About what?)_

"Arre, yehi ke 'aao kabhi haveli pe'." This causes Ayushmann laugh and Tahira joins in. _(That he should visit us more often.)_

"Tum toh usko ghar nahi bolate toh maine socha main hi invite kardon." Ayushmann is bit confused at this. _(You don't invite him to our home so I thought let me do the deed.)_

"Aisa toh nahi hai." He finally says after thinking about it. Of course, he had invited to Jitu to their home since they signed the movie and so many times Jitu had been here but yes, since the movie is done, promotions is done, he hasn't been here nor Ayushmann actually invited him, why? He doesn't know. _(It's not like that.)_

"Toh? tum dono itne ache dost ho aur clearly aik dosre ko itna miss karte ho." At this Ayushmann's ears go slightly pinking thinking about possibility of Jitu missing him but at same time it leaves him bit confused. _(Then? You both are really good friends and clearly you both miss each other.)_

"Bas na... tum jaanti ho ke humari life kaisi hai aik dam phir busy hogaye aur Jitu bhi apni life mein busy." Ayushmann doesn't know whether it was explanation for Tahira or himself but he ends this discussion here and Tahira doesn't say anything further either as they get some sleep. _(It's just... you know how busy our lives are and we just got busy with new projects.)_

Ayushmann does not get any sleep whatsoever as he wakes up in less than 3 hours to get ready for the promotions. Today is going to be a nightmare and he will need tons of coffee in order to get through this day. He lets Tahira sleep as he leaves for work but his mind still going through the brief conversation between him and Tahira along with the moments from party last night.

He barely manages to get through the day without literally falling asleep during his first round of promotions, even though these promotions aren't as cringed as their SMZS and somewhat that really makes him angry. But he does his job without joking around today as he is clearly not in mood.

"Sab theek hai na, Ayushmann?" His manager asks him. Ayushmann just hhmms but manager asks him again. _(Is everything alright, Ayushmann?)_

"Theek hon na, bas thaka howa hon, sahi se soya nahi." His tone is clearly indicating that he does not want to be challenged so manager just nods. The rest of day goes like this with everything still so fresh in his mind. ( _Everything is fine, I just haven't slept well.)_

Once he gets home is when Ayushmann finally feel the nightmare is over. 'Not attending anymore parties.' He thinks as he freshens up letting all his tiredness wash away from home. Tahira and kids are gone to his parents and Ayushmann enjoys the peace and quiet finally laying down to get some much needed rest.

Once there is silence, Ayushmann is finally able to hear his thoughts which had been roaming around his head making all sort of noise; making a discovery that most of his thoughts are occupying Jitu. Which is a terrifying discovery and no matter how many times he tried to divert his mind it would always come back to Jitu. The shy and charming Jitu whose eyes speaks miles more than his mouth because he is like that, always quite careful when to speak and where to speak. Whereas, Ayushmann was always the one to speak his mind.

He thinks about how this one person came into his life and suddenly became one of his closet friends. Their friendship is not like any others it's different, it always has been because Jitu isn't like others, Jitu is different. Jitu is pure, he is honest and untouched by the fakeness of this industry. This isn't the first time his mind is going back to Jitu but this time his thoughts are getting more louder. There were few times where his subconscious mind would start to draw parallels between Jitu and Aman, between Kartik and Ayushmann and he would shift his thoughts from there instantly.

Yes Jitu is different and yes the friendship developed between them is quite special and it is just that. Right? He always looks forward to hearing from Jitu, his messages, his phone calls always put a smile on Ayushmann's face. He doesn't know how Jitu does it but talking to him, Ayushmann almost feel better no matter how stressed or annoyed he is be. Surprisingly, it was Tahira who pointed that out first few months ago and Ayushmann felt unknown guilt building up but she kissed his forehead and smiled saying she is glad that Ayushmann has a true bond and Jitu is really a true friend.

Ayushmann knows how industry works and how mostly people are here friends with their own benefits attached to it, so it's rare to find true friendships without any conditions or benefits attached to it. He was lucky to find Bhumi, she is incredible, sweet and one of best co-stars he ever worked with.

Then comes Jitu to their rescue. When they were struggling to cast someone for Aman Tripathi. Ayushmann shouldn't be surprised but he was when one by one they faced rejection, no matter the excuse, it was clearly written on almost everyone's face, they don't want to take the risk. Then one day there comes in Jitu, Hitesh tells him and Ayushmann remembers meeting this guy years ago who also messed up his name _'Anshumann Khuranna'._

Ayushmann laughs at this now but at that time it did sting. When he meets Jitu again for the film he is taken aback by guy's silent charming persona. Silent, serious yet charming at the same time. They do table read and sparks are already flying everywhere.

"Hi Jitu. I'm Ayushmann." First meeting and Jitu's is star struck meeting Ayushmann once again.

"I..." He almost says, I know, we have met before but stops himself remembering he had called him by a wrong name, desperately hoping he doesn't remember it.

"Hi... kaise hain aap?" _(Hi... how are you?)_

"Baap re... aap? Itni izzat woh bhi script reading se pehle hi?" Ayushmann jokes does the trick and Jitu feels more comfortable instantly. Hitesh calls them for the initial character reading. They both have to do the scene where they are running away from goons after helping Devika. _(Oh dear... aap? So much respect and that too without reading the script first?)_

Jitu is initially nervous but watching Ayushmann transforming into Kartik so easily gives him confidence and he becomes Aman. One scene, then another, then another... they do at least 4-5 scenes finishing up with them reading the train scene where they kiss. Jitu is nervous but Hitesh tells them they don't need to kiss but just enact the scene and they do that. As soon Ayushmann holds his face in his palms and looks into Jitu's eyes and says ' _I really need your touch_ ,' Jitu's throat dries up, feeling so thirsty as if he has been thirsty for years. Meanwhile, everyone in the room can visibly see the sparks flying and that's when Hitesh knows Jitu is perfect for Aman and he knew their chemistry will surely create sparks on screen.

"That was great. Tum dono toh ki chemistry toh bohut zabardast hai." Hitesh tells them and Jitu cannot help but to blush which doesn't go unnoticed by Ayushmann. Hitesh tells them, they can now finalise rest of cast and start the shooting soon. _(That was great. You too have a great chemistry together.)_

"Matlab yeh role..." _(Meaning this role...)_

"Aapka hai agar aapko aitraaz nahi." Ayushmann tells Jitu. _(Is yours if you want it.)_

"Mujhe kyun aitraaz hoga? Jabke main yeh role karna chahta tha jabse script mili mujhe." Ayushmann cannot help but to feel slightly proud of Jitu. _(Why wouldn't I want it? Whereas I have been wanting to do thiss role since I have read the script.)_

This guy just came in and suddenly Ayushmann cannot help but to feel yes, this is it. He is Aman. He didn't felt sure before but now he cannot imagine anyone else being in Aman Tripathi's shoes.

"Jitu, accepting this role... tumhe pata hai na ke..." Jitu looks at Ayushmann trying to understand where he is going. _(Jitu, accepting this role... you know what this means...)_

"I mean, tumhari family, tumhari girlfriend yaan... I mean, koi problem toh nahi hogi?" Ayushmann realises he is babbling and looks down while blushing and Jitu stands there blinking, processing what is Ayushmann asking him, once it makes sense to him, Jitu finally replies. _(I mean, your family, your girlfriend or... what I mean that it'll be not an issue?)_

"Pehle toh... I'm not in a relationshiop." Ayushmann looks up in surprise and Jitu blushes, he doesn't know why he needs to clarify this but he just does. ( _Firstly... I'm not in a relationship.)_

"And secondly, maine yeh role sab accept kiya hai kyunki main yeh karna chahta hon. Kyunki mujhe es film par, eske message par, Hitesh par, aap par poora bharosa hai. Thirdly, yehi soch badalna chahte hain na toh phir eski shuruwaat toh ghar se hi honi chahiye, right?" Ayushmann's heart bursts into happiness with Jitu's response, it must be showing on his face because Jitu is giving him shy but warm smile which is saying ' _it'll be alright'_. _(And secondly, I accepted this role because I want to do this. Because, I believe in this film, the message of this film, in Hitesh and I believe in you, completely.)_

That day, Ayushmann knew SMZS will be very special and it will certainly create an impact on everyone. This is the first movie for which he was so scared and desperately wanted to do well and when he found his better half, or rather Kartik's better half, his worries started to fade. Jitu came along with this strange confidence that Ayushmann was left in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a long chapter so I have split it in two... will carry on where I am finishing this chapter off in next chapter.
> 
> A lot of coming, be prepared. Next chapter will be very special. ;)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoyed it. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback continuation, dinners, talks and more.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Ayushmann remembers how they had overcome their awkwardness before stepping into Kartik and Aman's shoes and in order to do that, he needed to know they both were on same page and understand each other. So he does the only logical thing and invites Jitu to dinner to discuss their experiences with LGBT community and homophobia. And to discuss the kisses and physical intimacy in the movie, even though it isn't a lot but it is integral part of their characters and if they are not comfortable with each other, it could all go sideways pretty soon. When he invites, Jitu happily accepts. Jitu doesn't know what to expect from this dinner but he knows it's for the best so he accepts the invitation.

When he sees Khurrna's house for the first time, he cannot help but to feel inspired, they have a beautiful home. When he compliments Ayushmann points out that it is all Tahira and he would surely pass his compliments. Upon asking Ayushmann tells him Tahira and their son are gone to their parents as their son has holidays right now and wanted to spend more time with family. Ayushmann misses his family and spending time with them which became less with increasing Showbiz life.

During the dinner they keep their conversations light, revolving about their careers and family. Jitu can feel how lonely Ayushmann is at times. When he left his home to pursue career in this industry, family wasn't as supportive initially but they came around and now most complains were about him not having time for family and Jitu wasn't even doing films then so he can imagine what Ayushmann goes through. Also one thing he realised that despite what people speculate Ayushmann is a very private person and doesn't let anyone in that easily. They just get into conversations so easily from jumping from topic to topic with such ease.

"Coffee? Or Tea?" Jitu just blinks.

"What will you drink?"

"Oh... umm.. coffee will be nice."

Soon they take their drinks and move towards sitting area and get comfortable on sofa.

Jitu's gaze fall on huge vinyl collection, following his gaze Ayushmann tells him it's his collection and encourage Jitu to take a closer look. He sips his coffee as Jitu explores his collection with admiration on his face.

"Bohut impressive collection hai aapki." _(Your collection is quite impressive.)_

"Thank you. Waise itni formality kyun?" Jitu looks at him bit confused. _(Thank you. But why this formality?)_

"Aap." Ah. Jitu realises. ( _Aap?)_

"Woh..." Jitu tries to answer but doesn't know what to say. _(It's...)_

"Ab please yeh mat kehna ke badon ki izzaat karte ho toh esi liye aap kehte ho." Jitu looks at Ayushmann in shock and then laughs. _(Now please don't say that you respect your elders that's why you refer to me as 'aap'.)_

Ayushmann smiles watching Jitu laughs it seems like he is finally losing himself a bit, otherwise he was too closed off, too serious. He knows it was good idea to have this dinner. He enjoys Jitu's laugh, suddenly he feels mischievous.

"Aap ke ilawa kuch bhi bol lo.. Ayushmann... yaan... Anshumann." As soon the last name rolls off his tongue, Jitu's laughter dies and face goes red and Ayushmann has to control himself hard not to give into laughter there and then. _(You can call me anything... Ayushmann or Anshumann.)_

"Woh... sorry.. us waqt..." Jitu becomes blabbering mess and Ayushmann not able to control anymore gives into laughter. _(Sorry... about that...)_

"Arey relax yaar. Kya hogaya hai? Hota hai, us time pe toh bohut hi zayada hota tha." _(Just relax. It happens, used to happen a lot that time.)_

"Aapko yaad thi humari meeting?" Is that shyness he detects in his tone, Ayushmann wonders. _(You remember our first meeting?)_

"Of course, kaise bhool sakta hon?" Jitu looks at him in surprise causing Ayushmann to backtrack. _(Of course, how can I forget?)_

"I mean, maine jo events attend kiye hain mostly yaad hain aur jab Hitesh ne bataya toh of course, TVF ke Jeetu bhaiya ko koun nahi janta." Jitu doesn't know to respond to it, he feels overwhelmed. ( _I mean, I remember most of events I attend and when Hitesh mentioned you, then of course I remember and who can forget the infamous TVF's Jeetu Bhahiya.)_

"I'm sorry about the name."

"Please, it's okay." Ayushmann is as sincere in his response as Jitu is in his apology.

"So... have you kissed a guy before?" Jitu takes a sip of coffee in the exact moment when this question is directed at him catching him off guard causing his coffee to go in wrong pipe turning him into a coughing mess.

Ayushmann doesn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him. Jitu recovers quickly.

"What?!"

"Genuine question hai, I mean, movie ke liye." Jitu has confused look all over him so Ayushmann tries again. ( _It's a genuine question, I mean it's relevant to the movie.)_

"Maine socha movie karni hai saath toh aik dosre ko jan'na zaroori hai. Aik dosre ke experiences LGBT community ke saath, homophobic experiences and of course, kissing. I guess, I should have started out in this order." Ayushmann replies and finally it dawns to Jitu, this is exactly why they were meeting tonight. This what was dinner about. He got so comfortable talking about other things, feeling at ease that he almost forgot the real purpose of this meeting.

_(I thought if we are doing the movie together then it's good to know each other. To know about each other's experiences with LGBT community, homophobic experiences and of course, kissing. I guess, I should have started out in this order.)_

Jitu comes and sits across Ayushmann on sofa. And they begin recounting their experiences. Ayushmann begins first, talking about his experience in college when he was asked attend that gay club party, they invited him as chief guest but he didn't go because he kept thinking about how will they act and what will happen. Looking back now, he feels ashamed but he opens up about the fact how they did not had the awareness about it and he also was bit homophobic. Entering into this industry slowly started to make Ayushmann awareness about LGBT but unfortunately, a lot of them were in closet and the more Ayushmann met them, his mind started to open up more. and his homophobia fading away.

Jitu can completely understand where Ayushmann is coming from, so he begins to share him experiences, talking about being in boarding school with all boys and how the experience there was. The ragging had huge hand in blurring lines between right and wrong and Jitu not understanding that at time but now looking back even he feels ignorant. He talks about how most of dares were about kissing other guys and casually slipping in he partook in those too. It takes moments for Ayushmann to process and Jitu keeps on talking but when it hits Ayushmann what the younger man said, his mind stops.

"Wait... what?"

"What?"

"You said... you have kissed a guy before."

"Guys."

"What?"

"I have kissed guys before."

"Okay." He replies slowly while his eyes trained on Jitu.

"It was bet." He replies feeling suddenly hot under that gaze.

"Oh. Please elaborate." Ayushmann says with teasing clearly visible in his tone.

"Esme elaborate kya karne. Bataya na dares hoti thi toh 2-3 bar mujhe bhi yehi dare mila toh..." _(What's there to elaborate. I told you there used to be dares 2-3 times I got this dares so...)_

"Okay... my turn. I have also kissed a guy before." This was not something Jitu had expected from Ayushmann, maybe the disbelieve is clear on his face.

"What? I have but only once."

"Well... that's good." Jitu replies not sure what else to say. If they both have kissed guys before then it should be fine during the film right.

"It wasn't." Ayushmann whispers but Jitu hears it. This confession does something to his heart but Jitu ignores it.

"Kaisi thi?" ( _How was it?)_

"Kya?" _(What?)_

"Kiss with a guy. Or wait.. guys." The way Ayushmann says guys, it seems like the confession didn't settle well with him.

"Ermm... theek thi, I guess." _(Ermm... it was okay, I guess.)_

"Sirf theek?" That peaks his interest and Jitu feels at loss of words here. He doesn't know what Ayushmann is trying to do here. _(Just okay?)_

"Saare kisses sirf theek hi thi?" He asks again and Jitu is getting bit annoyed. _(Were all kisses were just okay?)_

"Matlab kya hai aapka?" _(What do you mean?)_

"Movie ke liye sirf theek kaafi nahi hai." Ayushmann replies quietly. ( _Okay is not good enough for this movie.)_

"Toh phir? Kya practise karni hai?" Jitu jokes but it falls flat when Ayushmann doesn't laugh but looks at Jitu with pure intent. _(Then what? You want to practise kissing?)_

"Ayushmann..."

"Yeh perfect idea hai." _(This is a perfect idea.)_

"Yeh idea nahi hai... maine joke kiya tha." Jitu's heart is suddenly racing and meanwhile Ayushmann is debating with himself whether it's a good idea or not. He does not want to scare away Jitu, he doesn't want to be on a wrong foot here. _(It's not an idea... I cracked a joke.)_

"Kiss perfect hona zaroori nahi hai lekin hum dono ka aik dosre ki space mein comfortable hona zaroori hai. Agar hum dono aise hi react kareinge toh woh dikhayi dekha screen pe aur yeh acha nahi hai." It makes sense to Jitu where Ayushmann is coming from but something keep nagging him. _(Kiss does not have to be perfect but we need to be comfortable in each other's space. If we both keep reacting like this then it'll reflect on screen and it's not good.)_

"Aik baat poochon?" _(Can I something?)_

"Haan poocho." _(Sure.)_

"Maine script parhi hai aur jis tarhan yehi likhi gayi hai bohut hi khubsooraat hai. Kartik aur Aman ka pyaar feel hota hai, samjh mein ata hai ke unke beech ki kisses bohut special hain. Par kissing par itna zorr kyun?" _(I have read the script and it is written so beautifully. Kartik & Aman's love can be felt in those words, it's understandable that their kisses are quite special. But why so much pressure on kissing?)_

"Kyunki es film mein queer baiting nahi hogi. I'm tired of all this aur main yehi sab khatam karna chahta hon." _(Because this film will not have queer baiting. I am tired of all this and I want to put an end to this.)_

"Tumhe nahi lagta tum bohut pressure le rahe ho?" Tum... Jitu called Ayushmann 'tum' and he quietly smiles at his success. Jitu is opening up and getting comfortable around him. ( _Don't you think you are putting too much pressure on yourself?)_

"Pressure toh hai, bohut hai. Agar yeh movie kisi bhi angle se thori si bhi ghalat hoyi toh..." _(Pressure is there and if this movie goes wrong from any angle then...)_

"Itna mat socho. Hitesh pe, hum sab pe bharosa hai na?" _(Don't think too hard. Have faith in us and Hitesh.)_

"Of course, bharosa hai." Ayushmann replies instantly. _(Of course, I have faith.)_

"Toh phir... itna mat socho, itna pressure mat dalo khudpar." Jitu's words bring comfort to him and Ayushmann feels more relaxed now. _(Then don't think too much about it, don't put this pressure on yourself.)_

The conversation dies down but there is still some tension in the air. Both are pondering over the conversation and absorbing everything. Jitu looks at this beautiful, amazing and versatile actor who has broken the stereotypes in Bollywood and is about to do that again. He can understand the pressure of this film and he is feeling that pressure himself as well even though if he doesn't show it. Ayushmann is right, if they don't get comfortable around each other and break this tension between them, it'll not project well on screen.

"Let's do it." Jitu says breaking the silence.

"Hhmm.. what?"

"Practise." That's all he says causing Ayushmann to look directly into his eyes.

"Wahan sabke samne try karne se better hai ke yahan hi practise karlein pehle." Jitu tries to explain whether it is to Ayushmann or his heart which is beating too loudly he doesn't know. _(It's better to practise here than doing it out there in front of everyone.)_

His words are met with silence and Jitu is looking anywhere but Ayushmann unaware of the fact that other man's eyes are glued to sight of him. In a swift Ayushmann is kneeling in front of Jitu on his knees startling Jitu causing him to jump. Ayushmann laughs.

"Relax." Their eyes lock and suddenly everything is quiet.

"Are you sure about this, Jitu?" Ayushmann asks him in all seriousness and Jitu is unable to form any words ends up just nodding.

"Then just relax." He puts his both hands on Jitu's knees causing current flowing through his body, before Jitu could say anything suddenly the hands move from his knees and Ayushmann is on his foot turning away from Jitu. Jitu is unable to understand what is going on but when he looks closely he can see Ayushmann's hands shaking and then he knows that other man is also as nervous as him.

Jitu stands up and goes upto him, standing just an inch away from him. Gently placing his hand on other man's shoulder causing other man to turn around avoiding Jitu's eyes. "We don't have to do this."

Jitu gently tells him causing Ayushmann to look at him, their eyes locking once again and Ayushmann shaking his head. They stand there for a moment in each other's space with Jitu's hand still on his shoulder, rubbing it slowly, eyes locked. In this moment he realises the true height gap between them and for some reason Jitu finds it hot. 'Hot,' what the hell he is thinking? How can... suddenly his mind shuts down as a hand comes up to his face to crease his cheek gently. Ayushmann moves slightly closer to fill the gap between them and without a second thought Jitu moves forward to close the gap entirely with their lips locking.

They stand there as their lips stay connected, eyes completely shut and mind completely calm. Minutes or was it seconds, they don't know, they pull apart gently, trying to calm their breathing. Jitu opens his eyes just a second earlier and his heart skips beat or two when he watches Ayushmann's flushed face, it's pure beauty. Then Ayushmann opens his eyes and Jitu's admiration comes to halt causing him to look away.

"Was it okay?" "Hmm?" Jitu looks at Ayushmann. They still haven't moved an inch.

"I mean... ke theek thi yaan... do you think we should try again?" Jitu blinks few times as he process the words, his body going hot all over. When he doesn't reply because his brain suddenly is gone too slow, Ayushmann starts to pull away and Jitu doesn't want to let go just yet. _(I mean was it okay or... do you think we should do it again?)_

"Sure." It comes out from his mouth before he can stop himself but it stops Ayushmann from moving away, so it counts as a win. This time the gap closes more quickly and they feel more comfortable than before.

They let their lips move to their own accord. Jitu's other hand moves from his side and sliding to Ayushmann's back, holding him gently for support. And Ayushmann's hand moves to back of Jitu's neck, his fingers gently playing with his hair. It causes Jitu to gasp, taking that as a chance, Ayushmann starts to play with his tongue causes Jitu's brain to completely shut down and give into kiss completely. Their tongues keep battle for dominance as they stand their for minutes or hours just kissing each other.

The need to breathe is what finally forces them to pull away. Jitu feels lightheaded as they pull away, not yet opening his eyes he focuses on catching his breathe. He realises they are still holding onto each other, their face almost touching as they catch their breathe.

Ayushmann opens his eyes first this time to find Jitu's awestruck face, looking so beautiful as he focuses on breathing. He must have sensed his gaze. He opens his eyes to meet with his gaze. Ayushmann offers him a smile, a real Ayushmann smile and Jitu mirrors that smile. Ayushmann closes the gap yet again but this time to pull younger man in a hug and whispers a 'thank you'. And Jitu knows it's not just for this but for everything, a simple thank you causes his heart to melt for this man. Ayushmann can feel Jitu's smile causing his heart to relax a bit. Once they break from hug silence takes over and Ayushmann does not want to go back into awkward zone once more.

"So... what it your best kiss with a guy or what?" Ayushmann jokes and Jitu looks at him with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hmm.." He just shrugs and Ayushmann is offended.

"Are you serious?" Jitu enjoys those pout look on Ayushmann before giving into a laughter fit causing Ayushmann to join in as well and just like that they move on to next topic, next conversation but something had shifted between them after that kiss, that hug. The atmosphere was not heavy anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I hope you'll enjoyed it. ;) I would love to know your reactions to it. :)
> 
> I knew I cannot write this story without this chapter, this flashback since Ayushmann had talked about it in his interview, talking about inviting Jitu for dinner to get to know each other and their experiences with LGBT before starting on the film. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks, family reactions and more.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

That kiss has stayed fresh in Ayushmann's mind since that evening. The taste of Jitu's lips did not leave him for a while. Hitesh was right they both have undeniable chemistry together it was proving right. But what Ayushmann did not know that soon Jitu will become so essential for him. The faith he had shown in the film, in Ayushmann it still makes him surprised.

That night when Jitu finally leaves and for the first time Ayushmann instantly misses someone's company terribly and it hasn't happened in a very long time. He has not met someone as intriguing as Jitu. Ayushmann knew that night that this movie will change his life forever, whether it would be for good or bad he didn't know and in a long time he was actually afraid of the unseen change.

If you ask Jitu when he actually fell for his co-star he will never be able to give you a straight answer, well, mostly because he spent so much of time in denial but when finally accepted his feelings he still finds himself unable to answer it. He just knew it was going to be a very special project when he said yes to Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan but never knew how much it'll end up changing his life and him as well along the way.

Jitu knew his family wouldn't be supportive so he avoided telling them until it was really necessary to tell them.

"Aare aisa konsa bada project hai?" _(What kind of this big project is?)_

"Film hai, dad." _(It's a film, dad.)_

"Chalo, finally, tumhari struggle ka kuch toh fiada howa." Damn, it hurt to hear it from his father, Jitu should be used to it by now but it still stung. _(Good, finally, your struggle seems to be paying off.)_

"Konsi film hai?" Oh the burning question and the answer of it gets stuck in Jitu's throat. ( _What film is it?)_

"Bataonga jaldi." Jitu manages to avert the answer but as usual his father wasn't too pleased but what else to expect but at least he held off the answer for time being. _(Will tell you about it soon.)_

Until it became necessary to tell his family after they had shot half or movie, Jitu finally drops the bomb on his family. And of course, their reactions were as expected.

"Dimaag kharab hogaya hai es larke ka." He could hear his dad clearly despite him being away from phone. _(This boy has lost his mind.)_

"Mummy..."

"Jitu, yeh sab kya hai? Mujhe nahi pata tha ke tu yeh sab..." _(Jitu, what is all this? I didn't know you would get involve in all this...)_

"Yeh sab kya, Mummy? Aur esme ghalat kya hai? Itni achi movie hai, itna bara chance hai." ( _What all this, Mummy? What is wrong in this? It's such a good movie, such a big chance.)_

"Ghalat kya hai? Lo, aapke sahabzaade yeh bhi nahi jaante ke kya ghalat hai." His father speaks over his mother and Jitu find himself close to snapping. _(What is wrong? See, now your favourite son does not even know what is wrong in all this.)_

"Yeh film chodh do." His mother ask him and Jitu gets shocked. _(Leave this film.)_

"Mummy kya bol rahi ho?" _(Mummy what are you saying?)_

"Tumhe agar humari izzat ka zara bhi khayal hai toh chodh do." It angers him how ignorant and unsupportive his parents are being currently. Before he could say anything, his father strikes yet again. _(If you have any care for our respect, leave this film.)_

"Kehdo esay ke film nahi chodhni toh hume chodh de. Humse raabta na kare, eski wajah se hum shaarmsaar nahi hosakte." With this phone line goes dead and Jitu sits there pale and unable to do anything. _(Tell him if he can't leave the film then leave us. Don't contact us again, we cannot be humiliated because of him.)_

They didn't even speak to him for days and it hurt. It made him want to do this movie even more hoping to change this reaction. He knew he was hoping for a lot but after meeting Ayushmann, Hitesh and rest of team, he knew they are creating something beautiful. He put 110% in this movie, giving his best and in process becoming too emotionally involved in this. When he thought things couldn't go more wrong he goes and falls for Ayushmann.

It was Ayushmann who noticed Jitu's change in mood, his behaviour and his dedication. Ayushmann being Ayushmann cannot let it go so he keeps chasing Jitu until he finally opens up to Ayushmann.

"Maine kaha tha na Jitu ke yeh film..." _(I did tell you that the film...)_

"Jaanta hon aur maine hi kaha tha ke yeh film karni hai mujhe. Es film ko chodhne ka sawaal hi nahi banta." Ayushmann cannot help but to admire the determination of Jitu. _(I know and I told you that I want to do this film. Leaving the film is out of question.)_

"Toh phir kya? Ghar walon ko chodh doge?" Jitu sighs running his hand through his hair not knowing what to say or do. Ayushmann can see how tormented Jitu is right now, he is hurting and it is hurting Ayushmann. He goes to Jitu and hugs him tightly and Jitu just melts against him. ( _Then what? You'll leave your family?)_

"Samajh nahi araha ke kya karon." He mutters against Ayushmann's shirt. _(I don't know what to do.)_

"Fikar mat kar, sab theek hojayega. Dekhna jab movie ayegi na toh yeh sab ktina support kareinge." ( _Don't worry, everything will be alright. Just wait till the movie comes out, they all will support you.)_

"Khush pehmi hai tumhari." ( _Keep on dreaming.)_

"Hey!" Ayushmann tries to sooth Jitu who still feels restless.

"Darr lag raha hai mujhe." He admits while his face tucked away in Ayushmann's neck. _(I'm scared.)_

"Darr mat. Sab theek hojayega, dekhna." With this he places a kiss on Jitu's forehead and Jitu feels his nerves calming. How could he not with a man who stands there like a solid rock when Jitu is left alone by his own, when that man keeps invading Jitu's personal space even when he is Kartik or Ayushmann, when he gives that smile to Jitu and hugs him. _(Don't be scared, everything will work out, just wait and see.)_

It was inevitable, him falling for Ayushmann and doesn't scare Jitu as he thought it would. Because of course, it's a crush, it happen that's what keeps him going through the filming, his denial and disconnect; they are working together and it's natural. What shocks him that how less he is worried about the fact Ayushmann is a man. His freak out is the fact he formed a crush on Ayushmann Khurranna. Him thinking that it will fade with time after shooting ends was totally wrong, only it gets stronger with time, leaving him in a mess. After Chandigarh and then success get together at Neena Guptas party had changed that.

When he finally sat down to examine his feelings he comes to a solid conclusion that he has gone ahead and fallen for Ayushmann. He spent days and nights trying to dent and justify his feelings as crush but in the end he had come face to face with a fact that his feelings run far more deep than a mere crush. Then of course, Jitu does not handle this well, especially when Ayushmann is always there in back of his mind.

Also making his presence known through his messages. Always checking up on him with a quick hi or just sharing links of his new SMZS memes or links to articles, blog posts praising their film. Some days even sharing fanart of SMZS, turns out there was a whole 'Karman' fandom out there, as if 'Jitushmann' weren't enough. His heart would ache for the other man but Jitu decided to stay quiet and let it not come between their friendship. So he buried all those feelings deep down in a corner of his heart to lock away and continue to be the friend Ayushmann needs and deserves.

He tried distancing himself but of course the outcome of that was not what he expected so he knew he cannot block Ayushman out of his life, so he just have to deal with his feelings and not let anyone get a hint of it. They keep moving forward with their lives and their friendship keeps on growing despite their crazy schedules.

Also another good thing happens. After the trailers came out Jitu's family finally gave some sort of response, most of them were positive but his family still wasn't convinced about movie.

"Trailer acha lag raha hai movie ka." _(Trailer looks good for the movie.)_

"Movie bhi achi hai, Mummy." _(Even the movie is good, Mummy.)_

"Dekheinge toh pata chal jayega." _(We'll know once we see it.)_

"Toh kya aap log dekhne jayeinge?" Jitu couldn't believe his ears. _(So you all will watch the movie?)_

"Haan dekheinge toh sahi, teri film hai." It wasn't exactly what he was expecting but it was more than enough for Jitu. He knows expecting more would be foolish so he gets happy with what he got _. (Yes, we will have to see it, it's your film.)_

Of course, the movie released and it was a big success with such a positive response from all over the world and giving birth to their own fandom, Jitu couldn't be more prouder.

Thinking back Jitu remembers the night clearly as if it was just last night when he stepped foot into Ayushmann Khuranna's home not realising he was actually stepping into his life and after that their lives will never be the same. When he left Ayushmann's house that night, he knew that something is changing and this movie will change his life forever, for better or worse he had not known. Now looking back Jitu should've guessed that he was walking into a deep trouble with his heart worn at his sleeve.

* * *

I hope you'll enjoyed it. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakdown and a phone call. [Just added a revised version of this chapter, needed to take a part out from the story. Jitu is still in Kota during this chapter.]

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Jitu's relationship with his parents, his family has been bit rocky since he decided to come to Mumbai to persue acting. Of course, his parents didn't approve of that especially since he finished his IIT and then decided to shift his career into acting. Then of course after years he started to get films his debut Gone Kesh was alright but then he got his big break with Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan' and of course, onee again his family disapproved of his choices, nothing new in that. Since their last conversation they have been on rocky ground which was after the movie released and their feedback was okay as he expected though, they did enjoy the film so Jitu can count it as a win.

And then it happens, so unexpected. The shooting had begun for the Kota Factory Season 2 and that was Jitu's current priority he is in Kota during the shooting for series. It was quite hectic day for him, getting home he just wanted to go to sleep. But of course his plans don't work out as his phone rings and looking at screen he knows its from home, with a sigh he picks up the phone.

"Jitu, kaisa hai beta?" _(Jitu, how are you son?)_

"Main theek hon, Mummy aap kaise ho? Papa, sab log theek hain na?" _(I'm fine, Mummy, how are you? How is Papa and everyone else?)_

"Haan hum sab theek hain." His mum's cheering tone raises suspicions but then he hears his father's voice in background. _(We all are good.)_

"Haan Jitu hai." Suddenly his both parents are on the phone and Jitu hopes all is okay. Oddly enough, they ask him about his work and he tells them he is shooting for Kota Factory and he keeps waiting for other shoe to drop. And then it does. His father tells him he is proud of him for doing the movie and his mother also agrees and Jitu does not know how to react. It comes as a huge shock to Jitu and he is overwhelmed, almost in tears. This is huge for him. In a way it seems like they are finally accepting and respecting Jitu and his work. _(Yes, it's Jitu.)_

They say their piece and after they hang up Jitu sits there for sometime as he tries to process exactly what happened. He tries to make sense of the conversation but the phone calls has caused his emotions to run high and he isn't able to think straight. He is just an emotional mess and that's how he ends up calling the only person he would want to share this moment with. Or maybe he is letting his emotions get over him.

"Hey, Jitu! Finally aaj tujhe bhi call karne ka khayal aya." Ayushmann's cheerful voice does nothing to sooth his emotions in fact it does the opposite, tears rolling down hard and fast. _(Hey, Jitu. Finally even you thought of me to call me.)_

"Jitu?" There is worry in his tone and maybe that does it and sobs breaks out from his throat. Hearing that Ayushmann becomes more alert and gives his full attention to Jitu.

"Jitu, kya howa?" He tries to form words but they get stuck in his throat and his sobbing increase. Ayushmann's heart is sinking but he tries to stay calm as he stays on phone while Jitu is having a meltdown. He keeps repeating _'I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here with you.'_ _(Jitu, what happened?)_

Ayushmann's words finally managed to calm Jitu enough to be able to speak.

"Sorry." That's his first words and Ayushmann's heart breaks.

"Pagal mat ban... bata mujhe, kya howa hai?" Ayushmann doesn't let his voice shake, doesn't let Jitu know that he himself is on verge of tears hearing Jitu's meltdown. _(Don't be silly... talk to me, what happened?)_

"They said they are proud of me." That's all he manages to say before another sobs wrenches out of him. They. His family. His parents. Then it hits Ayushmann what this really is about.

"Jitu..." He softly calls for his attention.

"Hhmm." He replies after his sobs are lessened.

"Talk to me." Ayushmann whispers.

"Ayush..." There it is again, Jitu calling him with that nickname and with such softness. Ayushmann bashing away these thoughts keeps his focus on Jitu. He needs him right now.

"Kabhi nahi socha tha ke usne main yeh sunnonga. Mummy, Pappa, dono... they are proud of me. They are proud ke maine Shubh Mangal Zyda Savdhaan ki. Mujhe yaqeen nahi araha ke yeh sach hai yaan nahi." He takes deep breathe to recollect himself before continuing. _(I never thought I'll hear them say this to me. Mummy, Papa both of them... they are so proud of me. They are proud that I did Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan. I cannot believe whether it's true or a dream.)_

" _'I'm proud of you my son.'_ Saari zindagi yehi sunna chaha aur aaj jab suna hai toh samajh nahi araha, yaqeen nahi ata." _(All my life I wanted to hear these words from the and now I can't believe it.)_

"Toh yaqeen karle. Kyunki yeh sach hai. Agar unhone be aaj kaha toh eska matlab yeh nahi ke woh kabhi proud nahi thay. Humesha se thay par kehne mein time lag gaya." Ayushmann replies. _(You should believe it, because it is true. If they have said it today that doesn't mean they were not proud of you before. They were always proud of you but it took them time to say it.)_

"Tujhe kaise pata?" Jitu counters him. _(How do you know?)_

"Because I know you, Jitu. Tum jitne ache insaan ho, jitna acha dil hai, tumhara jo creative mind hai, tumhari guts, strength. Sab dekhi hain maine, sab janta hon esi keh yeh raha hon. Aur maine kaha nahi meri galati hai but I'm so proud of you, Jitu." Jitu is stunned at his friend's words. He lets Ayushmann's words wash over him, bringing warmth in his heart, fresh tears brimming in his eyes causing a sudden calmness around and within Jitu. Also, in that moment he knows, what truly Ayushmann is for him.

_(Because I know you, Jitu. You are a great person with a pure heart, your creative mind, your guts, strength; I have seen all of it and I know it that's why I am telling you this. And it's my fault that I have not said it but I am so proud of you, Jitu.)_

"Thank you." Jitu whispers after few moments of silence.

There is so much Ayushmann wants to say but the silence between them feels so comfortable, he does not want to disturb it. He just stays on the other side of phone quietly listening to sound of Jitu's breathing. He can hear Jitu calming down and coming out from his meltdown.

They don't speak but Jitu can hear Ayushmann on the other side and that is more than enough. Even though his wild heart wants nothing more than to see that man and fall into his arms. But for now he puts phone on speaker before he hugs the phone which is contacting them, imagining hugging the one person he wants to hug so badly right now.

Ayushmann stays on the phone until he is certain Jitu is okay. Until Jitu tells him that yes, he is okay now and he will be fine. Reluctantly but with a promise to check in later Ayushmann finally lets Jitu go. They do have a small 'you hang up. No you hang up,' moment bringing smile to both of their faces before they finally hang up together. As soon he hangs up, Ayushmann holds the nearest wall for support as he takes deep breaths. He had been controlling his emotions in order to stay strong for Jitu but now they are hitting him strong. Tears holding back in his eyes start to fall.

He was on set when Jitu called, it took him by surprise as Jitu rarely calls and usually a text before the call to make sure Ayushmann is free. Even though, Ayushmann told him he can call anytime, no need to text but Jitu is Jitu. Picking up the phone what he accepted to be a cheerful response when he was met with silence followed by sobbing, his heart sank and worst case scenarios running through his mind.

When finally Jitu was able to speak between his crying, it broke his heart to know why Jitu is having a meltdown. Family. And their acceptance. No matter how much we grow up, there is always a child in us wanting nothing more than parent's acceptance and them to be proud of us. Ayushmann knew that Jitu had a constant battle going on with his family while working on this film. There would be days during their filming where Jitu would be down and slowly Ayushmann realised it would be when he would've spoken to his family. It took them time but finally accepted that Jitu is doing that film and after trailer came out they were okay with it but Ayushmann knew for Jitu it has been a huge battle.

Ayushmann realises he never said _'I'm proud of you'_ to Jitu before today and somehow it doesn't make him feel better. Jitu is so talented, hard working, he literally gave his blood, sweat, tears for this movie and he truly deserves all the love and appreciation he is getting but he also deserves far more. He ears are still ringing with Jitu's sobs, he wishes he could be there to envelop him in a tight hug.

Seriously, Jitu's family doesn't understand what a gem their son is and somewhere deep down it angers him. How he just sobbed over their praise shows how much he craved for this till now. His thoughts are disrupted when he is asked to be on set again. Suddenly Ayushmann remembers he was in middle of his shooting. He takes few moments to compose himself, wiping away any traces of tears and letting his heart become steady before letting his lips turn into a smile, his fake smile as he walks back to the set and resumes shooting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it. :) Sorry took me time to post it, I usually post on weekdays not weekends.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner, talks and more. (Long chapter so split it into two chapters.)

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

That day after finishing shooting when Ayushmann goes home, he is unable to shake of Jitu from his thoughts, his sobs, his pain; Ayushmann has been carrying all this weight with him all day. All he can think about seeing Jitu, how he should have been there for him, he should see him. Jitu had a meltdown and understandably so and how he called Ayushmann; he can imagine Jitu holding on until he couldn't when he made the call.

"Kya howa itne pareshaan kyun lag rahe ho?" Tahira notices the unusual quietness surrounding Ayushmann. _(What happened? Why looking so worried?)_

"Kuch nahi." That is bit odd. _(Nothing.)_

"Kuch toh howa hai warna itne gum nahi hote." _(Something did happen or else you wouldn't be so glum.)_

"Jitu se baat hoyi thi aaj." He replies after taking a long breathe. _(I spoke with Jitu today.)_

"Woh theek hai?" Ayushmann just shakes his head. Tahira waits patiently for him to explain. _(Is he okay?)_

"Woh theek nahi hai. Aur pata nahi dil bhi ajeeb sa ghabra raha hai us call ke baad." Tahira watches Ayushmann continue to feel restless but he does not expand on what happened. Sighing she finally says out loud what he is thinking but not saying. ( _He is not okay. I don't know my heart is being restless since the phone call.)_

"Toh mil kyun nahi lete usay?" Tahira asks him knowing that Ayushmann is restless. When he tries to answer her question, all excuses die in his throat. Excuses. It takes him few days to plan but when he decides he needs to see Jitu, he makes sure to make it happen. Jitu doesn't connect him after that, their messages are being exchanged with minimal replies from Jitu. Ayushmann knows when Jitu is back in Mumbai briefly before going away for shooting again. Ayushmann does early shift of shooting, cancels all plans for rest of day with determined to see Jitu. _(Then why don't you see him?)_

He didn't even think about telling the other guy he will be in the city because of course, he is also busy with his project, so he comes and hoping to leave the city unnoticed. So he is indeed shocked when he finds Ayushmann at his door at late afternoon. Jitu stands there with door wide open looking at Ayushmann with wide eyes, clearly not expecting the other man's company.

"Andar anay ki ijazaat hai yaan aise hi darwaaze pe goorte rehne ka irada hai?" His tone is light and teasing. Jitu just moves from door and Ayushmann comes in and before Jitu can say anything, the older man pulls Jitu in a hug, wrapping his arms completely around Jitu. _(Do I have the permission to enter or you want to stare some more at the door step?)_

Unable to hold back his emotions any longer, Jitu wraps his arms other the other man, hugging him back tightly. The tight hold of Jitu makes Ayushmann tighten his hold onto other man as well and he stands there holding onto other man. Jitu's breath quickens when Ayushmann's arms tightens around him. He feels all his tension releasing his body, this is exactly what he needed, what we wanted badly and for now he relishes in it.

Once Ayushmann feels Jitu is okay he slowly looses his hold on him, giving him space and time to break away from hug. Jitu sensing that, slowly breaks away from hug, gaze on floor but a shy smile on his lips.

"Kaisa hai?" _(How are you?)_

"Tum yahan?" Both begin at the same time and Jitu stops hearing Ayushmann's question. _(You here?)_

"Haan, theek hon." He replies but his voice isn't convincing. _(Yes, I am alright.)_

"Aao.. baitho." Ayushmann makes himself comfortable at Jitu's apartment. _(Come have a seat.)_

"Tum kaise ho? Kuch peeyoge?" Jitu asks once they sit down. _(How are you? Want something to drink?)_

"Main theek hon aur peene se pehle kuch khaaonga." Ayushmann replies in one breathe. _(I'm good and will have a drink later first I will have something to eat.)_

"Tumne kuch khaya nahi?" _(You didn't eat anything?)_

"Nahi. Shooting khatam karke seedha yahan aya hon." Jitu is stunned. _(No. I wrapped up shooting and came straight here.)_

"Seedha yahan?" _(Straight here?)_

"Haan... socha ke mil lon esay pehle tu phirse MIA hojaye. Khud toh batayega nahi par mere paas bhi tarikay hain info nikalwane ke." Scratching his head lightly Jitu looks away at this. _(Yes... I thought to come and see you before you go MIA again. You wouldn't tell me anything so what else I would do to to get info.)_

"Woh yaar, bas producer ke saath aik meeting thi, bas esi liye aise anan fanan..." _(It's just I had this meeting with producer that's why I came back at such a short notice...)_

"Haan haan.. pata hai, "Jeetu bhaiya" kitne busy hain. Ab hume kahan bhao deinge." _(Yes, yes... I know, "Jeetu Bhahiya" is very busy and why will you give me any importance?)_

"Shut up yaar, Ayush...mann." The gap between Ayush and Mann doesn't skip by Ayushmann, he really wants to mention this but he stays quiet on this once again. It seems like this is adding into their 'unspoken' pile.

"Dinner ka kya karna hai?" Ayushmann asks Jitu, diverting attention from heavy conversation for now. He'll surely get back to it later on but right now he is really tired and hungry. _(What to do about dinner?)_

"Maine..." Jitu wasn't expecting company, he feels embarrassed for lack of preparations. He was about to suggest eating out but tiredness is clearly visible on other man's face and he hasn't prepared anything so order in is good option. _(I...)_

"Theek hai. Jo dil chahe order karde." _(That's alright. Just order whatever you like.)_

"Tune kya khana hai?" Jitu asks once again. Ayushmann thinks for a moment and then suggests pure desi cuisine. _(What do you want to eat?)_

"Tumhari movie shoot ho rahi hai na? Abhi allow hai yeh khanna?" _(You are in midst of movie shoot, aren't you? Are you allowed to eat all this food?)_

"Arre bhaad mein jaye abhi ke liye, aaj bas maine apni marzi karni hai. Cheat day." Ayushmann adds that in the end with a wink throwing at Jitu who stops on his tracks. Smile spreads across Ayushmann's face enjoying the look on Jitu's face, who in return throws cushion at him before picking up the phone and ordering the food. By the time food arrives even Jitu is quite hungry. _(I don't care about it for now, today I just want to eat what I feel like. Cheat day.)_

"Itne dino baad yeh khana naseeb howa hai." Ayushmann lets out a loud moan as he takes the first bite and that moan does things to Jitu's body and he goes still. Ayushmann looks at him sheepishly. _(Finally eating this food after ages.)_

"Jitna jee chahe khah." Ayushmann absolutely enjoys every bite of that dinner and Jitu is unable to concentrate, too busy watching Ayushmann enjoying his food. _(Eat all you want.)_

The dinner goes smoothly as Ayushmann talks about movie he is currently busy with.

"Seriously yaar, I miss our gang."

"Not enjoying?"

"Nahi... I mean enjoy toh kar raha hon par woh baat nahi hai." He pouts and Jitu's heart warms at this confession. ( _Nope... I meant I am enjoying but it's not the same.)_

"Haan, miss toh main bhi kar raha hon." He is looking at his food, pretending to eat as he confesses. Looking at his face Ayushmann can take a clear guess about what is Jitu clearly missing. _(Yes, even I miss it.)_

"Kota Factory is your baby." Ayushmann doesn't mean to say it but it slips out.

"Haan but..." Jitu doesn't finish his sentence, not wanting to continue it.

"Enjoy kar raha hai na?" _(Not enjoying it?)_

"Haan, itne waqt se kaam kar raha tha espe, finally ab shooting shuru hoyi hai. Shubh Mangal ke baad furan Kota Factory pe kaam shuru hogaya toh shayad thora transition karne mein waqt laga hai." _(Yes, I have been working on it for quite some time and now the shooting has started. Soon after finishing Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan I started on Kota Factory so maybe just taking bit of time to transition from one to another.)_

"Haan, samajh sakta hon, pehle bhi itni movies ki par pehli bar aisa howa ke transition karne mein itna waqt laga." _(Yes, I can understand, I have done many movies in past but it is first time that took time to transition from one to another.)_

"Shubh Mangal Zyada is something else. We created something else, entirely." Ayushmann continues with clear awe in his voice.

"Haan... aise hi lagta hai. Kuch toh hum kar guzre hain." Jitu is still in awe as some of beautiful memories cross his mind. _(Yes... it feels like that. We have done something else entirely.)_

"Socha nahi tha yeh meri zindagi aise badal dega." Jitu mutters to himself but Ayushmann overhears him. _(I never thought how it will change my life.)_

"Kaise?" He asks and then Jitu realises his mistake. When he doesn't reply, Ayushmann continues. _(How?)_

"Family ki baat kar raha hai? Us din ke baad baat hoyi ghar walon se?" Finally, he manages to ask what he wanted to ask since he walked through that door. _(You are talking about the family? Did you speak to them after that day?)_

"Dinner ke waqt itni heavy discussion?" Is the question he gets from younger man. _(Such heavy discussion during dinner?)_

"Toh theek hai, dinner ke baad baat karte hain." So... he will not walk away from this. Jitu thinks to himself. _(That's fine then, we will take it up after dinner.)_

"Es liye aye ho?" _(That's why you came here?)_

"Fikar hai tumhari mujhe." _(I worry about you.)_

"Kyun?" Jitu doesn't know why but he needs answer to this. _(Why?)_

"Tumne mujhe hi call kyun ki?" Ayushmann asks Jitu while looking straight into his eyes. _(Why do you call **me**?)_

"Us waqt sirf tumhara hi khayal aya. Pata nahi aisa laga ke sirf tumhi ho jo..." Looking into those eyes, Jitu is unable to form a lie so he decides to go with truth. _(At that time I only thought of you. Don't know why that only you were the one who...)_

"Main kya?" He waits. Jitu breaks the eye contact and resumes to play with his food. Ayushmann doesn't know what comes over him, he puts his hand on Jitu's to stop it from moving empty fork around the plate. His fingers curl around Jitu's hand and with other hand he takes the fork away from him, placing it next to the plate. _(I what?)_

"Dekh idhar." When Jitu finally looks at him, Ayushmann's breathe hitches. His eyes are holding such strong emotion in them but he cannot identify that but he can see storm brewing in them waiting to set free from his eyes. _(Look here.)_

"Jitu." His name exhales from his lips as he is unable to understand what is going on but he knows something is happening and with that knowledge comes fear, a fear of losing Jitu and his heart starts to beat loudly.

_'Kiss him. Hold him. He is here for you, isn't he? He came all the way because he cares.'_ His treacherous mind keeps running this commentary, making him want to act in impulse and he so badly wants to give in, especially when Ayushmann is looking at him with so much affection and worry in his eyes, holding his hand.

"Jitu." The way his name exhales from his lips brings Jitu back and he takes his hand away from his hold before using it to pick up his plate and walking away to kitchen in hasty steps leaving Ayushmann stunned. Ayushmann is stunned when Jitu goes into the kitchen, he really thought they were having a moment. Not giving up he follows him in kitchen.

"Kya howa? Ab baat bhi nahi karni kya?" _(What happened? Now you don't want to talk?)_

"Aap yahan kyun aye?" Aap. Not 'tum' or 'tu'. When Jitu addresses him as Aap, Ayushmann knows it's not a good sign. He only does that when he is too angry or too hurt and Ayushman is unable to understand what did he do? Shouldn't he had come tonight? - abandoning all thoughts he thinks to reply in all honesty to the man who is standing with his back to him. _(Why did you come here?)_

"Tumhare liye." Jitu stills. Ayushmann goes behind him putting his arm around his shoulder to tug him in for a side hug. _(For you.)_

"Aise kaise ho sakta hai ke tum taqleef mein ho aur main na aayon?" Jitu smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes yet. But Ayushmann knows he will achieve that for sure before he leaves tonight. The thought of leaving and the fact their time is limited does not settle well with him, he had forgotten that now their time is always limited. _(How is it possible that you are in pain and I am not here?)_

"Kya peeyoge?" Jitu asks. Ayushmann looks at his face, studying it causing Jitu's face to go red. _(What will you drink?)_

"Tera chehra dekh ke lag raha hai strong se kam kuch nahi chalega aaj." ( _Judging from your face it seems like nothing will do less than something strong.)_

"Manoge nahi na?" _(You don't give you, do you?)_

"Jitu, you had a meltdown aur uske baad phirse avoid..."

"Main busy tha." _(I was busy.)_

"Avoid."

"Busy."

"Avoid." Before Jitu could say, Ayushmann speaks up again.

"I can keep going and you know that." Jitu looks at him, really looks at him and knows he is screwed. This man cares too much and Jitu doesn't know how to handle that. He never had this before. He smiles and Ayushmann knows he has won and grins in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it. I also have a question. This dinner scene, I had written an alternate version as well where dinner scene goes slightly different, where Jitu does not walk off and answers Ayushmann. It's not really part of story but just a different version if I had taken story in that way. Are you interested in reading that version please let me know, so I can post it.
> 
> Well... posted the alternate ending of this scene, here:  
> Confession  
> <https://archiveofourown.org/works/23410021>


	11. Chapter 11

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitus/Ayushmann**

Jitu takes out the strongest drink he has and they settle back on sofa and then Jitu doesn't hold back, all of it pours out of him. His family, their disagreements, disappointments, then of course, Ayushmann was aware about the issue during SMZS and now finally the phone call. Jitu tells him everything, things, feelings he necer told anyone. Things he wanted to say to his parents but never had guts. To share the times when he was disappointed in his family, when he felt alone. He doesn't hold back at all and he doesn't even know when Ayushmann had closed the gap between them and was holding onto Jitu as he poured his heart out.

Once he is done Jitu feels a heavy weight has been lifted off his chest which he had been carrying with him for years and didn't even realise how he was getting tired with carrying this weight all the time. For the first time, he feels light as a feather, able to breath normal.

Ayushmann had been a perfect listener and a companion and Jitu is so thankful for him, he has so many friends, even best friend but Ayushmann is something else. No one has been able to make him feel like Ayushmann, he just vented all which he never felt safe to do with anyone else. This man who is by his side rock solid as he breaks down, in the end when he is in pieces, Ayushmann is able to put him back together.

"Thank you." Jitu tells him once he has all cried up.

"Kis liye?" _(For what?)_

Ayushmann asks as he lightly creases his hair once again and Jitu just melts. The thing with Ayushmann he learnt early on was he is a very touchy feely person to the ones he is really close to and once they got comfortable, his touches, him being in Jitu's personal space almost all the time became less surprising and more of comfort Jitu would yearn for, silently. He cherished every single moment, every single touch of this man and some nights when he is alone and yearning for those touches, he would close his eyes and just play each of that memory in his head, pretending that it's real in this time.

"Anay ke liye, baat karne ke liye. Mujhe nahi pata tha ke mujhe kitni zaroorat thi yeh sab vent out karne ki." _(For coming and listening to me. I didn't know how much I actually needed this, to vent it all out.)_

"Jaanta tha esi liye toh aya tere paas. Us din phone par... uske baad mujhe sirf itna pata tha ke tujhse milna zaroori hai aur jald hi. Tu toh kabhi nahi ata toh main hi chala aya." Jitu is speechless at the fact how well his friend knows him and how much he did for him. _(I know and that's why I came to you. That day on phone... I just knew that I had to see you and see you soon. You would have never come to me so I just came to you.)_

Jitu doesn't say thanks again but his eyes are shining for Ayushmann.

"Oh God." Ayushmann groans breaking their moment.

"Kya howa?" _(What's wrong?)_

"Pata hi nahi chala itna time hogaya hai. Raat ke dhaai baj gaye aur pata bhi nahi chala." Time. Of course, they don't have time. _(Didn't realise that so much time has passed. It's 2.30am in the morning and didn't even realise it.)_

"Seriously yaar, tere saath hota hon toh time ka bilkul pata bhi nahi chalta." Jitu looks away and gives a sad smile. _(Seriously yaar, when I am with you time just flies by.)_

"Haan, mujhe bhi." A lump forms in his throat when he realises Ayushmann will be leaving now and he will be alone and devoid of being in this man's company. _(Yes, I feel the same.)_

"Tahira wait kar rahi hogi." Jitu says, more to remind himself than to Ayushmann. _(Tahira must be waiting.)_

"Nahi... woh soh gayi hogi, usko pata tha main yahan hon lekin, aaj tujhse milne ke chakkar mein shooting schedule change hogaya toh ab early shift hai, subah 5 baje set pe puhunchna hai." This causes Jitu to blink several time.

_(No... she must be sleeping, she knew I am here but I changed my scheduled to see you and have an early morning shift tomorrow. I have to be at set by 5am.)_

"Kya howa?" _(What happened?)_

"Tu pagal hai? Aise kyun kiya?" _(Are you mad? Why did you do this?)_

"Toh aur kya karta? Ab ke baad pata nahi kitne time baad mile. Seriously, this is one thing I really don't like about our jobs." _(What else could I have done? Don't know when we will meet after this. Seriously, this is one thing I really don't like about our jobs.)_

"Toh yahin ruk ja." Jitu doesn't know what causes him to say this but he didn't even register the words until they fell out of his mouth! Ayushmann just looks at him. ( _Just stay here then.)_

"Mera matlab abhi jayega toh 1 hour almost aur gaya, toh rest kab karna aur nikalna kab hai. Yahin thori dair rest karle phir nikal jana." Jitu is rumbling at this point but now that he has suggested, he doesn't feel like letting him go. He wants him to stay, he is being selfish but he wants him for bit more longer. _(What I mean it'll take you almost an hour to get then how will you rest and then go for shoot. Just rest here for the night and leave from here.)_

"Are you sure? Tujhe koi problem toh nahi hogi?" _(Are you sure? It wouldn't be a problem?)_

"Arre, mujhe kya problem hogi." Jitu laughs as if Ayushmann is being ridiculous. _(I have no problem.)_

"I mean, as long tujhe koi problem na ho..." Jitu adds and prays that he stays and Ayushmann seems to ponder over it for a moment. _(I mean as long you don't have problem...)_

"Theek hai, main Tahira ko message kardeta hon." Jitu's mind is screaming like a fan girl but he keeps his expressions schooled. _(Okay, let me message Tahira.)_

Jitu gives Ayushmann privacy as he goes to sort out other room for the other man. His heart is thumping so loudly, almost feeling giddy. Once he returns, Ayushmann tells him he has messaged Tahira and his driver, and Jitu tells him room is set.

Saying goodnight reluctantly Jitu lets him go and prepare to sleep as he needs to be up early and Jitu goes into his bedroom with his heart still beating so loudly. It feels so strange to have him so close and yet distance seems to much.

Half an hour goes by as he lies in his bed with no sleep in sight only thinking about the man on the other side of that wall. His phone suddenly rings and he comes out of his thoughts, not knowing who would call at such a late hour, when he looks at the caller id and it screams Ayushmann's name, he wants to almost run to his run.

"Kya howa? Tu theek hai?" He still doesn't calm down when he hears light laughter on phone. _(What's wrong? Are you alright?)_

"Itna kyun drama kar raha hai? Kuch nahi howa... bas neend nahi arahi thi." Jitu closes his eyes and head hits lightly on bed as smile appears on his face. _(Why are you being so dramatic? Nothing happened... I just can't sleep.)_

"Neend kyun nahi arahi?" _(What can't you sleep?)_

"Pata nahi." _(Don't know.)_

"Toh kya main kahaani sonao?" Jitu jokes suddenly wide awake and excited. _(So should I tell you a story?)_

"Teri awaaz se lag raha hai tu bhi jaag raha hai." Damn his observational skills. _(You sound like even you are wide awake.)_

"Haan bas try kar raha tha par abhi neend nahi arahi thi." _(Yes, I was just trying to sleep but no sleep.)_

"Kuch soch raha tha?" Jitu is caught off guard. _(You were thinking about something?)_

"Hmm.. nahi toh." He hears laughter on the other side. _(Hmm.. no.)_

"Hansa kyun?" _(Why did you laugh?)_

"Kuch nahi bas aise hi." He can almost see the mischievous smile through the phone. _(No reason.)_

"Mere dimaag mein kuch lines arahi thi toh woh likhne lag gaya aur ab neend hi nahi arahi." Ayushmann explains. _(There were few lines going through my mind, I got busy writing those so now I can't sleep.)_

"Accha... toh suna." Jitu is suddenly excited. Ayushmann thinks about it. _(Really... then share your lines.)_

"Aise sunaon?" ( _Share my thoughts just like this?)_

"Toh phir?" _(Then?)_

"Nahi.. I mean it's stupid, hum dono yahin hain aur phone pe baat kar rahe hain. Yahan aa phir sunata hon." _(No, I mean it's stupid... we both are here and still talking on phone. Come here and then I'll share.)_

Jitu doesn't need to be told twice as he stays on the phone and walks out of his room and towards Ayushmann's door. He knocks when Ayushmann says 'dramabaaz aja' though the phone and Jitu laughs, he finally hangs up the phone once he enters the room. The view in front of him renders him speechless. Ayushmann is sitting on the bed with blanket covering most of him but what isn't covering is half of his chest, completely naked. He is shirtless.

"Woh... mujhe adaat hai shirt ki bina..." He tries to explain when he sees Jitu looking at him. Jitu almost turns red and walks out of the door there and then. He shakes his head and Ayushmann calls him over, patting on the other side of bed. Jitu comes and sits on the other side, trying to control his emotions. _(I am... used to sleeping without shirt...)_

"Chal suna." Jitu manages to speak while trying hard not to pay attention to his chest which looks like kissed by sun in the dim light of lamp. _(Okay, now share your lines.)_

"Abhi bas soch hi raha hon kuch lines ayi hain mind mein." Suddenly Ayushmann feels bit nervous and that catches other man off guard. _(I was just thinking and few lines came to me mind.)_

"Haan." Jitu nods encouraging the other man. _(Yes.)_

_(Jab kabhi akela hota hon,_

_Youn samajh leta hon tum mere saath ho,_

_Guftagoo karte howe aakhon mein taare chamakte howe._

_Jab nazar hat'ti hai tumse, toh samjh ata hai,_

_Meri guftagoo toh hawaaon se thi.)_

("Sometimes when I am alone,

I pretend that you are here right by my side,

talking to me with sparkle in your eyes.

When I look away from your eyes, turns out,

I am having conversations with the wind.")

Ayushmann recites the thoughts to Jitu and the other man feels moved by them. Almost feels like Ayushmann is trying to describe the dilemma he is in and for a second he feels if he might have been caught.

"Kaise... khayal aya?" Jitu asks him and Ayushmann looks at him sheepishly. ( _How... did that come to you?)_

"Bas... aise hi khayal aya toh likh liya." ( _Just... like that it came to me so I wrote it down.)_

"Nahi... bohut hi khubsoraat hai." _(No... it's just really beautiful.)_

"You think so?" Jitu nods.

"Post karde, Twitter pe phir dekhna jab sab tareef kareinge." Jitu says. _(Post it on Twitter then you'll know when everyone will praise it.)_

"Nahi... yeh... thora personal hai." Ayushmann mutters and Jitu looks at him trying to read his face. _(No... this... is personal.)_

"Aise mat dekh... main har khayal nahi dalta social media par." His defensive tone causes Jitu to relax and laugh. _(Don't look at me like this, I don't post all my thoughts on social media.)_

Then Ayushmann opens up his private document and starts sharing his other thoughts with Jitu which he had written and not posted. Reading those, Jitu is speechless and once again marvel at this talented man. Is there something this guy isn't capable of doing? One thing and the other and another hour passes with both of them sitting comfortably on bed.

Ayushmann shares his latest song he is working on, a single and from there they go onto another discussion about music and one thing leads to another and then Ayushmann softly humming to few of his favourite songs and Jitu loosing himself in that melodious voice.

Jitu does not know when sleep takes over him. One minute Ayushmann is humming and soft instrumental playing on his ipad and other minute his eyes close to fully enjoy the soothing voice filling all around him and suddenly he is surrounded by a complete peace.

Ayushmann is awoken by his alarm ringing, the shrill noise is unbearable, he moves his hand to turn it off quickly not wanting to hear another second of this annoying noise. It takes him bit of time to fully wake up and once he does he feels a heavy pressure on his left side, his arm buried under a weight.

Turning his head slightly, Ayushmann's breathe stuck is his throat the the sight. Jitu's head carefully laying on his chest as he sleeps wearing the most beautiful smile he has ever seen, looking an absolute angel. Their bodies neatly aligned with each other and his other hand on Jitu's back and Jitu's hand thrown over his waist. Everything else seize to exist in that moment as Ayushmann silently captures this moment in his eyes.

He lies there for bit longer, unblinking eyes just watching Jitu sleep. His alarm vibrates this time, reminding him that time does not stop but he shuts it off once again to steal this moment from time. He pulls his phone, opening a camera he silently and carefully captures this moment forever. Knowing very well that the image has forged directly into his heart, his soul and will never be able to forget it. So many emotions are rising and he knows if he doesn't move now, he will never be able to move again. There are so many things, so many questions rising with his emotions going haywire.

Carefully he pulls his arm from underneath Jitu carefully tucking him who is looking so blissful. Ayushmann quietly gets ready and when his driver notifies he is here, Ayushmann prepares to leave but the thought of leaving is causing his heart to ache. He sits on bed once again after getting ready. He softly moves a string of hair from Jitu's forehead before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Jitu." He whispers his name like wind touching his ear, causing other man to stir.

"Jitu." He whispers again.

"Hmm." Eyes don't open but he stirs once again. Ayushmann, unable to help himself gently creases his face and finally those eyes open directly meeting his eyes.

"Main jaa raha hon." Ayushmann knows he should have given more explanation when the pair of eyes grow in shock and other man almost jumping up. _(I'm leaving.)_

"Driver agaya hai, mujhe set par puhunchna hai na shoot ke liye." Ayushmann explains to him softly. Jitu blinks few times trying to come out of sleepiness as his mind starts to work and finally he remembers. _(Driver is here, I need to get to set, for shoot.)_

"Oh."

"Haan." Jitu tries to sit up but Ayushmann's hand gently pushes him back on bed. _(Yes.)_

"Soh jaa... main bas bina bataye nahi jana chahta tha." In this moment Jitu wants nothing but to plead the other man not to go. _(Go back to sleep... I just didn't want to leave without telling you.)_

"Soh ja.." He repeats with more softness in his voice and eyes. _(Go to sleep.)_

"Uth kar message karna. Acha?" Jitu just nods unable to form words with emotions running high and brain still not fully functioning. Ayushmann runs his fingers through Jitu's hair who melts in his touch. "Go back to sleep." He says as he keep carding his fingers through his hair. When he feels his phone vibrating once again, Ayushmann finally whispers goodbye to Jitu who is almost gone back to sleep and quietly leaves the apartment. _(When you are up message me. Okay?)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes the first half of the story. From next chapter the second half of story begins! Drama, angst, confrontations, confessions and a lot more to come in second half. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Once he is in car and being driven towards the set and away from apartment, Ayushmann don't know but tears start falling from his eyes. Tears that he didn't even know were just sitting on his eyelids. A sob threatens to make his way out of his throat but he bites back of his hand to stop that making its way out. He does not know why its happening but he doesn't stop his tears from falling.

"Sahab, aap theek ho?" His drivers asks through the mirror. _(Sir, are you alright?)_

"Ha..haan." He manages to utter in broken voice. Taking out his sunglasses, Ayushmann wears them hiding his red bloodshot eyes which are still producing tears and he cannot stop them from leaving his eyes. Turning towards the window he let his head drop to a side, closing his eyes he tries to get some sleep but all he gets is flashes of the sleeping man he just left behind. _(Ye...yes.)_

When Ayushmann gets to set for shooting while he is getting prepped, he gets calls from Tahira ans guilt surges through him.

"Hey... baby. Set pe puhunch gaye?" ( _Hey... baby. You have reached at set?)_

"Ha..an. I mean set pe hi hon, shooting ke liye ready ho raha hon." Tahira notices there is heaviness in his voice. _(Ye..yes, I mean I am at the set, getting ready for the shooting.)_

"Sab theek hai na?" His concerning tone almost causes Ayushmann to break but he manages to hold. _(Is everything okay?)_

"I'm sorry." It slips out before he can stop himself.

"For what?" She is confused.

"Woh... raat ko Jitu ke hi ruk gaya hai jabke tumhe kaha tha ke time se ghar jayonga." Silence and then he hears Tahira laughing softly. (Actually, I stayed the night at Jitu's when I told you I'll be home on time.)

"Kya howa?" He asks in confusion. _(What happened?)_

"Tum toh aise keh rahe ho ke sleepover karna gunnah hai. Kya Ayushmann, maine kabhi bhi tumhe roka hai?" He stays quiet. _(You are saying as if sleepover is a crime. Have I really stopped you before, Ayushmann?)_

"Toh phir sorry kyun?" _(Then why are you saying sorry?)_

"Pata nahi." He replies distractedly, his mind is in too much mess right now. ( _I don't know.)_

"Kuch howa kya?" ( _Has something happened?)_

"Nahi toh..." ( _No.)_

"Jitu theek hai na?" ( _Is Jitu okay?)_

"Haan theek hai." _(Yes, he is okay.)_

"Aur tum?" _(And you?)_

"Main... bhi theek hon." _(I... am okay.)_

"Chalo maan leti hon." She replies with a smile. _(Okay, I believe you.)_

"I love you, Tahira." He is so sincere like she would ever doubt his love for her.

"I know, jaan and I love you too." He smiles.

"Feeling better?" He nods and then realises she can't see him.

"Haan." _(Yes.)_

"Chalo good... go do your work, I'll see you at home." With this she hangs up and for now Ayushmann feels his mind going calm.

Jitu is woken up by his phone which keeps buzzing, managing to find his phone from under the pillow, he opens one eye to barely see what's causing the buzzing. It's his reminder for the meeting which is this afternoon. Dismissing it he closes his eyes to go back to sleep. It's not even 5 minutes when he jolts up, looking at his surroundings to see where he is because it's not his bedroom but it's his guestroom. His mind is still hazy but it all starts to come back to him slowly, piece by piece.

 _'Last night did happen?'_ He looks for the answer in his mind and is filled with every single memory instantly. Ayushmann did come to see Jitu and yes they talked. Jitu finally opened up about his family, his fears and literally poured his heart out. It's surprising how he managed to keep his deepest secret locked away while being in Ayushmann's presence. He begins to remember last night and how close they were yet so far. Jitu does not want to have another breakdown over his feelings for Ayushmann but last night felt bit more special to him.

He doesn't know whether it was a dream or Ayushmann did wake him up before leave. _'Uth kar message karna.'_ Echos through his mind which is still replaying last night in his head. He does not remember falling asleep. He was listening to Ayushmann's singing when did he fall asleep? Next thing he remembers Ayushmann waking him up. His fingers in his hair.

Jitu lies there on bed and going through the entire event that had occurred still not fully believing whether it was real or a dream. Ayushmann was here and they slept on same bed. Jitu doesn't remember much after he slept but this was one of the best sleeps he had in a while. He looks up at his phone and finally decides sends a quick message to Ayushmann. But when he starts to write his mind is blank. What should he say? _'Im up?'_ Why? And why did Ayushmann asked him to message him when he wakes up. In the end he debates and sends a quick message. _'I hope you got to set on time, have fun shooting.'_ He doesn't feel its enough, so he sends another. _'Thank you for yesterday. I really needed that.'_ He wants to add I needed you but he deletes that and sends the text.

Jitu looks at his phone and the text he sent, feeling restless he sends another text _'good luck for the movie and make sure to get proper rest.'_ He sends again. There is so much he wants to say, so much he wants to add but he doesn't know where to begin and where to end. He's afraid, he might slip and it is not something he can afford. But he is unable to shake off last night; how perfect it was, he close they were. How natural it felt to have Ayushmann by his side even if it was just for a bit. He knows he can never have this.

Jitu hates himself for wanting this, for wanting Ayushmann. He tells himself that those stolen moments are enough but his heart doesn't agree, it wants more. Not wanting to get into this debate with himself, he decides not to think about it. He prepares for his meeting with investor and cant wait to get away from Mumbai. He is being coward he knows but he cant wait to leave and go back to Kota, to his Kota Factory.

Few hours later when Ayushmann finally has a break after shooting scenes back to back, he goes back into his trailer to relax and for some quite time. He has been getting a headache from past hour or so; taking painkillers he sits drops down on his coach and closes his eyes for a minute. As soon his eyes close, he finds himself back in Jitu's apartment when he was about to leave. He doesn't know why but Ayushmann was not able to walk away from Jitu without telling him, still not sure why his heart feels so heavy and burdened since the moment he stepped outside from that apartment and walked away from Jitu.

That reminds him of something, picking up the phone he finds 3 messages from Jitu sent over 2 hours ago.

_'I hope you got to set on time, have fun shooting.'_

_'Thank you for yesterday. I really needed that.'_

_'good luck for the movie and make sure to get proper rest.'_

Suddenly his mood lifts up and smiling he starts to reply to him.

_'Itna formal kyun ho raha hai? Abhi bhi neend mein hai kya?'_

_'Not having fun at shooting today. :('_

_'tu nahi hai na toh maza nahi araha.'_ He is about to hit send when stops himself just in moment and rereads the message. Is this what is happening to him? He is missing Jitu? But why? He just met him. Not knowing what else to add he just leaves at that and does not send anymore messages. Trying not to think about it while he is on set, Ayushmann tries to turn off his brain but it does not work, Jitu is still lurking around. Feeling defeated he stops trying to think about something else and let Jitu roam freely in his mind. _(You are not here so there is no fun.)_

Then his mind brings up a certain memory. **'Ayush.'** Ayushmann had begun to notice a certain pattern about Jitu and their conversations,it has been happening a lot since past few months it seems that sometimes Jitu would call him 'Ayush' when he is either too in deep of conversation or when Jitu isn't paying attention. Ayushmann has been noticing it but never said anything but now to think of it, the way Jitu would call him 'Ayush', there is a certain longing in there which he recently picked up and the familiarity of this nickname from Jitu's lips, it's like he has been calling him by this name for a long time but strangely Ayushmann had only heard it couple of times that too when Jitu was most unguarded.

'Ayush,' he says out loud to see how it feels but somehow it doesn't feel the same when Jitu calls him and now Ayushmann secretly waits for the moments when Jitu would make the slip. A part of him desperately wants an explanation for it and a part of him is scared that Jitu would close off again if he knows that Ayushmann knows. Before he can think further on this, a knock on his trailer door brings him out of his thoughts, asking him to come back to set as they are ready for him. Sighing, he gets up and goes back to set.

Jitu is getting ready for the meeting which is in 2 hours because the investor delayed it again but this time Jitu is okay with it because he still is not fully prepared for the meeting with his mind so raw with everything. He looks around his apartment and can see traces of Ayushmann everywhere he turns and suddenly he remembers when Ayushmann had first spent the night at his apartment. Yes, it happened before, few months ago, when everything was so new and raw and they were on their toes all the time while promoting for the movie. A smile appears on his face as Jitu remembers that night that really brought a change in their dynamic, in their friendship; in a way that was a beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the second half begins now. :) And yes, another flashback on its way. ;) There will be quite few flashbacks in this half. :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback!

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

**[29th January 2020, Jitu's Apartment - Mumbai]**

It's been a great but hectic evening, the award shows are like this but Jitu would lying if he said he didn't had fun. Even though, he has little faith in award shows watching them is fun. through social media Jitu is just seeing all the posts from the award shows he is about to close it when something catches his eye, it's a video of Ayushmann and Ranveer Singh.

Jitu knows it too well how Ayushmann always talk about Ranveer Singh and admires his work. Clicking on the video he sees Ayushmann kissing Ranveer Singh and a surge of jealousy flows through him but what happens next breaks his heart when he hears Ayushmann saying to media _'Esko lena chahiye tha Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan mein.'_ The jealousy turns into shock turning into anger and finally settling for absolute sadness. _(Should have taken him in Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan.)_

Jitu feels betrayed and God it hurts to hear Ayushmann say that. He tries to debate that he was joking, still it hurts too much. Then he sees a message popping up from Ayushmann, he sees it out of habit 'without reading it he snaps his phone shut and lies down, trying to call himself.

It's not even 2 minutes passed when another message pops up, then another, Jitu does not reply to any of them. Then 5 minutes after the last message his phone starts ringing, flashing Ayushmann's name. Tears form in his eyes as he angrily picks up the phone, cuts the call and switches off his phone.

On the other side, Ayushmann is surprised to see first Jitu read his message but didn't reply and then rest of his messages ignored and then cutting his call. Something is not right, he doesn't know what to do. "This number is currently switched off please try again later." Is the message he gets when he tries to call again, Ayushmann sits there in confusion.

So Ayushmann tries to call him again next day as well but again, his messages, calls were gone unanswered. Jitu had spent most of his day ignoring calls and messages by Ayushmann and each time his name flashes up on his phone, Jitu feels all those emotions surging up again. Sending a quick message to his team that he wants to be alone for a bit, he switches off his phone once again as he tries to deal with this mess. He can ignore Ayushmann today but what happens tomorrow when they continue their press tour for SMZS. How will he sit next to him and pretend he is not hurting, not feeling betrayed.

As the day goes by, Ayushmann's heart keeps sinking when Jitu's phone is again switched off and no news from him at all, no update on social media, nothing. He waits and waits, keep glancing at his phone for something but nothing. Ayushmann ends up calling Gajraj sir to ask if he heard from Jitu who tells him that Jitu had spoken to the team and said he wanted to alone for sometime. This makes Ayushmann worry and bit angry that Jitu is able to tell the team but not him.

Still he feels bothered about the fact Jitu is not answering to his calls. Day turns into night and the worry is eating up Ayushmann, unable to take it he decides to visit him. It is only when he is halfway through the city he realises its 1.30am. Still not caring about time, Ayushmann makes his way to Jitu's place. When 2 am someone rings Jitu's doorbell, he almost decides not to answer it but when it seems someone has glued their finger to bell, annoyingly he opens the door to find Ayushmann at his door step looking stressed.

"Ayushmann..." Jitu is speechless and confused where Ayushmann is looking angry, glaring at Jitu who moves aside as Ayushmann comes on.

"Tum yahan?" Jitu says after closing the door and Ayushmann continues glares at him and it angers Jitu because he is the one who is angry. _(You here?)_

"Na message ka jawab, na koi phone call ka answer, phone bhi switched off kar rakha hai toh aur kya karta?" Shaking his head Jitu walks away from Ayushmann who looks at him confusion. ( _No answer to my messages, you are not taking my calls, phone also switched off, whatt else am I supposed to do?)_

"Abhi bhi koi jawab nahi doge?" _(You will still not answer to my question?)_

"Kya jawab don aur kyun?" Jitu replies back in anger and Ayushmann is slightly taken aback. ( _What should I answer and why?)_

"Jitu kya baat hai? Kuch howa hai kya?" Ayushmann finally asks him and Jitu's shoulder fall slightly not knowing what to say. Ayushmann comes closer to Jitu. _(What's wrong? Did something happen?)_

"Kya baat hai? Mujhse khafah ho? Agar ho bhi toh batao toh sahi kya baat hai? Team ko bata sakte ho ke tum theek ho aur mujhe nahi kyun?" _(What's wrong? You are upset with me? If you are, still talk to me, tell me what's wrong? You can tell the team you are okay but not me?)_

"Koi baat nahi hai." _(Nothing is wrong.)_

"Jab pata hai mujhse jhoot nahi bol sakte toh kyun try karte ho? Batao na." _(When you know you can't like to me then why you try?)_

"Kyun? Aap kon ho? Koi special ho? Ke main aapko har baat bataon." 'Aap' Jitu is calling him Aap and it's a big red alert for Ayushmann because he only calls him aap when he is truly angry and hurt and it scares Ayushmann. ( _Why? Who are you? Someone special? That I share everything with you?)_

"Jitu, please... talk to me, kya baat hai. Main itni door se aya..." It just adds fuel to fire. _(Jitu, please... talk to me, what's going on. I came this far...)_

"Toh kya ehsaan kiya hai? Mujhe nahi chahiye aapka ehsaan, chale jayein." _(So you did a favour on me? I don't need any favours from you, just go.)_

"The fuck, Jitu! Have you lost your mind?" Ayushmann looks at him ready to lose his patience and Jitu looks at him with pure anger.

"Yes. I have lost my mind." Ayushmann looks away and sighs deeply, all this is making him exhausted.

"Door lock nahi hai, good night." With this Jitu walks into his bedroom and slams the door, leaving Ayushmann shocked in living room. _(Door is unlocked, good night.)_

"I'm not leaving! Jab tak baat nahi hogi main yahin hon." He screams as he finally falls on sofa, exhausted. _(I'm not leaving! I'm not leaving until we talk.)_

Meanwhile Jitu breakdowns in his room, anger, shock, pain, his hidden crush all surfacing and making difficult for him to see things clearly or even think. All he knows that Ayushmann is on the other side of this door and Jitu doesn't know whether he wants to kill him or kiss him. It's all too much for him. Half an hour later Jitu can still hear Ayushmann sitting on his sofa and Jitu knows that Ayushmann can be as stubborn as he wants and what hurts him that Ayushmann has the guts to be angry at him when he is at fault.

Without thinking about his actions, turning on his phone, he sends the link of that post to Ayushmann before throwing his phone on bed and starts to pace. Ayushmann's phone vibrates, he opens to find a message from Jitu, a link. He turns to look towards Jitu's bedroom and door is still locked. He clicks on the link and video starts to play. Jitu can tell the exact moment Ayushmann realises what's wrong because the moment in his apartment goes still.

'Oh shit,' is first thought of Ayushmann once he realises what the issue is and suddenly all his anger turns into a deep regret. He didn't even meant it, it was just in the moment it slipped and now he is bearing the consequences. Dropping his phone, Ayushmann runs towards Jitu's bedroom and stops at door not knowing what to say. Jitu's pace comes to halt when he notices a shadow under the door. "Jitu..." Ayushmann calls out quietly.

"I'm sorry. Mera woh matlab nahi tha." Ayushmann tries to apologise and explain but the damn door is between them. ( _I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.)_

"Jitu trust me, mera woh matlab nahi tha. Please... I'm so sorry." Jitu's heart begins to melt but the hurt and pain is still there. Of course he would say this now, they still have promotions to do and movie hasn't released yet. _(Jitu, trust me, that's not what I meant. Please... I'm so sorry.)_

"I am so sorry, Jitu. It was a joke... I didn't mean..." He is unable to complete his sentence as the door opens suddenly and reveal Jitu.

"Joke? Main aapke liye joke ban gaya?" His voice and words break Ayushmann's heart who is shaking his head, trying hard to explain but at loss. ( _Joke? Am I a joke to you?)_

"Nahi Jitu, aisa nahi hai..." _(No, Jitu... it's not like that.)_

"I know ke main koi bada actor nahi hon aur na hi Ranveer Singh ko replace kar sakta hon par..." _(I know, I am not some big shot actor nor I can replace Ranveer Singh but...)_

"Jitu please..." Not wanting to hear end of that sentence Ayushmann pleads him. His heart is getting heavy under the burden of his words as the result is finally sinking in as he takes in Jitu's face which shows how heartbroken he feels and how true his words feel. He stands there, shocked and repulse as he thinks how can Jitu even think like this. Jitu's eyes tear up and he turns away to angrily wipe away any sign of his pain and Ayushmann's heart breaks.

"Tu aisa soch bhi kaise sakta hai?" _(How can you even think like that?)_

"Meri baat ka woh matlab nahi tha." _(I didn't mean it like that.)_

"Toh kya matlab tha? Han? Mana ke main first choice nahi tha par..." _(Then what did you mean? Yea? I know, I am not the first choice but...)_

"God damn it Jitu, aisa nahi hai. Tum first nahi balke best choice ho, and the final choice." Ayushmann doesn't know how to explain to this wonderful man what he is and how much he means to Ayushmann. The way Jitu brought Aman to life no one could. _(God damn it Jitu, it's not like that. You are not first but the best choice and the final choice.)_

"Yaar main, behak gaya tha. Main... tujhe pata hai na ke mere mouh par filter nahi hai." He looks at Jitu with pleading eyes who is still waiting for an explanation. _(I was talking nonsense. I... you know that I don't have a filter on my mouth.)_

"Aik baat ki soh wazahat de sakta hon par yaar, please, I'm really sorry, tumhe meri wajah se itni taqleef hoyi." _(I can give hundred explanations of this thing but, I'm really sorry, you are hurting because of me.)_

Rubbing his eyes Jitu sighs and sits on the foot of his bad, Ayushmann instantly moves coming in front of Jitu, he goes on his knees, holding Jitu's hands to remove them from his eyes. Now seeing him upclose he realises how red Jitu's eyes are. Was he crying? The thought hits Ayushmann.

"Mera Aman hai tu aur woh koi aur kabhi nahi hi sakta." Ayushmann says as he makes Jitu look into his eyes. The sincerity in his eyes tells Jitu he isn't lying. _(You are my Aman and no one else can be my Aman.)_

"Tu soch kaise sakta hai ke es Kartik ka Aman koi aur ho sakta hai? Jitu, you may not need this film but this film needed you." Jitu's heart flips at this. _(How can you even think that this Kartik's Aman can be someone else? Jitu, you may not need this film but this film needed you.)_

"Maine agar Ranveer ko woh kaha bhi hai lekin eska yeh matlab nahi ke woh mere Aman ke liye. Mera Aman sirf tu tha aur humesha tu hi rahega." Ayushmann presses their foreheads together and let Jitu process his words. _(If I said something to Ranveer that doesn not mean it was for my Aman. My Aman is only you and will always be only you.)_

"Mujhe laga..." Jitu speaks after a while. _(I thought...)_

"Kya laga?" Jitu doesn't know how to voice his fears, his jealousy but Ayushmann is able to read it on him. _(What did you think?)_

"Pagal hai tu jo tujhe lagta hai ke tu replacable hai, because Jitu you are irreplaceable." Ayushmann holds his gaze as he says this and Jitu's emotions flip as he feels the weight of other man's words. He feels dumb all of sudden for letting his fears and jealousy take over him. But when he saw that, all of his fears came crashing down on him. This proximity between them, Jitu feels like closing it. _(You are crazy, if you think you are replaceable, because Jitu, you are irreplaceable.)_

"Im sorry." Ayushmann says but Jitu shakes his head.

"I'm sorry." Ayushmann smiles and closes the remaining gap between them as wraps his arms around him, pulling Jitu into a tight hug.

Jitu melts in his arms, all of his pain and anger shedding away. Ayushman feels so stupid for not realising this soon he should have seen this. He knows what this movie means to him and due to his careless behaviour tonight Jitu is questioning his worth and credibility and all because of him. Gently pulling away but not breaking away from his arms Ayushmann brings his lips to Jitu's forehead as he presses a soft kiss there as he makes a vow to himself of never hurting this man again.


	14. Chapter 14

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

**[Present Time]**

Jitu still remembers that night as clear as last night and today he find himself laughing at that but in that moment it had hurt him a lot. He cannot believe he let his jealousy take over him like this, but that night Ayushmann coming to see him, clearing misunderstandings and staying with him till early morning and did not leave until Jitu was okay, they were okay. It should have been his first indication about his feelings but Jitu continued to live in denial until it was not possible for him to deny it anymore and look, where it has brought them today.

Shaking off all the thoughts Jitu prepares and leaves for the meeting with his investor. He really needs them on board and right now he can't afford any distractions.

Jitu is on his way when he checks his phone and finds messages from Ayushmann. Talk about distractions and here the are; Jitu almost resists from reading them but it only makes him think harder, sighing he opens the messages.

_Itna formal kyun ho raha hai? Abhi bhi neend mein hai kya?' Jitu smiles at this, shaking his head. (Why are you being so formal? Still sleeping?)_

_'Not having fun at shooting today. :('_ And the smile vanishes and worry takes over.

_'Kya howa?' (What's wrong?)_

_Sab theek hai na?'_ Jitu waits for messages but gets no reply. _'Of course, he is shooting.'_ Jitu gets to the office and banishes all the other thoughts as he goes in for the meeting. _(Is everything okay?)_

The day at shoot is hectic and seems way longer than usual or maybe Ayushmann is just really tired, he doesn't know. Finally it's the end of his day, exhausted he quietly packs and leaves for home. On his way he checks his phone and finds messages from Jitu yet again, he can hear the worry tone from his messages itself and it makes him smile. He begins to type but suddenly his mind goes blank. What should he say? What can he say, that he is a complete mess since his visit, the he is still missing Jitu and that is not even the weird part.

 _'Kuch theek nahi hai... par samajh nahi araha ke kyun theek nahi hai.'_ His finger hovers over 'send' but he doesn't send it, deleting it he types again. _'Aisa tere saath bhi howa hai kabhi ke duniya chal rahi ho aur tum kahin aik dum se tham gaye? Mujhe lag raha hai main tham gaya hon raasta mein aur raasta chala jaa raha hai.'_ He re-reads his own message in shock not knowing why and how he just wrote that. Is that what he is feeling? But why? What changed? Without deleting he just closes the messages app and opens up camera app and the first picture he finds is of Jitu, peacefully sleeping this morning. Why does it feel like as if years has passed since this? He feels his eyes get moist again, heart feeling heavy no idea what the hell is going on. ( _Nothing is alright... but don't know why I am feeling like this.) (Does this happen to you too that you feel you are stuck while the world keeps moving around you? I feel as if I have come to a halt in a midway while the road keeps on moving.)_

"Sahab?" The voice of his driver brings him back. ( _Sir?)_

"Haan?" _(Yes?)_

"Hum ghar puhunch gaye hain." The confusion in the driver's voice makes Ayushmann looks around and they are in the parking lot. When did they reach, Ayushmann has no idea. Muttering a thanks, Ayushmann makes his way home. _(We have arrived home.)_

The meeting went well and Jitu leaves the office in better mood, informing the team in TVF as well about the outcome for their new project which feels a lot more relief. He is one more day here before he leaves for Kota to resume the shooting for Kota Factory. Going through his phone Jitu feels disappointed when he notices Ayushmann hasn't replied to his messages causing him to worry about the man more. ' _Pata nahi kya baat hoyi hai? I hope ke woh theek ho.'_ Jitu debates over sending another message in the ends he doesn't send any message. _(No idea what's wrong, I hope that he is alright.)_

The moment Tahira sees Ayushmann she knows something is very wrong, it almost seems like Ayushmann is barely holding himself together, without saying anything she just wraps him in a long, warm hug. They stay like that for sometime before Ayushmann pulls away and goes to freshen up without saying anything. Touching her shoulder she can still feel traces of his warm tears. She looks into the direction where Ayushmann has gone while her finger feels those tears.

Ayushmann is awfully quiet during the dinner, more closed off, playing with his food more than he is eating. Spending most of her life with this man, Tahira knows him better than he knows himself.

"Khana itna bhi bura nahi bana hai ke khaya hi na jaye." Her failed attempt at joke causing his fake attempt to smile. _(Food isn't as bad that its inedible.)_

"Nahi, bas bhook nahi hai." He is not here. Physically he is, mentally Ayushmann is somewhere else. _(No, I am just not hungry.)_

"Jitu..." The way his hand freezes in midair, body going stiff he looks at her with wide eyes.

"Kya howa? Main toh pooch rahi hon, kaisa hai woh?" _(What happened? I was just asking how he is.)_

"Tumne aaj subah bhi poocha tha." _(You asked me this morning.)_

"Kya?" ( _What?)_

"Jitu kaisa hai?" _(You asked me how is Jitu?)_

"Itne defensive kyun ho rahe ho? Haan toh phir pooch rahi hon, baat toh hoyi hogi din mein." _(Why are you being defensive? I am just asking because you must've spoken to him during the day.)_

"Nahi toh..." _(No, I haven't...)_

"Oh."

"I think I'm done." Before it could proceed any further, Ayushmann pushes away the food, getting up, he places a kiss on Tahira's forehead and walks away, leaving her on table irked.

Jitu feels restless as he keeps checking his phone every few minutes but nothing, no message or call from Ayushmann, so many times he types and deletes the messages.

_'Tu theek hai na? I know shootings kaafi stressful ho sakti hain aur tumne proper rest bhi nahi kiya. Take some rest.' (You are alright? I know shootings can be stressful and you didn't had proper rest too. Take some rest.)_

It's not even a minute when he gets a reply back. Finally.

' _Sorry dara diya kya? Bas aaj din thora ajeeb sa tha. Maybe you are right, I need rest.'_ Jitu re-reads the message several time and something feels different, a miss. _(Sorry if I scared you? It's just day was bit weird. Maybe you are right, I need rest.)_

_'Arre nahi aisa nahi hai. Chal, day is almost over. New day, new beginning, right? :)' (It's not like that.)_

_'Of course, Mr. Cliched Kumar. *salute emoji*'_ Jitu laughs at this.

' _Esme kya cliched hai?' (What's so cliched about this?)_

 _'Aacha woh bhi mujhe batana parega. Mr. Writer. *raised eyebrow emoji'._ His grin keeps spreading, his fingers moving faster, typing away without thinking. _(Oh so I have to explain that to you now?)_

 _'Toh phir aur kya kahon? I was trying to make you feel better.' 'Shit,'_ he tries to do unsent but too late as Ayushmann has read it. _(So what else to say? I was trying to make you feel better.)_

 _'You always make me feel better.'_ This message makes Jitu's heart leap in happiness.

' _Thank you. :)'_ Is the next message.

 _'Thank you, kis liye? I am always here for you.'_ Jitu types away and thinking whether he said too much, he doesn't get another reply so he assumes that maybe Ayushmann is gone to sleep or he is feeling better. Knowing that he is able to make Ayushmann feel better in bad days makes Jitu happy though his heart wishes that no sorrow comes Ayushmann's way. Jitu can be happy knowing that Ayushmann is happy in his life, that's all he wants. 'Liar,' a small part of his mind accuses him, knowing deep down the darkest secrets he harbours for the other man but he ignores that because he cannot risk what he was with Ayushmann at any cost.

His mood is lifting when he sees messages from Jitu, even just few messages exchanged between them and Ayushmann is already in a better mood, smiling. Wven though his mind is a mess, a loud noisy mess but Jitu managed to buffer it even if momentarily there is peace.

"I think it's time." Ayushmann was in mid typing the message when Tahira's voice breaks his thoughts.

"Hmm?" He looks at her in confusion.

"Hume baat karni chahiye." _(We should talk now.)_

"Kis baare mein?" _(About what?)_

"Tumhare baare mein, **_Jitu_** ke baare mein. **_Tum dono_** ke baare mein." The phone drops from his hand on his lap and Ayushmann looks at Tahira in shock. The empathise on 'Jitu' and 'Tum Dono' isn't lost on him. _(About you. About Jitu. About the two of you.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... the story is moving, confrontations begin. ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tahira confronts Ayushmann about Jitu.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

"Matlab?" _(What do you mean?)_

"Oh come on, don't give me that look. You know what I am talking about." She laughs but the clueless look on his face makes her re-think this again.

"Tum abhi Jitu se baat kar rahe thay na?" She asks calmly. Ayushmann nods curiously. _(You were talking to Jitu just now, weren't you?)_

"Tumhe kaise pata?" Tahira doesn't know whether to laugh or cry; the irony of this situation is not lost on her. Rubbing her forehead she sighs. _(How do you know?)_

"Kya baat hai, Tahira? You are scaring me." _(What's the matter, Tahira? You are scaring me.)_

"I'm scaring you? Really? You are scaring me, Ayushmann." Her outburst alarms him, he shifts closer to her. She looks at him, really looks at him not knowing where to begin or how to begin.

"Main jaanti hon." _(I know everything.)_

"Kya jaanti ho?" Okay, so clearly this approach will not get her anywhere anytime soon. For the first time Tahira is unable to decide whether Ayushmann is really playing dumb or he really is clueless. She decides to start from the start, it might be easier. _(What do you know?)_

"Jitu tumhare liye bohut special hai. Haina?" _(Jitu is very special for you, right?)_

"Haan. Of course, woh bohut special hai. Mera dost hai. Sabse acha dost." _(Yes. Of course, he is very special. He is my friend. My best friend.)_

"Itni jaldi woh sabse acha dost kaise ban gaya, Ayushmann?" He opens his mouth to reply but his brain goes blank, searching for an answer he looks at her who is looking at with expressions screaming ' _I can't believe this is happening_ '. _(How come he became your best friend in such short period of time?)_

"Matlab? Jitu ke saath aik... aik..." _(Meaning? What I have with Jitu is... is...)_

"Chemistry hai, haina?" _(Chemistry, right?)_

"Come on yaar, tum bhi jaanti hon ke aisi chemistry bohut kam logon ke saath hoti hai. Jitu... he... he gets me, you know." She smiles sadly at him. _(Come on, yaar, you know that chemistry like this you find rarely with people. Jitu... he... he gets me, you know.)_

"Yehi baat pehle tum kabhi mere baare mein kehte thay." _(You used to say same thing about me.)_

"Tum yeh kya keh rahi ho, Tahira?" _(What are you talking about, Tahira?)_

"You really have no clue, right?"

"Meri kuch samajh nahi araha ke tum achanak yeh kya keh rahi ho." _(I have no idea what are you are on about all of sudden.)_

"Oh really? Chalo, aaj ki hi baat karte hain. Aaj poora din tum bilkul khamosh thay, mere paas hokar bhi mere paas nahi thay. Aise lag raha hai ke apna aap wahin chodh aye, Jitu ke paas." This make Ayushmann freeze in his place, unable to think, unable to move. _(Oh really? Let's talk about today. Whole day today you have been so quiet, you were with me but nowhere with me. It felt like you left yourself there, with Jitu.)_

"Aur yeh abhi ehsaas howa jab tumhara chehra dekha usay baat karte howe. Jab bhi Jitu se baat karte ho toh tumhari aankhon mein aik alag chamak hoti hai." _(And I came to this realisation now when I saw your face when you were talking to him. Whenever you talk to Jitu, you have a sparkle in your eyes.)_

"Yeh sab..." _(All this...)_

"Yeh sab kya? Bolo." But he is unable to form a proper thought, his mind is all over the place, he looks away from Tahira. _(All this what? Tell me.)_

"You have strong feelings for Jitu, Ayushmann." She decides to rip the band aid off, it might make it easier.

"What the hell, Tahira. Tum aisa... kaise... aisa kuch nahi hai." _(What the hell, Tahira. Whatever... you... are thinking it's nothing like that.)_

"Kisse jhoot bol rahe ho? Mujhse? Khud se?" _(Who are you lying to? Me? Yourself?)_

"Damn it, Tahira. I'm not cheating on you." He wants to scream at how she could even think like this about him.

"I know, baby you are not cheating on me. But you are cheating on yourself by denying what's right in front of you." How the hell she can be so calm while telling him he has feelings for someone else.

"Main shuru se hi jaanti thi, sab dekh rahi thi wait kar rahi thi tum akar mujhse khud kahoge. Main wait karti rehi aur tumhe bar bar Jitu ke paas dekhti rahi. Uske saath jab bhi hote toh duniya hi bhool jana, bilkul aise hi hojate ho tum." He listens to her silently not knowing what to say, the guilt flows through his body again.

_(I have known since the beginning, I was watching everything but was just waiting for you to come and talk to me. I kept waiting and watching you go back to Jitu every time. Whenever you are with him you forget about rest of the world.)_

"Main shikayat nahi kar rahi bata rahi hon. Ab tak soch rahi thi ke tum baat kyun nahi kar rahe mujhe kya pata tha ke tum khud hi ajaan ho apne jazbaat se." _(i am not complaining but telling you the truth. I kept thinking till now why weren't you talking to me, I didn't know that you were unknown to your own feelings.)_

"Tum ghalat samajh rahi ho." He pleads her. _(You are misunderstanding this.)_

"Tum khudko samajhne nahi de rahe ke tumhare andar kya chal raha hai, par mujhe tumhe tumse zayada ache se jaanti hon, tumhare dil ka haal tumse behtar jaanti hon. Jis din se tum dono ko pehli baar saath mein dekha tha mujhe ehsaas tha ke woh tumhare liye kitna special hoga. Uska dard tumhe taqleef deta hai, uski hansi tumhe pagalon ki tarhan khush kar deti hai, usay chah kar bhi dorr nahi raha jata na?"

_(You are not letting yourself understand what is going on within you, but I know you better than yourself, know matter of your hearts better than you. When I saw you both together for first time I had a feeling that he will be someone very special in your life. His pain causes you pain, his smile drives you insanely happy, you try but you can't stay away from him.)_

She watches him process her words eyes going back and fourth and she can see him slipping from her once again as Jitu's memories flash through his eyes one by one.

"Tahira, I love you." He desperately tries to convince her.

"I know." She replies back with a sad smile.

"But you are also falling for him and I know that. I can see that." Her heart breaks as she says that and tears fall from his eyes as he opens his mouth to deny with everything in him but no sounds come out. No words. No denial. Nothing.

"Kyun kar rahi ho tum aisa? Kyun bata rahi ho mujhe yeh sab? We could have lived without..." _(Why are you doing this? Why are you telling me all this? We could have lived without...)_

"Aise nahi hota hai na, Ayushmann. Jab indar ka barhta toofan bahar anay lage toh chah kar bhi usay ruk nahi sakte." There is odd, heavy silence between them, tears and heartbreaks. _(It doesn't work like that, Ayushmann. When the growing storm within you starts coming to life you are unable to stop it.)_

"It's just an infatuation, Tahira. It'll go away." His words do not match with his expressions.

"Meri aankhon mein dekho aur yehi baat phirse kaho." He looks at her but is unable to say anything, his heart feels so heavy, his breathing gets difficult it feels as if someone put tons of weight on his chest and asking him to breath. Jitu's face keep flashing through his mind. Closing his eyes he tries to banish Jitu out of mind, his heart but all he can see and hear is Jitu, his breakdown on phone, their last night, this morning. He is back in Jitu's apartment, in bed with Jitu sleeping peacefully on his chest, looking at him at peace warms his heart. _(Look me in the eye and tell me this.)_

"Dekha na... aur ab bhi kahoge ke sirf infatuation hai?" He is brought out of his memories into harsh reality, opening his eyes he looks at Tahira in shock and guilt. _(See... you will still say it's just an infatuation?)_

"Main usay bhoola donga, yeh sab... bas waqt'ti hai. It's always you, Tahira." The fear of losing her, his home, family all comes crashing down on him and Ayushmann feels he is being being forcefully held under water struggling to breath. Seeing this, Tahira holds him tightly in her arms, he collapses in her arms as he silently cries. _(I will forget about him, all this... it will fade. It's always you, Tahira.)_

"I am so sorry, Tahira. I am so sorry." He keeps repeating ' _sorry_ ' and ' _main bhool jaonga_ ' between the sobs, causing Tahira to cry with him, for him. She knows this isn't the end but a beginning. This is not what she was expecting when she decided to confront Ayushmann; she did not expected him to be living in his denial so much that he is unable to see the truth. She doesn't know where they will go from here but she knows that things are about to get very hard and painful.

She looks at broken Ayushmann, clinging onto her like an afraid child. She knows this conversation isn't over yet but she is going to let Ayushmann pull himself together and face the truth before they have another conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the first confrontation between the two. Story isn't long now but definitely will be surely picking up the pace.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter of Heartstrings. Not many chapters left now, only few to more to go (4 or 5 max, I guess). This is heavily from Ayushmann's point of view as a aftermath as he comes face to face with his feelings for Jitu.

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

It's been over a month since Tahira had confronted him about Jitu and turning his world upside down. Because know that he has finally come face to face with his feelings for Jitu he can't ignore it and to hear from your wife that makes it even worse. They haven't spoken about this since that night but he hasn't been able to think about anything else since then.

And Jitu... God, Ayushmann does not even know what to say to him since that night he has barely spoken few words with Jitu, keeping his texts minimal and missing his calls only to send apology reply with the same excuse always 'busy with shoot' and bless Jitu's innocent soul, he keeps believing every word of Ayushmann and that really kills him but he doesn't know what else to do. It's good thing Jitu had been busy with Kota Factory shooting and the post-production work of it but Ayushmann doesn't know what he will do when they will come face to face.

That is not something he is ready to deal with yet it has took him all this time to accept the fact that he might have feelings for Jitu more than a friend and then to have them crush them within him so he can prove to Tahira that he will not act on them because it's just an infatuation but now he is slowly coming to realise that it's more than that, maybe even more than he can imagine and that is scaring him so much. Not only he could lose his family but he could also lose Jitu which he cannot afford to lose. Realising Jiitu's value in his life also brought the dilemma that he cannot lose him and desperately need him in his life and for that to happen he continue needs to be his friend more than anything else and for this to happen, he needs to hide and crush his feelings. But of course, it's harder than said.

The more he tries to forget about him the more he thinks about Jitu. It seems like recently everything and anything would remind him of Jitu. And then there is Jitu himself, who it seems like truly wants to punish Ayushmann for ignoring him, maybe he is onto him. Because Jitu is slowly releasing some of behind the camera shots of Shubh Mangal Zayada Saavdhaan shots that includes their picture taken at mandap which seemed so innocent yet so intimate. Ayushmann felt the urge to call Jitu there and then and ask him has he lost it or is he trying to get back at Ayushmann. _'You think so highly of yourself, what makes you think Jitu's life revolves around you?'_ The dark and dirty voice within him whispers and Ayushmann's resolve to contact Jitu breaks there and then but it doesn't stop him taking trip down the memory lane.

Take after take, can be tiresome especially when it's an emotional scene, they had been trying to film the mandap scene but for some reason Hitesh wasn't getting exactly what he wanted so they had to do that scene several times.

"Cut, let's take 5. Mandap se phirse roll kareinge, okay?" Hitesh says and all agree. Ayushmann is already feeling tired, especially when he is in saree and ghungat. Everyone moves around as Hitesh speaks to cameraman about what will be next direction. Jitu is still sitting in mandap. Sighing, Ayushmann lifts off ghungat and Jitu can see tiredness clearly on his face. _(Cut, let's take 5. We'll roll from the Mandap scene, okay?)_

"Bas thori aur dair, scene almost hogaya hai." _(Just a little bit longer, scene is almost done.)_

"I know, bas yeh saree aur ghungaat..." Ayushmann fiddles with paloo and Jitu laughs. _(I know, it's just this saree and veil...)_

"Waise, kaafi cute lag rahe ho, saree mein." This causes Ayushmann to smile, who instantly lays his head down on Jitu's lap who is not even a bit surprised, clearly used to Ayushmann invading his space all the time. _(By the way, you look really cute in saree.)_

"Aisa kya?" He wiggles and Jitu just laughs, his hand moving on its own accord as it settles on Ayushmann's head lightly, who closes his eyes at the touch and lets out a sigh. _(Is that so?)_

Opening his eyes he meets with Jitu's warm gaze and smile. He wants to say something but right now he feels a certain peace taking over him so he settles with silence and let Jitu take care of him as his fingers slowly massage his hair and Ayushmann stays in the position.

"Bas thori dair aur." Jitu assures him. Suddenly he is struck by a thought _'yes, only a bit more and then film will be wrapped up_ ', which brings sadness into his mood. He looks down at his partner, who is looking onward, lost in his thought, looking absolutely stunning even in a saree, he is unable to contain his smile. ( _Just a little longer.)_

For Ayushmann that was a stolen moment between the chaos was more intimate than anything else and maybe that's why he feels slightly on edge that how Jitu just put that out there for world to see and talk about it. He saves that picture on his phone anyways just for memory, another image added into his SMZS folder mostly known as Jitu's folder. His memories of their time together and still by far the best picture is that one stolen memory he had clicked in Jitu's apartment when they had last met. Ayushmann has lost count on how many times he went back to that picture recently each time telling himself it's just last time, one more time, it's last for sure but of course, his heart knows it's not the last time.

It seems like not just Jitu but maybe universe is against him too because unknowingly he stumbles upon one thing or the other that would remind him of Jitu. It makes Ayushmann's head spin, how the hell is it even possible? At this point Ayushmann is convinced that he is going crazy because maybe that's what happens when you try so hard to forget someone.

Ayushmann was going through his cupboard trying to find his favourite shirt, his hands swiftly moving from hanger to hanger when suddenly it stops when his hand touch something soft and his eyes fall on the item, scarf. Red with black lines, soft cashmere scarf. It's not Ayushmann's but he knows too well whose scarf it is, Jitu's. Ayushmann is unable to look away as he goes into memory lane once again.

He remembers that day so clearly when they were promoting for the movie. When Jitu had strolled in wearing scarf around his neck, looking absolutely stunning, Ayushmann was unable to keep his gaze away from him. Coming closer Jitu notices his intense gaze.

"Kya howa?" Coming out of his zone Ayushmann stares openly at scarf and following his gaze Jitu looks down at his scarf. _(What's wrong?)_

"Acha nahi lag raha?" He asks unsurely, his fingers fiddling with it. _(It's not looking nice?)_

"Bohut hi acha lag raha hai." Ayushmann says bit breathless and Jitu looks at him. _(It's looking really good in fact.)_

"Tu theek hai na?" Ayushmann looks at him and manages to nod. Not knowing why looking Jitu in a scarf is making him so uneasy. _(Are you alright?)_

"Woh socha ke acha lagega..." _(I just thought it would look good...)_

"Bohut hi... acha lag raha hai. Suit kar raha hai tumpe." Jitu blushes at that. ( _It is looking really good. It suits you quite well.)_

Ayushmann clearly remembers his eyes keeping going back to Jitu every now and then and at the scarf. In the end, his gazes were not gone unnoticed by Jitu who asked him once again.

"Sahi sahi bata, scarf theek nahi hai kya?" _(Tell me honestly, is scarf is not looking good on me?)_

"Arre nahi... bohut hi acha hai, mujhe bohut pasand aya hai." He says what comes to his mind and it does the trick as Jitu thinks Ayushmann likes the scarf though don't know why, it's not even branded. Anyways, after the promotions before leaving, that night Jitu gifts the scarf to Ayushmann who accepts it overwhelmed. _(No no, it's looking awesome, I really love it.)_

He took the scarf but never wore it, he kept it safe and hanged it in his cupboard safely. He couldn't bring himself to wear it because it was wore by him. His scent is in it. Ayushmann spent that night keeping scarf close to his heart as he kept inhaling Jitu's scent.

Coming out of memory zone, he gently creases the scarp and bringing it close to his face, he inhales again. Jitu's scent is still there, fading slowly but still there. Smiling to himself, he tucks the scarf back safely between his shirts and closes the cupboard. But it reminds him of few lines he wrote years ago.

_'Bohut dino baad tumhari almari khuli aur mila tumhari khusboo se. Us khushboo ko jaanta hon tumse bhi behtar kyunki rehti thi woh mere saath tumhare jaane ke baad bhi. Agli dafa main us khushboo ko aik bakse mein lejaonge apne saath ur roz milonga tumhe thora thora.'_

_(I opened your cupboard after a long time and met with your fragrance. I recognise your fragrance more than you because it used to live with me for a long time after you would leave. Next time, I'll take this fragrance with me in a box and would meet you daily through it.)_

He feels the urge to share these lines but he holds himself back and let few tears fall from his eyes before he shakes himself off from these feelings. _'Es band almari ki tarhan ab mujhe bhi apne jazbaat ko band kar dena hoga.'_ He knows what is the right thing to do but his mind and heart at constant battle leaving him truly exhausted. _(Like this closed box I will have to lock away my feelings.)_


	17. Chapter 17

**Heartstrings::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Jitu knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what exactly what it was but there was something that had changed somewhere, somehow. He hasn't spoken with Ayushmann properly for over almost 2 months, given that both of them had been quite busy with their respective projects but still. His calls were going unnoticed or rather the apology messages from Ayushmann, his text messages also short and to the point. This is exactly why Jitu believes he is being ignored. Because that's exactly what he had done when he realised the depth of his feelings for Ayushmann.

It does feel weird to have tables turned on him but this time he does not even know what did he do to deserve that. _'Shayaad waqai hi kaam bohut zayada hoga aur main pata nahi kya kya soch raha hon.'_ His mind has been playing this cruel game with him where a part of him tries to console him and the other part tries to scare him to death. _(Maybe he is under a workload and I am just making all this up.)_

Jitu is missing Ayushmann a lot, to hear from him, talk to him, their normalcy he misses all of the desperately and it must show on his face because his team keeps asking him, his friends kept asking him what is wrong with him and Jitu always use work as an excuse but of course, it doesn't work for long and Jitu's mood swings aren't improving at all. It is then he comes to a realisation that just how much he gave control to Ayushmann over him without even knowing it. _'Maine kuch kar diya hai kya, Ayush? Mera kasoor hi bata do,'_ his plead is lost in the wind as he looks through their moments together that he has saved on his phone. their BTS photos, videos from the sets, their promotions together and so much more. ( _Did I do something wrong, Ayush? At least tell me my crime.)_

He has entire folder dedicated to Ayushmann and their memories and then he has a separate folder for Kartik & Aman and their memories. Jitu doesn't know what future holds for him but he knows that, there will be no other character who would be so special to him as Aman Tripathi. He is scrolling through the images when he stops at BTS photo of them during the kiss at Goggle's wedding scene. He remembers that day of shooting and how nervous he was over that kissing scene despite the fact they had kissed before as well but somehow this made him more nervous. He remembers how Ayushmann tried to help him shake off some nervousness and as soon they were Kartik & Aman, it just felt natural. But then something had happen and to till date he isn't able to figure out whether it was Jitu & Ayushmann's moment or was it Kartik & Aman's moment.

The kiss at wedding scene was one of the difficult scenes to shoot or rather a difficult kiss scene to shoot. Jitu was already anxious but also this time kissing with everyone present was going to be tough. Even though, according to script it will only be shown for few seconds before they get covered by coat, still it was something different.

"Action!" Jitu disappears and Aman takes over, seeing his love getting humiliated by his father, Aman is unable to take it so he does what feels right. Without caring in the world he kisses Kartik, bringing his face to his level he presses his lips against Kartik.

The shoot resumes from where Chaman drops the coat over them.

"Action!" Jitu and Ayushmann can't be seen under the coat so they have to present the scene from their body language. Their lips were barely touching as focus wasn't on them but the proximity, the way Jitu was holding Ayushmann, it was getting too much. His eyes drop to to meet with Jitu's eyes who has this dopey smile and something happens. Without thinking, Ayushmann closes the gap kissing him.

It doesn't bring a shock to him as much it should in fact, he loses himself in the kiss. Even though, they have kissed for scenes but they all had been lip locks, but here, Jitu opens his mouth to gasp and Ayushmann's tongue meets with Jitu's and just like that they are in Ayushmann's living room again, world forgotten, they continue to kiss until a loud "Cut!" rings in their ears bringing them to reality, breaking apart, almost breathless they just stare at each other, unable to explain what just happened.

The coat still doesn't move as Hitesh is explaining the scene to Neena Gupta when she has to lift the coat. Jitu's eyes are wide and Ayushmann's are almost hungry, taking Jitu by surprise, a shiver runs down his spine. Unable to understand whether it was Kartik kissing Aman or Ayushmann kissing Jitu... He doesn't dare to ask thinking it is Kartik of course, so he slips into Aman again pushing all of Jitu's dilemmas back of his mind.

"You two good to go?" They hear from Hitesh and both nod slightly and the scene resumes.

Jitu can feel his heart racing once again and going breathless just thinking about that moment and sometimes he drives himself mad when he imagines it was Ayushmann who kissed him not Kartik. _'What have you done to me, Ayushmann? Kyun mujhe es tarhan tarpa rahe ho?'_ It is all Jitu's mess, his feelings getting in the way of their friendship. Why would he think that just because Ayushmann went out of his way to be there for Jitu when he had a meltdown that it would mean something more than a friendship? Ayushmann was just being a good friend, that's it. Yet, he cannot help but to think that something changed between them since that night they spent together. ( _What have you done to me, Ayushmann? Why are you tormenting me like this?)_

Since their confrontation Tahira has noticed not so subtle changes in Ayushmann. How Jitu's name make him jump but he manages to dial it down to just a twitch. He is spending all his time outside his work just with his family, trying to make up for lost times. He is being nothing but a perfect family man and how it breaks her heart to see that this is nothing like the Ayushmann she has known. Tahira knows this isn't the end but rather a beginning of the storm heading their way, she'd be blind not to notice it but it seems like Ayushmann is playing a blind man rather beautifully.

Can he not see what's coming? Can he not hear the storm that is almost at their doorstep? Tahira is not scared of what's coming but she is more worried about Ayushmann turning the blind eye to it. It's been almost two months or more and she is once again waiting for the other shoe to drop and now it's getting frustrating because she knows for a fact that other shoe will be dropping any moment now. _'Did you really think that avoiding and ignoring will work? Really Ayushmann? Don't you see it's happening.'_

She can see how much Ayushmann is in pain as he is still trying to convince himself and her that Jitu is nothing more than a passing infatuation, he is so far in his denial that he cannot see how many people he is hurting right now - himself, Tahira and Jitu too. She knows how much Ayushmann is missing Jitu, wanting to talk to him but of course, he decides to go cold turkey here and the withdrawal symptoms are really not pleasing.

Jitu has just gotten back in Mumbai after wrapping up Kota Factory 2 when he had gotten another role offer for Amazon Prime Original Series which Jitu accepted happily and also beginning to shooting for it soon. Jitu's career is surely taking a flight in a better direction but he is still hopeful for another film, so far the roles he got offered don't have much potential so he politely kept declining. He thinks about calling Ayushmann and sharing the good news, it's been 4 days and still Jitu hasn't made the call to Ayushmann. Maybe because a little part of also got bit of childish and playing the game if he doesn't call, I wouldn't either. It's been 4 days and still nothing Jitu can feel himself breaking his resolve.

It last for few more hours before Jitu gives in and makes the call. It rings and rings and Jitu can feel his hope vanishing, he is about to disconnect when he picks up the phone.

"Finally... aaj phone utha hi liya. Warna maine bhi soch liya tha ab main bhi call nahi karonga." Jitu is relieved and yet somewhat annoyed as well so it just slips out. _(Finally... you picked up the phone today. I had made up my mind that I wouldn't call you again.)_

"Itne naraz hogaye apne dost se?" That isn't Ayushmann's voice and he knows whose voice is that, it sends chill down his spine causing him to freeze in place. _(You are that upset with your friend?)_

"Kya howa? Chunk gaye ke Ayushmann ne nahi maine phone utha liya?" _(What happened? Shocked to hear that it's me who picked up the phone and not Ayushmann?)_

"Kaise... hain, aap? Tahira?" Jitu manages to work his mouth to utter his sentence. _(How are you? Tahira?)_

"Ayushmann shower mein hain aur phone baj'ji ja raha tha toh maine socha utha lon, warna tum mujhse baat kahan karoge?" _(Ayushmann is in the shower and phone kept ringing so I picked it up to talk to you otherwise you don't speak to me ever.)_

"Aisi baat nahi hai, bas woh... kafi..." _(It's nothing like that... I was just...)_

"Busy tha? Haina? Yehi Ayushmann bhi kehte rehte hain aajkal." _(Busy? Yes, that's what Ayushmann keeps saying these days too.)_

"Aapko bhi?" 'Shit,' it just slipped out and Jitu smacks his forehead. Tahira laughs at this. _(To you too?)_

"Mujhe kehte nahi hain par unke chehre se dekh leti hon... Aajkal bas apne aap mein hi busy hain." Jitu is slightly taken aback at this, not sure what to say to this so he tries to steer conversation to safe ground. _(He doesn't say that to me but I can see it from his face... he keeps within himself these days.)_

"Haan kaafi busy lagte hain, kaafi time se baat nahi howi na humari bhi." _(It seems like it he is busy as we haven't spoken in quite some time as well.)_

"Haan shayad esi liye itne udaas hain." _(Maybe that's why he is so down.)_

"Jee?" It catches him off guard at how casually Tahira does this and he doesn't know what to think of it. _(What?)_

"Haan na, apne best friend se baat nahi hogi, mulaqaat nahi hogi toh udaas hi honge na." _(Yes, of course, he hasn't spoken to his best friend in long time, haven't met him so he will be down.)_

"Woh..." _(Actually...)_

"Acha sunno... tum waapis agaye ho kya?" _(Listen, are you back?)_

"Haan... main agaya tha kuch din pehle." _(Yes, I have gotten back few days ago.)_

"Great... toh aik kaam karo, main na tumhe invite send karti hon, party ka hai aur tum aarahe ho." _(Great, then do one thing, I will send you an invite for a party and you will come to it.)_

"Tahira ji..."

"Arre itne formal kabse hogaye? Aur main kuch nahi sun'nogi tum bas araahe ho. Ayushmann ke liye acha surprise hoga, waise bhi itne time se nahi mile, ab toh milna banta hai." _(Why are you being so formal? And I will not listen to any excuses, you are coming, that's it. It will be a surprise for Ayushmann. You guys haven't met in a while so you should meet.)_

"Lekin..." He desperately wants to say no but a part of him desperately wants to go as well. _(But...)_

"Main kaha na no bahana. Tum bas arahe ho aur main invite send kar rahi hon. Ayushmann khush honge tumse milkar." Jitu relents and agrees to attend the party. _(I will not hear any excuses. You are coming and I am sending the invite to you. Ayushmann will be so happy to see you.)_

"Great, I'll see you then." With this she hangs up and Jitu is left in shock at what just happened. On one hand is happy to know he'll be seeing Ayushmann but on the other hand something feels seriously wrong but he doesn't know why he is feeling that. Within few minutes he receives the invite Tahira had been talking about. Somewhere deep down a voice is telling him not to attend the party he can feel it in his bones something is about to happen but he doesn't know what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... only 3-4 max chapters to go. :) Storm is here, let's see what happens now. ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all... so here's the next chapter, not long to go now. I'm sorry took me long to update. I have been quite unwell past few days and busy too. I'll be going on writing break for a bit, will just finish this story before the break and then will come back with new stories and updates on my on-going fics after a break. :)

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Ayushmann is not in a party mood but he hardly is in mood for anything at all these days yet he is still continuing with his life, jumping through all the right hoops in other to keep his world going the way it has been. But that doesn't mean he is particularly enjoying it right now. But what is life if it isn't about keeping up the appearances from time to time and that's what he is doing recently rather the dwelling on what could have been if he had chosen a different path but now he keeps himself so busy that he doesn't get anytime to even let his mind wander off in a certain direction.

"You look rather handsome tonight." He smiles back to see Tahira looking as beautiful as ever and his heart sinks a little, the smile dims for a millisecond before it's full bright again.

"You look so beautiful."

"Don't I always?" She replies back with same sass and wink and Ayushmann laughs but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'm excited tonight." He is bit surprised at her tone.

"Party ke liye?" He asks but she doesn't reply bit there is a glint in her eyes and it makes him uneasy slightly. _(For the party?)_

Jitu has been debating whole evening whether to go to that party or not but in the end his heart wins over his mind and Jitu ends up going for the party anyway. Still there had been voice nagging him constantly saying it's a bad idea but Jitu chooses to ignore it in favour of seeing Ayushmann tonight. He didn't tell Ayushmann he is coming because until last minute Jitu himself had been unsure what to do.

By the time Jitu gets to party it has already started with some of big celebrities gathered around. His eyes keep darting through the crowd to find the one person he is looking for and they don't rest until they found their target. Ayushmann, looking as handsome as ever is busy talking to Bhumi wearing his professional smile. Jitu makes his way towards Ayushmann but doesn't immediately goes over to him, he waits until Ayushmann is alone, then he walks up to the man, he missed so much.

As soon Ayushmann notices Jitu he goes still. The shock on Ayushmann's face is clearly visible as if he has seen a ghost but then Jitu moves forward to pull him in a hug and Ayushmann from unfreezes as his arms wrap themselves around Jitu. For a moment, he forgets everything; all the pain, pining and he just enjoys having Jitu in him arms again but it is short lived as Jitu pulls back quicker than Ayushmann wanted to.

"Hey... kaise ho?" Jitu asks him shyly. _(Hey... how are you?)_

"Tum yahan?" He asks at the same time and Jitu blinks. They both chuckle and shake their heads. _(You here?)_

"Surprise." Jitu just replies to him and Ayushmann doesn't know what to say.

"Tum theek ho na? Itne waqt se hum dono bohut busy thay, baat bhi nahi hoyi toh socha mulaqaat hi sahi." _(You are doing alright? We both have been busy for sometime, couldn't even speak properly so I thought let's just meet.)_

"Haan... main kaafi... busy tha." Ayushmann says but apparently his tone doesn't support his words. _(Yes... I have been... very busy.)_

"Jaanta hon... aik dum aise gayab hi hogaye. Na phone, na messages." Ayushmann feels embarrassed for what he did now seeing Jitu, he hurt him too, a lot, but he didn't know what else to do. _(I know... You just vanished suddenly, without any phone or messages.)_

"Sorry, yaar." Ayushmann says while looking down and Jitu doesn't know what comes over him as he places his hand gently on Ayushmann's shoulder and squeezes it.

"Arre sorry, kyun? Thori na tumne jaan bujh kar kiya hai. I get it, hum sab busy hojate hain." Only if things were as simple. Ayushmann's face must have gave it away because Jitu's expression changes and the smile falters. _(Why are you sorry? It's not like you did it intentionally.)_

"Tu theek hai na, Ayushmann?" _(You are okay, Ayushmann?)_

"Haan... nahi... kyun?" _(Yes... no... why?)_

"Aaj se pehle itna confused aur badla howa nahi dekha toh esi liye pooch raha hon." _(I have never seen so you so confused and nervous, that's why I am asking you.)_

"Nahi toh... aisa kuch bhi nahi hai." Ayushmann musters up a smile and Jitu believes his words even though they set him on edge. _(It's nothing like that.)_

"Tu kya kar raha hai ajkal?" Ayushmann tries to stir conversation to save direction and Jitu tells him about the Amazon Prime original series and Ayushmann lights up hearing this, pulling him in another hug, he tells Jitu how proud he is and the only way is up from here. Jitu finally feels bit relax seeing a bit of old Ayushmann in there. There moment is broken by Tahira who comes to greet Jitu. _(What are you up to these days?)_

"Hey, Jitu... long time, finally you made it. Kaise ho?" Jitu does not miss the air change between them instantly with Tahira's entrance and how suddenly Ayushmann is few feet apart and closed off, instantly leaving Jitu utterly confused. ( _Hey, Jitu... long time, finally you made it. How are you?)_

"Main theek hon, aap kiasi hain?" Jitu and Tahira engage in small talk meanwhile Ayushmann excuses himself to greet someone else. His abrupt leave make both Tahira and Jitu bit startle. _(I am fine, how are you?)_

"Tahira, Ayushmann theek hai na? I mean, aaj bohut ajeeb sa behave kar raha hai." _(Tahira, is Ayushmann okay? I mean, he is behaving very weirdly tonight.)_

"Kaise?" ( _How so?)_

"Pata nahi, bohut khoya khoya sa hai." Tahira studies Jitu's expressions. _(Don't know but he seems lost.)_

"Haan aajkal woh aisa hi hogaya hai, khoya khoya sa... saath hokar bhi bohut dorr hai." Jitu looks at her in surprise. _(Yes, these days he seems to be like this, lost... he is here yet so far away.)_

"Par kyun?" _(But why?)_

"Tum khud pooch lo, shayad tumhe bata de. Mere ilawa tum hi toh ho uske dil ke qareeb." The way she says that with resigned expressions Jitu is left unsettled and confused. Tahira excuses herself from there. Suddenly Jitu has the urge to walk away from there from whatever this is, it feels like he might be in middle of something but he has no ides what. _(Why don't you ask himself yourself, maybe he will tell you. apart from me, you are the one who is close to his heart.)_

Ayushmann doesn't approach Jitu during the party but his eyes keep following Jitu everywhere he goes. Seeing him here, right in front of him and not being able to do anything makes Ayushmann feel so helpless. Indeed it was a foolishness to fall for him, he let his inner Kartik take control perhaps that's why he kept falling for Jitu. Looking at Jitu, getting along with other actors makes Ayushmann feel envious. Look at them, finally noticing Jitu now, but it was Ayushmann who found Jitu first, got to him first, became his is looking so beautiful, ever so handsome, so soft and the way his eyes shine, that shy smile and how his gaze lowers when someone praises him, cheeks going red. _'This is why, I love him.'_ That hits him like tons of bricks almost choking on his own breathe, suddenly he feels walls closing in, everything feels too much. Ayushmann manages to leave from there, finding a quiet corner where he almost falls against the wall, trying to breathe properly but is unable to.

Suddenly a pair of arms holds him as he is about to slip away. He can hear Jitu's voice far away asking him to come back to him, Ayushmann focuses on his voice, hanging onto it like a lifeline as he lets himself follow him.

"Breathe. Ayushmann. Breathe. That's it, focus on me." Jitu holds Ayushmann's hand and places on his heart and help Ayushmann through his anxiety. He didn't even know Ayushmann had anxiety or get panic attacks, since he has known him and never encountered this before. Holding Ayushmann securely in his arms, Jitu stays with him until Ayushmann finally calms down a bit, tears rolling down his eyes, unknown to his surroundings all Ayushmann feels in this moment is security and love.

"It's okay, you are okay. I got you." Jitu keeps whispering in soothing voice and Ayushmann finally comes back to Jitu and finds himself wrapped around Jitu. Instead of relief he feels panic raising within him yet again, in an instant he pushes himself away from Jitu's arm almost causing other man to fall. Jitu looks at him in shock tries to reach out to Ayushmann but he moves away from his reach yet again.

"Ayush... kya? Wh..." The more he tries to move towards Ayushmann the further the man moves.

"Yeh sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai. Tum... sab tumhara kasoor hai." Jitu stills in shock as the words finally reach his ears and register in his mind. _(This is all your fault. You... you are to be blamed for this.)_

"Kyun aye tum? Sab kuch bigaadh diya hai tumne." _(Why did you come? You ruined everything.)_

"Ayush... kya baat kar rahe ho? Kya hogaya hai?" Jitu literally has no idea what Ayushmann is on about. _(Ayush... what you are talking about? What has happened?)_

"Tum, sab fasaad ki jadh ho tum." (You are the root cause.)

"Aisa kya kar diya hai maine? Mera kasoor toh batao?" Ayushmann is not even looking at Jitu and other man's heart is sinking so much right now. _(What the hell I do? At least tell me what is my fault?_

"Tum kyun aye? Kyun aye meri zindagi mein aik tofaan ki tarhan aur sab barbaad kar diya." Tears well up in Jitu's eyes as he stands there in shock, hurt and confused. Suddenly Ayushmann turns to look at Jitu, between his panic and outburst he is unable to see the hurt he is causing Jitu. _(Why did you come? Why did you come in my life like a storm and ruined everything?)_

"Mera sakoon, mera chain sab cheen liya hai ab aur kya chahte ho? Chalo jao. Chalo jao meri zidagi se, chodh do mujhe akela." The way he throws those words at Jitu with pure intent to hurt Jitu, it works. Suddenly, Jitu straightens up, wiping his tears away, he looks at Ayushmann. _(You took away my peace, you took away everything, what else do you want now? Leave. Go from my life and leave me alone.)_

"Yehi chahte ho tum? Ke main chala jaon?"

"Haan, chalo jao meri zindagi se, jaan chodh do meri." Ayushmann forces his hands together and literally begs and Jitu's heart shatters, the world comes crushing down onto him but he doesn't let himself fall there and then. No, he holds his tears in his eyes, turns away and without saying another word he walks away. _(Yes... get out of my life, just leave me alone.)_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think only 2 more chapters to go now... :)

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Tahira founds Ayushmann sitting on stairs in one corner looking absolutely shattered and lost, she quickly gets to him.

"Ayushmann... main kabse tumhe dhoond rahi thi aur tum yahan kya howa sab theek hai?" He looks up to meet with her gaze and she is taken aback from the haunting look in his eyes. _(Ayushmann... I have been searching for you and here you are, everything okay?)_

"Maine usay apni zindagi se nikal diya." He speaks after few seconds shocking her completely with his words. She opens her mouth to speak and closes it, instead of speaking she holds out her hand towards him. _(I have thrown him out of my life.)_

"Chalo ghar chalein." He looks at her out stretched hand he ignores her hand and uses wall as his support as he gets up. Walking around her Ayushmann starts to make his way towards the exit, Tahira looks at him walking away, sighing she goes to retrieve their belongings before she walks out of the party knowing very well their night isn't over yet, in fact it has just started. _(Let's go home.)_

Jitu does not remember how he managed to get home but as soon he enters his apartment his knees almost give out. With any strength left in him he makes into his bedroom before shedding extra layers of his clothes which are making him suffocated. He sits down on the edge of his bed and finally let his emotions take over, all of his strength gives out. Then he cries, he sobs over his broken heart, he cries for the loss of his friendship, he cries furiously over being treated so unfairly, being punished so harshly without even knowing his crime.

Angry, burning tears rapidly fall from his eyes and he lets them, he lets him fall apart knowing that there will be no one to pick him up and put him back together. Ayushmann's harsh words still ringing loudly in his head causing him twist in pain yet again, he sits there for a long time mourning over the loss of... a friend? His love? Jitu is not even sure anymore about it, about anything.

Getting tired of his tears Jitu walks into his bathroom to wash his face. Splashing cold water on his face he looks at his reflection and for a moment he is unable to recognise himself. Tears mixing with water droplets on his cheek, he splashes water once again on his face, more tears, more splashing but the tears don't stop. In anger he smashes the mirror with the bottle of shampoo.

Ayushmann has been silent since they left the party and now they are home and yet not a single word and that is really bugging Tahira.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Oh really?" She does not let him get away from this conversation and he looks at her with pure anger.

"Tumne Jitu ko bolaya tha aaj?" _(Did you invite Jitu tonight?)_

"Haan." Just one word and Ayushmann almost looses it. _(Yes.)_

"Why the hell would you do that? Sab kuch itna acha chal raha tha..." Tahira laughs at this. _(Why the hell would you do that? Everything was going so well...)_

"Oh really? Acha chal raha tha? Acha? Kab? Kahan? Mujhe bhi batao. Kyunki shayad main andhi hogayi ho ke mujhe nahi nazar araha hai ke sab acha chala raha tha." Ayushmann does not get the right to be angry tonight, nope, Tahira is furious at him and had been waiting for the other shoe to drop and now it has. _(Oh really? Everything was going so well? Really? When? Where? Show me as well. Because apparently I have gone blind as I can't see that everything was going so well.)_

"Yehi chahti thi na, maine nikal diya hai usay apni zindagi se..." _(This is what you wanted, right, I have pushed him away from my life.)_

"Main chahti thi, MAIN chahti thi?! Are you even hearing yourself, Ayushmann." She cannot believe that he has the audacity to blame her for this. _(I wanted this? I wanted this?! Are you even hearing yourself, Ayushmann.)_

"Toh phir tumne usay kyun bolaya?" He is still reeling from shock that Tahira would do something like this. _(Then why did you invite him?)_

"Tumhe aaina dikhane ke liye." She speaks in dangerously low tone making him pause and causing chills run down his spine. _(To make you face the reality.)_

"Maine toh nahi kaha tha ke tum usay apni zindagi se nikalo. Main sirf tumhari aankhein khulna chahti thi. Tell me, Ayushmann Khuranna, ab bolo mujhse ke Jitu se sirf infatuation thi aur kuch nahi. Bolo!" Ayushmann looks away from her piercing gaze unable to form any answer, no, he has an answer but he doesn't want to say it, admit it. Suddenly the weight of tonight, everything finally falls on him and his shoulders drop. _(I did not ask you to push him away from you life. I was trying to open your eyes to truth. Tell me, Ayushmann, now tell me that it was mere an infatuation with Jitu. Tell me!)_

"You are in love with him, can't you see that?" Tahira spells it out to him tiredly.

"Itne mahinon se tum mujhe, khudko, Jitu ko... sabko pagal bana rahe ho jabke sach tumhare saamne hai." _(All these months you have been making fool of yourself, of me, of Jitu when in fact truth is right in front of you.)_

"I love you." Ayushmann replies desperately.

"But you are in love with Jitu, too. Us pyaar ka kya? Inkaar karne se, chupanne se khatam hogaya woh pyaar?" They are both tired, absolutely shattered from all the burden carrying around. Tahira sits down taking few breathes she tries to cool herself and Ayushmann sits next to her, bringing knees to his chest, lets he head fall onto his knees and closes his eyes finally shedding those tears which had been brimming in his eyes all night. _(But you are in love with Jitu, too. What about that? By denying it, hiding it, will these feelings go away?)_

"What did you do, Ayushmann?" Tahira cards her fingers through his hair and quietly asks him about tonight.

"Maine... I... I..." He can't himself bring to say what he did because it is all just sinking into him now and a lets out a sob.

"I've ruined everything. I couldn't even be his friend."

"What did you do?" She asks him and he suddenly looks up at her through his tears.

"Usne mujhe sahara diya aur badle mein maine usay anpi zindagi se nikal jane ko kaha." Tahira stills at this unable to believe it, he kept saying this but it finally is dawning to her what he exactly did. _(He gave me support, comfort and in return I told him to leave from my life.)_

"Aur pata hai woh mujhse apna kasoor pooch raha tha aur mere paas koi jawab nahi tha." _(And he was asking me what was his crime and I had no answer for him.)_

"Tumne aisa kyun kiya?" _(Why did you do this?)_

"I was scared." Ayushmann admits in tiny voice and for a second her heart crumbles at this.

"Maine bohut koshish ki... tumne dekha na... I tried... usay dorr raha. Par aaj... I..." He looks at her so helplessly hoping that she holds the answer but she just looks on. _(I tried so hard... you saw right... I tried... to stay away from him. But today... I)_

"Tumne koshish ki par kaisi koshish thi yeh, Ayushmann, ke mere paas hokar bhi tum mere paas nahi ho. Jab dil uska toh phir tum mere kaise howe?" He shakes his head trying to deny her words but they hit so close to home. _(You tried but what did it do, Ayushmann? You are not with me despite being here. When you heart belongs to him how can you still be mine?)_

"Aisa nahi hai... I love you, Tahira. I loved you so much for so long..." _(It's not like that... I love you, Tahira. I loved you so much for so long...)_

"And now, you love him too. You are in love with him, Ayushmann and that's the truth we can't deny anymore." They both stay quiet and let all this sink in, they are coming to realisation that their lives will not be same anymore in light of this truth. Tahira knew this was coming, she was waiting for it, preparing herself for it but now that it's out in open, the moment has arrived she has no idea what to do now.

"Tahira..." He tries to say something but she cuts him off.

"You have to tell him the truth, Ayushmann." He gets shocked and instantly finds many excuses to say how bad this it.

"Are you..."

"What? Am I mad? Yes, I think so, I have surely lost it. My husband is in love with another man..."

"I am here with you, Tahira. Main sirf tumse..."

"Oh really?" She scoffs.

"I will not cheat."

"Yes, it's not cheating when the wife knows. Par batao... es dil ka kya karoge?"

"Es sab ka koi matlab nahi hai... I am... I mean... I love him, yes, but that doesn't mean ke kuch hoga, he doesn't love me, I mean... uske liye main sirf dost hon." Tahira just shakes her head and laughs out loud and Ayushmann looks at her in surprise. _(This does not mean... I am... I mean... I love him, yes, but that doesn't mean that something will happen, he doesn't love him, I mean... I am just a friend to him.)_

"Are you fucking serious right now?! Tum itne delusional kaise ho sakte ho? Tumhe dikhayi kaise nahi deta itna bara sach." _(Are you fucking serious right now?! How could you be this delusional? How can you not see the truth.)_

"Tum kya bol rahi ho?" Tahira does not know what to do with this, she feels so done with all this. It is bad enough to make her husband realise he is in love with another man but now to open his eyes to fact that his feelings would be more than reciprocated is another level of insane. _(What are you talking about?)_

"I mean done, Ayushmann."

"Tahira... please."

"I can't, Ayushmann. You need to sort this out between yourself and Jitu. I mean done. Maine aik wife aur aik dost dono ka farz ada kar diya hai ab esay zayada main nahi kar sakti." _(I can't, Ayushmann. You need to sort this out with yourself and Jitu. I am done. I have fulfilled my part as a wife, as a friend and now I can't help you anymore.)_

"Tahira..."

"I know my heart might not be big enough to love more than one person like you and I always stood by you in your lows and highs but this is where I draw the line. I have helped you as much as I could in this situation. Now it's between you and Jitu."

"There is nothing between us. There will be nothing like this, trust me."

"Kaise karon trust jab uska sirf naam sun kar tum choonk jate ho toh trust apne aap toot jata hai." She smiles sadly at him through her tears. _(How can I trust you when every time just hearing his name cause you jump, the trust breaks itself.)_

"I'm so sorry." He manages to utter through his sobs.

"I know." She tells him.

"You have to tell him the truth, Ayushmann. He deserves that." He looks through his tears with almost a 'no' on his lips but the look on her face stops him there.

"Aagay kya hoga main nahi jaanti par tumhe esko face karna parega. Tumne aaj jo kiya hai Jitu ke saath, it's unfair and uncalled for. He deserves the truth, you owe him that." With this she gets up to walk away, he holds her hand tightly not wanting her to go, she looks at him. _(I don't know what will happen from here on but you will have to face this. What you did with Jitu tonight, it's unfair and uncalled for. He deserves the truth, you owe him that.)_

"Main jitna kar sakti thi maine kiya... ab yahan se agay kahan janna hai, kya karna hai yeh tumpar hai. Main thak gayi hon, Ayushmann. Please don't ask more of me right now because I don't have anything else to give you." _(I did what I could... from here on, which road to take, where to go it's up to you. I am tired, Ayushmann. Please don't ask more of me right now because I don't have anything else to give you.)_

"Please mujhe chodhna mat." _(Please don't leave me.)_

"Jab pehle nahi saath chodha toh ab kaise chodhongi?" With this she pulls her hand our of his grasp and walks away meanwhile Ayushmann sits there completely shattered. _(I haven't left till now so how can I leave now?)_


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delays guys, here is the second last chapter of this story. :) Thank you all for being with me, for supporting me and this story till now.  
> Follow me on Twitter: @iqsz  
> Tumblr: @beautyofnight

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

It takes Ayushmann a day to realise what he had done, takes him a week to muster up courage to contact Jitu only to realise that when you tell someone to get out of your life and they oblige it is not an easy to find them again. Jitu had blocked him out of his life permanently. Blocked his number, blocked Ayushmann from all social media accounts and cut all possible ways to get connected to him. It turns out in today's world we take connections and technology for advantage but when we are blocked out from someone's life you have to try the old fashion way.

When Ayushmann had mustered up the courage to call Jitu to apologise it was so weird to not being able to connect with the man when technology failed him, he drove to Jitu's house only to be disappointed again because turns out Jitu has left Mumbai to shoot for new project and gone somewhere remote. He vaguely remembers Jitu mentioning being offered a project.

"Kuch pata hai kahan gaye hain shooting ke liye?" _(Do you have any idea where did he go for shoot?)_

"Nahi Sahab." He feels lost and confused on what to do next, feeling desperate to hear from Jitu, to see him, to apologise; this guilt is really killing him. Ayushmann does not know where Jitu is and he now wishes he had paid more attention to Jitu than to his own mess. It is Maanvi who comes to his rescue when Ayushmann reluctantly but desperately wanted to know Jitu's whereabouts, she tells him about the show and the location but not before she gives her own version of shovel talk to him, asking her to fix whatever he messed up because she cannot see Jitu like this. Ayushmann promises her that he is trying to do that only, that's when she gives him the full information. It takes Ayushmann few days to be able to go there due to his shoot commitments as soon he has a free schedule he leaves to see Jitu. _(No sir.)_

Ayushmann decided to go to Jitu's hotel rather than on shoot because he knows this is not the conversation to have during work. The wait was antagonising and Ayushmann kept thinking what he would say or how would Jitu will react seeing him. With much hesitation he finally goes to his room and knocks. When Jitu opens the door he is shocked to see Ayushmann standing right in front of him.

"Andar ajayon?" Ayushmann asks softly and Jitu almost closes the door at his face. ( _Can I come in?)_

"Please?" Jitu walks away from the door in the room without looking at him, Ayushmann enters and closes the door.

Seeing Ayushmann here is causing all the pain, the heartache, those sleepless nights, his tears, everything comes to hit him hard. His face must have give away something because suddenly Ayushmann looks away blinking away his own tears. Jitu did not expected this, he can't deal with this, not right now, not here.

"Kyun aye hon aap yahan?" _(Why did you come here?)_

"Please aik bar..." ( _Please just once...)_

"Kya? Ab kya chahte ho? Aapne jo kaha maine wohi toh kiya hai. Keh diya ke zindagi se chale jao, nikal jao toh main chup chap nikal gaya." Jitu's voice breaks while repeating Ayushmann's words back to him causing other man to stiff but of course, he deserves this. _(What? What do you want? I did what you asked. You said to get out of your life and I quietly did that.)_

"Kya howa? Ab bolne ko kuch nahi hai?" Looking at Jitu, those tears and the voice Ayushmann is realising how truly he has hurt this man and saying sorry will not make it up to him, he knows yet he just wants to beg forgiveness, he really wants Jitu in his life but he doesn't deserve him, he knows. _(What happened? You have nothing to say anymore?)_

"Jaanta hon, maufi mangne ka haqq nahi hai par main phir bhi maufi... par tum mujhe mauf mat karna, please." _(I know, I don't deserve forgiveness but still I want to ask for forgiveness... but you please don't forgive me, please.)_

"Maufi? Mauf karne ke liye kuch nahi hai. Maufi toh apno mein hoti hai, gairon se kya gila karna?" Ayushmann's heart sinks at this, he and Jitu are, were so close, more than friends, more than family. _(Forgiveness? There is nothing to forgive. Forgiveness happens with your closed ones, not with strangers.)_

"Pleae aisa mat bol, Jitu. You were, are, more than family. You know that." But of course seeing Jitu's face he can tell that of course he did not know that. Jitu, having enough of this wants nothing more than to leave. He knows how much he has suffered since that night. His tears are now dried but the wounds are still fresh. Jitu tries to leave from there but Ayushmann holds his wrist stopping him in his tracks, Jitu stops but he does not look at Ayushmann and that really hurts the other man. _(Please don't say that, Jitu. You were, are, more than family. You know that.)_

"Jitu..." The way Ayushmann says his name with so much pain and love it makes Jitu go weak once again, he cannot do this all over again. Whatever has happened it was not ideal but it is for the best.

"Please chale jao, Ayushmann. Maine bohut mushkil se apne aapko, apne dil ko samjhaya hai main phirse yeh sab nahi kar sakta." Jitu meets with his gaze and Ayushmann finds his eyes moist, at his words Ayushmann's hold tightens on Jitu's wrist without even realising himself. _(Please leave, Ayushmann. With great difficulty I have explained my heart now I can't go through it again.)_

"Ab main keh raha hon meri zindagi se chale jao." Jitu tells him and Ayushmann's heart stops, he vigorously shakes his eyes. _(Now I am telling you to leave, from my life.)_

"Please aisa mat bol. Main maufi mang raha hon na. I am truly sorry, Jitu. I was not in good place that night. Itna sab kuch chal raha tha aur phir tumhe dekha toh..." Ayushmann does not know how to continue from here, he is on verge of losing Jitu and now he is realising how much he needs him in his life. _(Please don't say that. I am begging for your forgiveness. I am truly sorry, Jitu. I was not in good place that night. So much was going on and when I saw you that night...)_

"Tum samne hote ho toh bas sirf tum hote ho... duniya ki toh khabar hi nahi hoti." Ayushmann confesses and Jitu is startled at this. _(When you are there I can only see you... rest of world is unknown to me.)_

"I know, main selfish hon, maine tumhare saath bohut galat kiya hai, I am really sorry Jitu." Ayushmann pleads to him. _(I know, I am selfish person, what I did to you was truly wrong. I am realyl sorry Jitu.)_

"Kyun?" Jitu asks in his broken voice and Ayushmann knows exactly what Jitu is asking, he wants to tell him but he doesn't know what to say, how to tell your best friend the reason you pushed them away is because you realised your true feelings for him. Jitu is waiting for the answer but when he is met with silence, shaking his head, he removes his wrist from Ayushmann's grasp and tries to walk away from him. ( _Why?)_

"Because I'm in love with you." Ayushmann lets out his biggest secret out in defeated voice, damning all the consequences, Jitu deserves to know the truth, he cannot go on living without telling him that. Jitu had only taken few steps away from Ayushmann when the confession hits him like someone throwing ice bucket on him, freezing him in the place. Slowly, turning around he faces Ayushmann.

"Jitu... I love..." He couldn't get to finish his sentence because Jitu is in his space instantly and pushes him away.

"How dare you? Aapki himmat kaise hoyi mere jazbaat ke saath aise khelne ki?!" Ayushmann is shocked at Jitu's reaction. _(How dare you? How dare you to think you can play with my feelings like this?!)_

"Samjh ke kya rakha hai mujhe? Meri feelings ko? Mazaq hai kya? Jab chaha zindagi mein shamil kar diya aur jab chaha nikaal diya." _(Who do you think I am? My feelings? Are they joke to you? Whenever you feel like it, you invite me in your life and when you want you tell me to leave.)_

"Jitu..." It takes him few good moments to realise what Jitu exactly said. _'Could it be...?'_ Shaking his head he looks at Jitu for more clarity who seems on a verge of a losing it.

"Maine sab mauf kiya, maine sab sehan kiya, Ayushmann... lekin yeh nahi. How could you?" A sob leaves his body, Ayushmann instantly tries to hold Jitu to comfort him but other man shrugs him off. _(I forgive all, I tolerated it all, Ayushmann... but not this. How could you?)_

"Jitu please, meri baat sun le, aik bar. Mera irada tumhe hurt karne ka nahi tha, na hi tumhari feelings. Jitu, main itne waqt se aapne aap mein itna ulajh gaya tha ke maine kisi aur par dihaan hi nahi diya. Jab yeh ehsaas howa ke tum mere dil ke, meri rooh ke kitne qareeb agaye ho, itne se waqt mein, main darr gaya tha, aapne jazbaat suljhane ke chakar mein, maine tumhe aapne aap se dorr kar diya sirf es liye ke tumhe taqleef se baccha sakon." Ayushmann pleads to Jitu as he opens his heart in front of Jitu who is looking at him through his tears, absolutely stunned.

_(Jitu please, just listen to me this once. I never wanted to hurt you or your feelings. Jitu, I have been struggling with myself in all this time and I couldn't see anything beyond it. When I finally came to a realisation that what truly you mean to me, how close you are to my heart, my soul, in just a little time, it scared me so much and in order to try and sort out my feelings, I distanced myself from you so I could not hurt you.)_

"I know tum yaqeen nahi karoge par yeh sach hai aur mujhe bhi yeh sach jaanne mein itna waqt lag gaya. Jab tak samajh ayi tab tak bohut dair hogayi thi, tum jaa chukay thay meri zindagi se." Ayushmann takes a step towards Jitu who takes a step back and it hurts Ayushmann but he can see clearly Jitu is struggling with his truth, he wants to talk about about Jitu's confession but he needs to come clear with Jitu first. _(I know you will not believe me but this is the truth and it took me a long time to come to face to face with it. When I finally realised my feelings for you then it was late because you had already exited from my life.)_

"Nahi pata chala par... pyaar hogaya tumse. Samajh hi nahi ayi, socha ke shayad infatuation hai, waqt ke saath... socha khudko door karlon tumse toh shayad par yeh doori itni chubhi ke jab tum samne aye toh saare jazbaaton ne mujhe aik saath aise ghair liya ke meri samajh mein nahi aya ke kya karon aur kya hogaya. Tumhe us raat party mein dekha toh aaine ki tarhan saaf dikhayi diya ke tum mere liye kya ban gaye ho."

_(I don't know when... but I fell in love with you. I thought it might be an infatuation and it'll pass with time... I thought distancing myself from you will help but it hurt me so much to be distant from you that when we finally met that night, all my emotions hit me all together and I didn't know what I was doing. Seeing you in that party that night it became crystal clear that what you have become for me.)_

Jitu lets Ayushmann's words wash over him finally bringing some comfort to his pain. Isn't that what he had wished for deep down in his heart, his wish which he knew would never get fulfilled and now Ayushmann is here, he is saying what Jitu secretly yearned for then why doesn't it feel good? He looks up at Ayushmann.

"Kyun aye tum? Kyun bataya mujhe tumne yeh sab?" There is so much Ayushmann wants to say but he doesn't think that will help right now. ( _Why did you come now? Why are you telling me this now?)_

"Because you deserve the truth, Jitu."

"Ab main es sach ka kya karon? Batao mujhe." Ayushmann looks down helplessly. _(What should I do with this truth now? Tell me.)_

"Jitu... main sirf..." _(Jitu... I only...)_

"Nahi socha tha ke aik din ayega ke tum mujhse kahoge ke tum bhi... mujhe..." Ayushmann's eyes go wide at this, slowly raising his gaze to meet with Jitu's who is giving him a sad smile. _(Never thought that this day will come when you will tell me that... you too...)_

"Hairan kyun ho rahe ho? Tumhe toh andaza hoga, hona chahiye ke main..." _(Why are you so surprised? You should have an idea by now that I...)_

"Jitu..."

"Tum tum ho... tumhare saath guzara howa har aik pal, har lamha mere andar sirf roshni bhar deta tha toh aise kaise ho sakta tha ke mujhe tumse mohabbat na hoti. Mujhe toh tumse mohabbat honi hi thi." Another sobs chokes out of him at this and Ayushmann is next to Jitu once again, trying to hold him in his arms but Jitu keeps fighting him, after a struggle, Jitu finally feels giving up as he falls against Ayushmann's chest and let his tears fall, holding Ayushmann tightly and in return Ayushmann's arms tightens their hold on Jitu. Both of them sit on the floor and let their confessions sink in as they both silently cry in each other's arms. Tears of joy, tears of pain and regret keep rolling down their eyes but in this moment nothing matters except the fact they are together right now. Ayushmann let his head fall over Jitu's and he gently places a kiss in his hair as he whispers 'I love you' and 'I am sorry' over and over again. They don't know what the future holds but in this moment they belong to each other and in each other's arms. _(You are you... every moment spent with you has filled me with pure light then how is it possible that I wouldn't fall in love with you? It was inevitable.)_


	21. Chapter 21

**HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann**

Jitu wasn't expecting anyone at this late hour, wondering who it could be he goes to the door, opening it he finds Ayushmann leaning against his door step. Their gaze meet and suddenly world seems to have come to a halt. The surprise on Jitu's face does not stop the smile to spread across his face to match Ayushmann's. This time Ayushmann does not need permission as Jitu allows him to come in once again, in his home, in his life. As Ayushmann takes steps to enter the home, Jitu is hit with the flashback to their meeting last meeting, three months ago, in that hotel room where their lives completely changed.

Tears have dried up yet they are still clinging onto each other just soaking in each other's warmth and attention. When Jitu lifts his head to meet with Ayushmann's gaze and he finds nothing but sincerity in it. Ayushmann moves one of his hand to gently place it on Jitu's face who instantly melts against his touch placing a soft kiss on his palm causing Ayushmann to smile, finally, smile openly for the first time in a while. They don't break their gaze as their eyes silently communicate with each other, it is such a soft moment where they don't use words but just small touches and eyes shining with pure love for each other, they are afraid if they make any sound this might vanish.

Ayushmann let's his head fall slightly and their foreheads touch, Jitu closes his eyes and just enjoys the moment. This is what is more than he could ever hope for, asked for and now that they are here, he cannot believe this. He feels Ayushmann nuzzling against his cheek before placing soft kiss there and slowly moving towards his lips, Jitu's heart is thumping against his chest loudly. He feels Ayushmann's breathe against his lips taking his breathe away, he can feel the gap closing but he turns his face away in last moment and Ayushmann ends up placing a kiss on corner of his lips. Jitu doesn't turn his face and Ayushmann looks at him curiously, when he finally opens his eyes to meet with a questioning gaze.

"Tahira." One name is enough to burst their tiny bubble which hadn't even fully formed yet, Ayushmann looks away and Jitu moves away from his arms to create distance between them followed by an uncomfortable silence which Ayushmann decides to break with another truth.

"Woh sab jaanti hai." This shocks Jitu to his core who looks at Ayushmann in disbelief. ( _She knows everything.)_

"What do you mean ke woh sab jaanti hai?" Ayushmann doesn't answer him just sighs. _(What do you mean she knows everything?)_

"Woh shuru se jaanti hai, in fact mujhse pehle se usay andaza tha meri feelings ka." _(She has known since the beginning, in fact she caught onto my feelings even more me.)_

"What the hell?" Jitu swears angrily and then remembers the phone call when Tahira invited him to the party and suddenly it all clicks.

"Esi liye mujhe party par..." _(That's why she invited me to that party...)_

"Haan." Ayushmann then proceeds to tell Jitu everything that happened in past few months between him and Tahira which led up to the night of the party where Ayushmann had a breakdown. Jitu just sits there listen to all of it in shock and disbelief, unable to imagine what Tahira must have gone through and everything she did, once Ayushmann finishes his sits on edge of bed with his head in his hands. _(Yes.)_

"Toh phir tum kyun aye yahan? Kyun bataya mujhe yeh sab? Kyun mujhe ummi..." _(Then why did you come here? Why did you tell me everything? Why gave me this hop...)_

"Jitu... main... I can't lose you, like this." Jitu scoffs at this.

"Main bas apna dost aise nahi khona chahta tha." _(I did not want to lose my friend.)_

"Aur ab? Yeh sab sach janne ke baad ab kya karein?" Jitu feels so conflicted and helpless right now not knowing what to do, he goes and sit with Ayushmann on the edge of bed, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ayushmann lifts his head from his hands with fresh tears brimming in his eyes. _(Now what? What can we do with this truth between us?)_

"Meri family..." _(My family...)_

"Tujhe kya lagta hai ke main tujhe kabhi bhi teri family se door kar sakta hon? Agar asa hota toh itne waqt tak andar hi andar na ghut'ta rehta." _(What did you think that I would take you away from your family? If thi was the case I wouldn't have suffered in silence for all this time.)_

"Jitu... I am so sorry." Jitu shakes his head as he smiles sadly.

"Me too." Jitu whispers these words feeling the burden of them in his heart. What kind of situation they are in now, where he has finally the love he wanted, they are so close yet they have never been further. There were no more words, nothing else to be left to do or say. It was unspoken decision yet neither of them wanting to admit to it. Jitu cannot be the one to break their family, he cannot do that and Ayushmann, he cannot leave his family but now after knowing the truth he doesn't want to leave Jitu either but of course he cannot have it all.

"Tum yahan? Kaise?" Jitu asks Ayushmann when they are inside. There is a certain emotion in his eyes and a secretive smile on his lips that is making Jitu curious and a bit afraid as well. (You came tonight? How come?)

"Kyun? Milne nahi aa sakta kya?" He asks in mischievous tone and Jitu just shakes his head. _(Why? I can't come to see you?)_

"Toh kya ab dosti bhi nahi rahi kya?" Ayushmann asks Jitu as he watches Jitu intensively who feels flustered under that gaze. _(So now we are not even friends anymore?)_

These last 3 months have been longer than 3 years for Ayushmann, finally knowing that he wasn't insane but he fell in love with this amazing man and to find out his feelings are reciprocated yet they are unable to do anything about it is nothing less than being in a hell. Jitu had unblocked him once again allowing him in his life once again but it hasn't been easy to try and be just friend with the person knowing the depth of your feelings. Yet, something did shift between them, there has been easiness in their communication, a certain closeness that had been missing for sometime. Their chats begun again between their works, they did take out take for each other, messages here and there, phone calls were less frequent but still happened.

Ayushmann spent many nights thinking over and over about their unspoken decision now that pandora box has been opened he does not know how to close it anymore. There had been moments where he almost asked Jitu does he regret it, does he think about this as much as he does. He keeps dwelling on all the what ifs and some nights they drive him absolutely crazy, it was such one night when he picked up the phone called Jitu and just asked him.

"Do you regret it?" Ayushmann had asked in desperation and Jitu had gone still.

"Ayush... agar maine answer kar diya toh tum regret karoge. Please ab yeh mat karo. Soh jao." With this Jitu had hung up with all the strength he had leaving Ayushmann's stomach in more knots. That was first and last time they spoke about it yet it still hangs between them. _(Ayush... if I answer this then you will regret this. Please don't do this now. Go to sleep.)_

"Aisa nahi hai yeh tum bhi jaante ho." Jitu replies breaking Ayushmann out of his thoughts. _(It's not like that and you know that.)_

"Tum aaj achanak kaise?" Jitu asks Ayushmann once again. It's not he is not happy to see him, he really is but also seeing him here is making his emotions to surface once again. It is taking Jitu's all strength to not just hold him and kiss him insanely. These last few months his life has turned so much that he does not even had the time to fully grasp everything. This push and pull happening between him and Ayushmann has driven Jitu to the edge of insanity, it has taken everything in him to let him go but does not mean that has hasn't thought about all the what ifs. No matter how many what ifs you can imagine, this is reality and him not liking it will not change the reality. _(How come you dropped in tonight so suddenly?)_

"Tumhare liye aik bohut hi bada surprise hai." Ayushmann just casually replies as he comes to stand face to face with Jitu. _(I have a huge surprise for you.)_

"Kaisa surprise?" Unzipping his jacket Ayushmann pulls out a bundle of papers with one hand and with other hand he holds onto Jitu's hand, causing electric current to follow through his body. He takes out the papers and puts them in Jitu's hand who had been looking at Ayushmann. _(What surprise?)_

"Kya hai yeh?" _(What is this?)_

"Khud hi dekh lo." Ayushmann replies grinning. _(See for yourself.)_

Jitu looks down at the papers in his hand and his eyes go wide in shock as he reads the front page -

' _Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan Prequel (Unnamed)_

_**FIRST DRAFT** _

_**Written by:** Hitesh Kewalya_

_**Starring:** Ayushmann Khuranna & Jitendra Kumar'_

Jitu looks at Ayushmann in shock then back at the papers and then back to Ayushmann who is grinning.

"Is this..."

"Yes."

"It's..."

"Yep, it's happening." Ayushmann nods at Jitu who is finally realising that what he is holding in his hand is in fact the script for SMZS 2.

"Hitesh mujhe milne aye script ke saath aur maine kaha ke yeh sabse pehle main tujhe bataonga." _(Hitesh came to see me with the script and I wanted to show you this myself.)_

"Kartik & Aman..."

"Are back." Ayushmann confirms to Jitu who is grinning at Ayushmann with tears in his eyes. Ayushmann moves forward and hugs Jitu tightly. Jitu hugs him back with one arm going around him and one hand on Ayushmann's heart clinging to script tightly.

"Yaqeen nahi araha." Jitu's muffled words are heard by Ayushmann who smiles. _(I cannot believe this.)_

"Mujhe bhi nahi aya tha par ab araha hai." Ayushmann drops a kiss on Jitu's head who is still trying to wrap his head around it. He much he wished for this to happen but when they spoke last time about this possibility it didn't seem like it'll be possible and now here they are, is it even real? _(I couldn't believe it either but now I am beginning to believe it.)_

"It's real." Ayushmann answers as if reading his thoughts. Jitu breaks the hug to face Ayushmann who is matching his expressions. Their eyes meet and suddenly it clicks and everything feels so right. They don't know who moves first and then the gap closes between them as their lips meet into a soft kiss. It was so soft that Jitu's heart breaks at this, a sigh escapes Ayushmann's lips and taking his chance Jitu deepens the kiss, suddenly it's not soft kiss anymore but passionate and pure hunger is in this kiss. They stand there, kissing each other, with script trapped between them, for moments or hours they don't know because time has come to a still here. Finally, this feels right.

**[FIN. Heartstrings]**

**[INTERLUDE: Matters of the Heart]**

* * *

**SNEAK PEAK:**

**FLASH FORWARD - 18 months later**

"You are running. After all that I have done for you. You run." Ayushmann accuses Jitu.

[Jitu and Ayushmann snuggling on sofa together.]

"After everything I've been through. After everything you've put me through, tell me, who wouldn't run." Jitu is tired of this, tired of being accused when he is the one who has been wronged.

[Ayushmann and Jitu dancing in their apartment, smiling and laughing.]

"You know who wouldn't run? Someone capable of being in a relationship." Ayushmann says without any warmth in his words.

[Jitu and Ayushmann in bed together sharing passionate kisses.]

"Someone capable of being normal." Ayushmann looks at Jitu as if he is seeing him for the first time.

[Jitu surprising Ayushmann at his birthday with a slightly burnt cake.]

"If you are someone capable of being alone." Jitu screams back, having enough of this.

[Ayushmann hugging Jitu tightly, resting his head on his stomach, while sinking into his knees.]

"Someone capable of not suffocating me." Jitu accuses Ayushmann who is taken aback.

[Ayushmann and Jitu enjoying star gazing in middle of nowhere.]

"I was doing all this for us." Ayushmann desperately tries to tell Jitu.

[Jitu placing a soft kiss on sleeping Ayushmann's forehead.]

"There is no US!" Jitu screams back as he turns around and walks away and Ayushmann looks at him walking away, defeated. After everything they went through this is what it has come to. He was warned but he didn't listen, after all, **_these violent delights have violent ends_**.

**SEQUEL:**

Now before you all go, this was the sneak peak into the sequel of this story. Heartstrings might be over but their story is certainly not, it is just a beginning. I'll be bringing a sequel to Heartstrings, hopefully in next few months. Because, this story has just reached it's midpoint, an interlude, the second half is still needs to be told.

**Sequel Synopsis:**

Ayushmann starts an extra marital affair with Jitu as they begin to shoot for SMZS 2. For a while it seems like world could not be more perfect or generous on Ayushmann and Jitu. Until, it turns out that you cannot have best of both worlds indeed. For how long Ayushmann can string along Jitu and Tahira without bearing any consequences for his actions. The sequel will be very dark, intense and twisted; with themes including: extra marital affair, internalised homophobia, closet relationships and dark side of their world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lastly, I will like to thank every single one of you who read, liked, commented on this story and appreciated so much. When I begun, I did not realise how big it will become and how close to me heart it will be. Thank you all so much for your kindness and the support you all gave to this story and to me. I love you all of you and thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Till next time. <3 
> 
> Twitter: @iqsz  
> Tumblr: @beautyofnight  
> Instagram: @iq_z


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